15 Years On...

Tomorrow marks the 15th anniversary of the attack on Mathew Shepard in Laramie, Wyoming. My reaction is a confusion of "It's only been 15 years?" and "15 years, already?" Funny how witnessing history settles in your memory in so many odd ways. I remember crying when Matt died. Most of the world; the compassionate, empathetic and good people; the Humanists and the religious, alike - we all cried when Matt died.

On October 6th, 1998, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lured Matthew from the Fireside Lounge bar, pretending to be gay, supposedly with the intent of robbing him. They drove him to a remote area, tied him to a buck fence and beat him mercilessly with their fists, feet and the butt of Henderson's gun. Matthew was found 18 hours later by a fellow UW student who'd gone off trail while biking. Six days later, Matt died from his injuries and the world cried.

Matthew Shepard was a young, idealistic and full of hope for his future as a social activist. He was attending the University of Wyoming and had joined the LGBT support group. Unfortunately, Matt was literally bullied to death. Along with Anthony Milano; Seth Walsh; Pheobe Prince; Kameron Jacobsen; Bailey O'Neill; Tyler Clementi and so many others. 

Matthew's story inspired Moises Kaufman and the Tectonic Theatre Project to create The Laramie Project, a pastiche of interviews, memories and recreations of the events leading up the attack and its subsequent effects on the sleepy western town and her people, right through to the trials themselves.

Productions of The Laramie Project have often been (and I hate say, will probably continue to be) the source of conjecture, especially in educational situations. Most recently, a production at the University of Mississippi ("Ole Miss") was heckled by at least "20 members of the football team" and others. They supposedly taunted female cast members about their bodies; yelled "f*g" and "d*yke" and were generally disruptive. UM issued a lame apology, though Gay/Straight Alliance groups and allies like Brendan Ayanbadejo are pushing for more.

As part of our on-going campaign to prevent bullying and the unnecessary and premature deaths of so many young people, The James Tolin Memorial Fund presents a one-night only special event, a staged reading of The Laramie Project, followed immediately by a talk-back with cast, director and special guest, LGBT activist and member of the Tectonic Theatre Project, Cathy Renna. The reading will be held at the Kelsey Theatre on the Campus of Mercer County Community College in West Windsor, NJ. Curtain is at 7 PM.

As of this writing, tickets are still available online at Kelsey@mccc.org;  at the box office one hour before curtain or by calling 609-570-3333. All proceeds from this special event benefit The Tyler Clementi Foundation. 

Let's put an end to this epidemic. Educate to Stop the Hate. 

Don't let those whose lives have been taken by hate, be taken in vain. Share their stories. Share your stories. Reach out, but listen too. If you see an act of hatred, say something; call the police; do something. 

I can't help but wonder what Matthew and my friend Tony would think about the massive strides since they've been gone. And how maybe some of those strides might have come sooner, if they were still here. Matt had dreams of being an activist and Tony was a very talented artist with a decidedly twisted sense of humor. What might they have accomplished in these many years? Sadly, thanks to hate, we'll never know.

If you can't make the show, you can always visit our website and make a safe, secure donation via PayPal. Or, watch the excellent HBO movie version and make a donation to your local anti-hate charity. 

So... how do we Stop the Hate? How do we assuage the fears of those who don't understand? With works like this. With art that makes people think differently. With the truth, I would hope. Sadly, everyone's truth is different, to one degree or another. I don't care what you think your version of 'God" says about Queer people (yes, even the Native Americans who venerated us as 'magical' beings - thanks, but as much as gay folk might think we're magical, we really aren't). Different from most people? Certainly? Wrong or evil because of it? Hardly. And of course, I know I'm singing to the choir here, as it were. But it's more and more likely that most straight people know at least 1 queer person, whether they're aware of that person's sexuality or not. 

Progress is being made an astonishing rate and things I never thought I'd live to see are happening all over the country. And while so many places in the world have yet to evolve, I can't tell you how happy I am to see the tide turning, at long last.

More, anon.
Prospero

Do Boycotts Work?

There was that gay boycott of Coors beer in the 90's. That worked, right? Coors is out of business, right? More recently (and still going on) we boycotted Chick-Fil-A. And they totally went under. And right before that, our boycott of Target took them down. And let's not forget the opposition. One Million Moms' boycott of JC Penney really sent them spiraling into oblivion, didn't it?

Oh... wait. None of those boycotts made a damned bit of a difference to the companies being boycotted. And while as a community, we are much larger in numbers than One Million Moms (with 58,000 followers on Facebook - about 5% of their claimed membership), even we couldn't take down Coors, Chick-Fil-A or Target.

In the light of recent anti-gay politicking under uber-masculine President Vladimir Putin (methinks the lady doth protest too much) and homophobic attacks in the former USSR, LGBT activist Dan Savage has called for a boycott of Russian products. In particular, Russian Vodka. Already bars in Chicago, San Francisco and several other US cities have removed Stoli and other Russian brands from their shelves. In response, the president of Stolichnaya (which operates in Russia and Latvia) has issued a statement decrying Putin's policies, while touting their promotion of and participation in LGBT events all over the world -- except in Russia. He goes on to say that they are a private company with no influence on governmental policies. And he is 100% right.

In the late 70's or early 80's, I remember a call to boycott Chilean grapes. I think it had something to due with the political climate in Chili at the time. It didn't stop me from eating grapes, mostly because I didn't care about the political climate in Chili. And this current call for a boycott of Russian products isn't going to stop people from drinking Stoli or buying gas at Lukoil and will certainly not stop Putin and his homophobic, fascist regime from persecuting LGBT people in Russia. And that's because most Americans don't care about the political climate in Russia. 

Support for Marriage Equality may be at an all-time high in the U.S., but most of us are more concerned with being able to afford the gas to get to work, let alone Human Rights violations thousands of miles away in some frozen wasteland of a country we've always considered "less than." Hmmm...sound familiar?

Don't get me wrong, I'm very concerned about Human Rights violations wherever they are taking place. But we need to take care of those same issues here in the States before we can even begin to worry about the rest of the world. Hate crimes against LGBTQ people are on the rise (I suspect because the homophobes are reacting against recent strides in Marriage Equality). Recent events in NYC (one of the gay-friendliest cities in the world) prove that we still have a long way to go before we are equal -- Just ask the African-Americans who are still dealing with racism 40+ years after the March on Selma. Ask the Latino-Americans who are subjected to documentation searches in certain southern states. Ask the flight crew of Asiana Airlines flight 214, who were subjected to a news report featuring sophomoric parody names like "Wee Too Lo" and "Bang Ding Ow." Ask any West Asian/Muslim person in the US how they've been treated since 9/11. Ask every parent of a child who committed suicide last year because of homophobic bullying. 

Ask an aging gay atheist what the problem is and I'll be happy to tell you. Ignorance, fear and religion are at the root of both homophobia and xenophobia. Putin's policies are backed by the Russian Orthodox Church, whose leader has said (and I'm paraphrasing here, so don't jump down my throat) that Marriage Equality will bring about the apocalypse. Talk about using scare tactics! 

Here's the thing - boycotts are all well and good, despite their ineffectiveness. If nothing else, they raise awareness. And that's not such a bad thing. 

How do we fix the problem in Russia? I don't know. Some are calling for a ban on international travel by Russian officials. Others are calling for UN sanctions. Me? I'm calling for fighting homophobia, ignorance and hate here in the U.S. before we start worrying about the rest of the world. We can't fix problems elsewhere until they're fixed here. And while I am encouraged by how quickly things are happening here, I know we have a long way to go before joining the now 16 (with the recent addition of the UK) countries which afford same-sex couples the same rights and privileges as opposite-sex couples.

I still don't eat at Chick-Fil-A, but I shop at Target. I was never a big drinker of Stoli (there are cheaper and equally good, if not, better vodkas on the market) so I won't miss anything by not drinking their products. Coors has moved on, though I rarely drink beer (and when I do, it's Harp or Sam Adams or a local brew-pub's). In general, boycotts don't work. Want to effect change? Write or call your local representatives (a simple Google or Bing search will get you the info you need). Demand sanctions and actions. Demand changes to your state's laws. VOTE! Voting is the single most powerful tool we have to effect change in government policy, and most of us don't even bother. Become involved. Be a voice for change, rather than whining about what you don't like. Support local and national LGBT charities either by donating money or volunteering time. Whatever it is, just don't sit on your ass and do nothing. That never helps. The video below may (and should) be disturbing.

More, anon,
Prospero

The Gayest Muppets You'll See on My Birthday

Yes, today is Uncle P's birthday. I share it with Vin Diesel; Nelson Mandela; Wendy Williams; Kristen Bell; John Glenn; Red Skelton; Richard Branson; James Brolin; Hunter S. Thompson; Harriet Nelson; Martha Reeves; Elizabeth McGovern (born the same year); Grant Bowler; Paul Verhoeven and my fellow blogger, Horror fan, Facebook friend and Jersey Boy, Pax Romano (among others). 

My poor mother was in labor with me for 46 hours in a Trenton, NJ hospital without air-conditioning during what is traditionally the hottest week of the year. I was two weeks late in a time before planned Caesareans and induced labor. Given the current weather conditions, I can't believe she loves me as much as she does. And while I am hardly a believer in anything supernatural, the Zodiacal descriptions ascribed to my birth date are usually dead-on: Creative; homebody; romantic; family-oriented; sensitive; quirky; adventurous (to a point); imaginative and fiercely loyal. I'd like to think that most of those qualities apply. In my particular case, they often forget moody; restless; insomniacal (yes, I think I made up yet another new word) and just plain weird. Most (if not, all) of my friends will agree to that last one. 

All that aside, having reached an age I couldn't even begin to imagine as a child, I have also become a vociferous defender of LGBTQ rights; an advocate against bullying; a supporter of anti-suicide causes and, despite the unlikelihood of being a participant, a staunch supporter of Marriage Equality.

Which brings me to the video (via) which I am about to share. While neither an authorized product of Henson Productions or its parent company, Disney (both of which are supportive of LGBTQ causes and employees), this version of "The Rainbow Connection" (sung by a Kermit impersonator) speaks for so many folks in a funny and clever way. I hope that my sharing it will help make it go viral. 

If your birthday was today, please let me know. If you are a fellow Cancerian (or 'Moonchild'), please let me know. Hell, if you enjoyed the video or anything I have to say, please let me know. I always love hearing from you. 

More. anon.
Prospero

The Domino Effect?

The ACLU has filed a legal challenge to my home state's Marriage Equality ban. Similar suits have also been filed in Virginia and North Carolina. 

And it's about time. 

Since SCOTUS ruled Article 3 of the DOMA Act Unconstitutional last month, we can expect such suits being filed in the remaining 38 states which currently do not allow for Marriage Equality. And one by one, just like lined-up dominoes, we can anticipate those anti-gay laws to fall on the side of fairness and "Equality Under the Law." I don't expect it to be an easy fight. Pennsylvania's current Repugnican Governor Tom Corbett, like many of his dinosaur cronies, is against Marriage Equality. But in light of SCOTUS' recent decision on DOMA, the state where America was founded is likely to join the current 12 states and DC in legalizing love within the year (though I think my native state of NJ will be first, despite Governor Krispie Kreme's* opposition).

Yes, there are plenty of PA rednecks who live the part of my state I like to refer to as 'Pennsyltucky,' who rant and rave, but the tide has been turning for quite some time and I suspect the progressive thinkers in Philadelphia and Pittsburgh (what's up with that superfluous H?) will prevail. 

I can see the whole country eventually turning toward reason as more and more people realize that being gay is not a choice, especially if the LGBTQ community continues to make ourselves known. Yes, the haters will probably always be there, just like the racists and anti-Semitics. But even their numbers are (thankfully) dwindling. Frightened, uneducated jerks like Pat Robertson; Maggie Gallagher; Brian Brown and Bryan Fischer will be silenced soon. And the creeps at the Westboro Baptist Church have long ago become laughingstocks. 

While Uncle P has no personal stake (and at my age is unlikely to do so) in the matter, I hope that when I am truly old and decrepit, those who come after will enjoy the rights and privileges afforded every other American citizen. 

You've probably seen this Australian Equality promo before, but I think it's worth repeating:

*Yes, I went there. You hate me? I hate you. Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Thing Every One Has Seen This Week

Most LGBTQ bloggers have been reporting and commenting for several hours since SCOTUS' rulings on DOMA and Proposition 8. And yes, I am thrilled - No - beyond thrilled by today's rulings. We're one step closer to joining the 21st Century and the rest of the countries already there. But unlike most bloggers, I've all had all day to ponder and digest amidst the celebrating. 

Now, I know I've mentioned Alvin Toffler and his 1970 book "Future Shock" and the subsequent 1972 documentary (narrated by Orson Welles) based on it. I was 13 years old when I (along with all my classmates) was shown Future Shock in our Health Studies class (taught begrudgingly by our Phys Ed teachers). The premise is that technology is moving so fast, humans can't keep up and will eventually suffer from Information Overload (a term Toffler created, by the way) and civilization as we know it will break down into chaos. Of course, humans invent and create technology, which makes the concept absurd. 

Anyway... as part of the 'collapse of society' section of the movie, there was a scene where two men get married in a church. My classmates all giggled and hooted. I did, too. I mean, I knew I was gay by then, but the idea seemed silly. That of course, was part of the shame I was feeling about who I was, but I as 13. Who isn't ashamed of themselves for something at 13? I spent an inordinate amount of time being ashamed... as do many of us. Then, with some help, I stopped being ashamed and found out I really had no reason to be. And once I stopped, it seemed like the whole world changed. And just kept on changing.

Flash-forward several decades and I'm on the board of an organization that raises funds for people afflicted by HIV/AIDS & Arts Education; Anti-Bullying and Suicide Prevention charities. I am out to everyone at the Day Job (without having had to out myself and no one caring) and I write openly here and on Facebook about who I am and the things in which I believe (and don't believe) and I don't care who has a problem with it. I have yet to lose a real-life or Facebook friend over any of my opinions or beliefs and if I did, they weren't my friends in the first place and good riddance to bad rubbish.

I have been very clear about stance on Marriage Equality from the beginning and today feels like... well, it feels like I may actually see the day when my friends and I (and those who will come after) can never again be made to feel (in the words of Dustin Lance Black) "Less than." Make no mistake, this is the beginning of the end of one of the last Civil Rights movements in the U.S. I will be so happy to say "Goodbye" to Bryan Fischer; Brian Brown; Maggie Gallagher; Pat Robertson, at al when they die and fade into obscurity, their over-stayed 15 minutes reduced to a very brief footnote: "These idiots were wrong and they lost."

But we can't get overly excited, just yet...

There is still ignorance, bigotry and hate. Crimes against gay men in Manhattan in the past few weeks alone have been more than alarming and crime against trans people continues to rise. We have a long way to go. I said I couldn't wait to say goodbye, because those idiots aren't going away or shutting up anytime soon. They'll be at until they croak, even when they're only left listening to one another.  The churches will still lie and cover-up their bigotry. I won't be around to see it, but they will lose all relevance, too.

Rational Secular Humanism is on the rise and while superstition still rules much of the east, reason reigns in the world's civilized countries (at least, I hope it does - it sure seems like it does, anyway). There are still bullies and families that ostracize their gay kids and preachers who want to exorcise the gay demons. There are still men and women in positions of power (ecumenical; secular; educational & governmental) who believe that I have made a conscious choice to disobey the natural order; that I am unnatural. I am evil, simply because I am attracted to other men. To these people, regardless of what the 5 have said today is true and fair, will always think of me as "Less Than." And not that I care what those people think. Hardly. I know they are wrong. Still, it makes me sad when fear repels truth.

Of course, still not having found "The One" (in fact, I'm beginning to doubt the existence of "The One"), it's unlikely that today's rulings will ever really have an impact on me, personally. At Uncle P's age, the odds are not in one's favor. Of course, I keep trying. I've had both wonderful and awful experiences (T comes to mind as the most recent of the latter - and no, no details on any of that, thanks), but I keep hoping. And that's what today is really about. Hope for the future. Hope for a time when superstition and fear are eradicated, like the diseases they are.

I know... such a downer for such a great day, right? Well, here are some things about today that made me smile and cry in good ways:

Weeping again...



Go, Nancy! Go, Nancy! It's your birthday! Go, Nancy!

Thank you, Mr. President!

In my lifetime I've witnessed a lot of history. The Moonlanding. Kent State. Nixon Resigning. The Iran Hostages. The Fall of the Berlin Wall. Operation Desert Storm. 9/11. Operation Iraqi Freedom. AIDS; Avian Flu; SARS; MRSA; E-bola; Anita Bryant; Leonard Malkovitch; Harvey Milk; Computers; The Internet; Daniel Choi; Ellen Degeneres; Lance Bass; Ricky Martin. 

Today, though.... Today was a day I honestly thought I'd never live to see. Today I witnessed justice and the upholding of the self-evident truth that "All men are (indeed) created equal..." Today was a ginormous step in the right direction, for all the right reasons. Today was just as historic as each and every one of the events I've cited, all of which continue to lead towards the ideals of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" so wisely envisioned by the framers of the Constitution. When the Tea Party is joke gotten only by historians and a POTUS and his First Husband live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I won't be here to gloat at the haters, so I'm doing so in advance. 

Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!

Suck it, haters! (Even though you know you've secretly longed to do just that, anyway). Read a book by a reputable author, losers. I mean, if prayer worked, don't you think you might have won? Nope. If there is a 'god,' She hates you for hating me. But don't worry... it's a dry heat.

Stay strong, stay truthful and stay visible. Never stop fighting the bullies, folks. You will always win.

More, anon.

Brian