I've Always Suspected as Much

It's Girl Scout Cookie Season. Uncle P's downfall are the Peanut Butter Sandwiches. I don't care for the multi-flavored Samoas or the gag-inducing Thin Mints (typing those words was a major hurdle for me - mint and chocolate should NEVER be paired together. The very thought of Andes Candies or York Peppermint Patties can actually send me into a paroxysm of dry-heaving). You honestly have no idea how long I had to hold my breath to link to pictures of those disgustingly sweet confections.

I ran some errands today and was confronted by a table of Girl Scout Cookies manned by the most adorable moppets I have ever seen, set up in front of my local liquor store. I broke down and bought a box of my favorites and a box of Shortbreads for my mother. Of course, each year the box and the cookies get smaller while the price goes up. I can't really fault the GSA for this. Unlike the BSA, the GSA has proven to be an inclusive and welcoming group, allowing female-identifying boys to join and having no policy which excludes LGBT members or leaders. While cookie sales far outweigh membership dues in funding the GSA, they only make about 40 cents per box, just about ten percent. That seems both unfair and exploitative to me.

But this post isn't about the GSA. No. It's about a far more-insidious girl-centric topic: Unicorns. I get it. I think. Girls love ponies, horses and unicorns. I'm not sure what they fully represent or mean to them, not being a girl, myself. I imagine most girls think of unicorns like this:

Tom Cruise was so pretty before he lost his mind, no?

Anyway, I have come to suspect that unicorns aren't really quite as magical and beautiful as girls think they are, especially given this bizarre YouTube series featuring a rather jaded unicorn named Charlie:

But I fear the truth is far more insidious.Via comes this extremely disturbing (yet somehow hilarious) video about the true nature of the Lisa Frank staple (language may be NSFW):

I knew it! Unicorns are merely the tools of homophobic Nazis and gay-bashing, gun-loving nutjobs  who think the Gov'mint is out to git 'em by suppressing their rights to own assault weapons which serve to enhance their ridiculously small penises. It all makes so much sense now!

More, anon.

Prospero

"Mad Max" IRL?

While the world almost certainly isn't coming to an end in two days, it certainly seems as though we're edging closer to it with every passing moment, especially in light of recent events.

There is no denying that man is a violent animal, who all too easily allows the reptilian brain to take over, for all sorts of reasons. Truthfully, people are born monsters. Tiny, squalling, red-faced balls of Id, human babies don't care about anything but their own needs. And that's as it should be. But Homo-sapiens' larger brain eventually allows us to control those urges and to put others' needs ahead of our own (though 'self' is always first and foremost when it comes down to it). We learn compassion and empathy; manners and respect; the difference between right and wrong. We can apply everything we've ever learned about what it means to be a good person as much as we want, but there will always be that lizard in the back of our skulls, ready to pounce at the oddest of provocations. 

"Road Rage" has long been a term here in the U.S. though it has proven to be not just an American problem. We've all seen plenty of those Russian traffic videos. And now it seems that the folks from Oz have caught on, as evidenced by the video I am about to share with you.

Australian Tabloid News program "Today Tonight" (via) brings us this story of of an Australian road rage victim who was terrorized by a madman, but caught the whole thing on video. The next 8 minutes of footage are among the most frightening I've ever seen:

Yikes! So how long do you think it's going to be before that devolves into this:

And don't give me that "Violent movies and TV shows are to blame" BS! They make violent movies and TV shows because it's what people want to see. We're no better than Romans at the Coliseum. We love carnage and mayhem. Rubbernecking at an accident is far more of a traffic maker than the accident itself. Real-life tragedy is exploited for ratings. Meanwhile, 20 children are gone forever and we're still arguing about gun control and mental health? Of course, we can thank The Great Communicator for closing so many mental hospitals in the 1980's, rather than giving them money for the overhauls most of them so desperately needed, thereby forcing so many mentally ill people onto the streets and denying much-needed care for all those to come after. But I digress...

It's that caveman brain... the one we try to suppress with all our might... the one that sometimes gets off its leash and does inexplicably horrific things. It's the lizard brain that reacts to fear. Fear of death; fear of the unknown; fear of people different from themselves. Fear and hatred are learned. And yes, some fears are good - they keep us alive. Others... well, they make us attack and beat down and kill other people. As much as things seem to get better in so many ways, I see things like this and worry that the lizards aren't going anywhere, soon. I also worry that they seem to be gaining speed. I just hope I'm not around to see it all go to hell... because you know it will. If you're reading this in the future, I'm sorry. Some of us tried to fix it...

BTW - If I were writing this piece 20 years ago, it would have been Mel in the picture above. He was so hot in those movies (and more than a few others). Of course, that was before I knew he was an anti-Semitic, homophobic, misogynistic douchebag.

As you can tell, my Holiday Spirit is still fighting to get out...

More, anon.
Prospero

A Broken Nation

I had to spend some time looking at funny stuff before I could even entertain writing about the events of this morning. It's beyond the pale... incomprehensible; ghastly; horrific; senseless... the list goes on but there truly is no one word to describe the grief, pain and suffering in a town that might as well be Bedford Falls. 

Newtown is in southwestern Connecticut, just northeast of Dansbury. Filled with Colonial estates and modern McMansions, Newtown is the epitome of the American Dream, much like the place of the same name where I spend my days. It's not the kind of place where really bad things happen. At least not outside of closed doors. It might as well be called Pleasantville. Until today.

Today a monster killed 20 children and 6 adults, including his mother and himself. I'm calling this obviously insane person "No," because rather than becoming famous for the atrocities he committed this morning, his name should be stricken from the record. What worse fate can anyone suffer than to have any and all acknowledgement of one's existence erased forever? The cold-blooded son-of-a-bitch mowed down 20 children with an automatic weapon. Somehow, No slipped through the cracks of the mental health system and got himself some guns (legally purchased under his mother's license) and finally broke. As if of this writing, no one knows why No did what he did. Matricide is the act of a particularly disturbed individual to begin with. No shot his mother in the face, an exceptionally personal and brutal way to kill. No then went the place of his mother's employment and... well, did what he did.

I know I talked about the discussion my friend James and I had about guns after this summer's shooting in Colorado. That discussion continued among James and several other of my friends on Facebook toady in response to my original post:

"I can't imagine the grief and horror going on in CT right now. I wonder how the NRA lobbyists are going to spin this one? My heart goes out to the victims and their families... so tragic." 26 comments later, my 'Final final word' was: "Go tell the people you love that you love them. There is no warranty on life."

Here's the thing: No one wants to take away guns from responsible hunters and target shooters. No one wants to take pistols away from properly trained homeowners who want to protect themselves. What we want is for it to be harder for people like No to own guns. What we want is for it to be harder for gang kids to get guns. What we want is the chance for a 6 year old to grow up and live to his or her full potential. What we want is to be able to go to the mall or the movies or a political fundraiser without of fear of being shot. What we want are mental health professionals who will speak up when they feel a client may be dangerous. In 2011, 8 people were killed with guns in Great Britain. 10,728 were killed with guns in the U.S. Despite the difference in populations, those numbers are terrifying.

Of course, today's events aren't the only thing that prove our nation is broken. We're still fighting two costly wars; the economy is just coming back, though the much talked-about "fiscal cliff" could drive us back into recession. The extreme right continues to fight progress every step of the way, despite recent election results. The Tea Party may well be the worst thing to happen to American Democracy since the Civil War. Racism and homophobia continue to thrive in what is supposed to be the most advanced nation in the world. Corporations are legally recognized as 'people.' Does that mean if there's a hostile takeover, the aggressor can be charged with murder? Doubt that.

Speaking of the recent elections, I don't remember a more divisive Presidential race in my lifetime. Or an uglier one. Of course, several good things other than the re-election of President Obama happened in November. Four states approved Marriage Equality by voter majority and two states legalized recreational marijuana for personal use. Mr. Obama has said he has "bigger fish to fry" than pursuing antiquated laws left over from the Nixon administration. Too bad that greedy corporate goons drove Hostess out of business. Stoners in Colorado and Washington better learn to like Little Debbie and Tastykake (if they can get them). Oh, did I mention that one of the SCOTUS judges (whose son used to 'minister' to an "Ex-Gay" organization) openly flaunted his homophobia today? And just in case you forgot, Snooki made more money last week than you made all year. Donald Trump pays more for the stylist that does his ridiculous comb-over than you spend on groceries for a week (of course, that stylist may well be responsible for Mr. Trump's obvious brain damage). So many things broken...

How do we repair what's broken? I'm not sure. I have hope, though. I try to take solace in the fact that there truly are FAR more many good people in the world, than bad. Here's a video to prove it:

You should be good because it's the right thing to do, not because someone threatened you with eternal damnation if you didn't. Fear should never be anyone's motivation to do what's right. So, at the risk of repeating myself: Go tell the people you love that you love them, as often as possible. There are no warranties for our often surprisingly fragile lives.

You should also learn to take joy in your life and laugh as often as possible. I couldn't end such a dour downer of a post end on a such a somber note so please enjoy a bit of nonsense:

More, anon.

Prospero

More, anon.

Prospero

After a Day's Distance

I didn't want to talk about this yesterday, because I was too angry. I needed time to process what had happened for the second time in three weeks. I found that image to your left on Facebook today. Googling Mr. Parsons yielded no results as to the veracity of the quote. It doesn't matter, because the words themselves are true.

When we think of "terrorist," bin Laden will always come to mind. Except in Oklahoma, where they picture a young, Caucasian American male (whose name does not deserve mention). And now the people of Wisconsin will picture a skin-headed, jingoistic racist scumbag who entered a place a worship - the one place outside the home in which everyone (even atheists) should feel safe - and just started taking out the 'Others.' It is beyond sad. It is beyond sick. It is beyond comprehension.

The system failed everyone here; the shooter, included. Deemed fit for trial or not, these people are obviously not in their right minds. Something happened. Someone or something was the proverbial straw that broke these people. And there was no one there for them to stop it. The system is broken, all around. It's not just a gun issue. A friend from way back is a gun owner, and that's fine. He's stable and responsible and if the zombies come, I'm going to his house, first. He blames the mental health system, which surely has a hand in it. There's also a lot of fear and apathy out there - no one wants to get involved; no one has time to take a closer look; no one wants to get someone in trouble...

All we have is each other, folks. And whether you are religious or not, our only real job here is to be kind to and watch out for one another. It's not all that hard to understand, is it? Sadly, a lot of people don't.

More, anon.
Prospero

Perverting the 2nd Amendment

Does Anyone Really Need a Hello Kitty Assault Rifle?

So, some 230-odd years ago, the framers of the U.S. Constitution added an amendment that allowed U.S. citizens the right to bear arms. All well and good, when those arms were single-shot muskets and hand-loaded pistols that required powder and lead pellets. They had no idea that one day we would have rapid-fire guns capable of shooting dozens, if not hundreds, of rounds of ammunition in the blink of an eye. 

The NRA and the gun lobbyists both extol and hide behind the Second Amendment as an excuse for gun manufacturers to grow rich on the blood of innocent people. Guns, rifles and assault weapons kill thousands of Americans each year. Children in inner-city neighborhoods are more than three times as likely to be shot in cross-fire incidents. African American youths are shooting one another in record numbers. Philadelphia and Chicago are currently experiencing their highest gun-related murders in their history. It makes me sick to think about it.

James Holmes legally bought four assault weapons and 15 pounds of ammunition, which he used to injure and/or kill 71 innocent people who were out for what they thought was an evening's entertainment. There are those who say "Well, if he didn't have the guns, he would have made bombs and killed even more people." Maybe. But he did have guns. And easy access to them. And even easier access to ammunition. All purchased legally. What the hell?

Now, I'm not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to own firearms. There are plenty of hunters and target shooters who don't go around killing people. And most hunters and target shooters don't use rapid-fire automatic weapons. But maybe - just maybe - if was a little more difficult to obtain such weapons, there might be fewer murders, attacks and cross-fire shootings. And while I won't go into the whole Freudian concept of guns as penis-extensions, I do have to surmise that the ease with which Americans can purchase guns certainly adds to the number of gun-related murders. Honestly, who needs an AK-47 to take down a deer? Where's the 'sport' in that? Of course, there are those who think they need to own a gun in order to protect themselves from criminals. Possibly. But statistically, those folks are more likely to have their own weapons used against them in an assault.

Here's the thing: If we make it harder for criminals and lunatics to own guns, we just might be able to decrease the number of gun-related murders. Write to your representatives. Tell them to ban assault weapons for non-military personnel. Tell them to make it more difficult to own a gun and ask them to provide tougher penalties for those who use guns while committing a crime. This madness has to be stopped. 

More, anon.
Prospero