The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

SNL is one of those shows that can be brilliantly funny or uncomfortably stupid. It's always been that way, even during the so-called "golden age" of the late 70's. 

I must admit that through all the good and bad of SNL over the last 4 decades, I'm still a fan. From "Jane, you ignorant slut" to Ed Grimley and from "Mango" to "Two A-holes," SNL is still the only live comedy show on TV. They may be hit-or-miss, but they've always been that way. And I have to be honest, when writers Robert Smigel and Stephen Colbert first introduced The Ambiguously Gay Duo, I wasn't sure whether to be insulted or amused. But the whole thing was just so damned funny, I had to admit I wasn't insulted.

This past Saturday's show was hosted by Ed Helms, of NBC's "The Office" and The Hangover films. The show was once again hit-or-miss (mostly misses this time out, I'm afraid). But Smigel's first AGD cartoon in a long time took a hilarious turn and, thanks to a "Flesh Ray," became a live-action bit starring Jon Hamm; Jimmy Fallon; Stephen Colbert; Steve Carrell; Fred Armisen and Helms in one of SNL's funniest bits in a long time:

Honestly, if we can't laugh at ourselves, those assholes in the Tea Party will laugh at us, anyway...

More, anon.
Prospero

The End of Another Era

My parents hadn't even met when the then Soviet Union launched Sputnik 1, the first man-made satellite in October of 1957. The launch stunned and scared Americans, especially when it was revealed the Sputnik launch system was specifically designed to carry nuclear warheads. The launch sparked a Cold War Space Race, which was finally 'won' (in the broadest sense of the word) in July of 1969 when Apollo 11 landed safely on the Moon and Neil Armstrong uttered those now famous (though later learned to be scripted) words: "That's one small step for man... one giant leap for mankind." I had just turned 8 only a few days before (yeah, OK - do the math) and was so excited to watch those grainy images on our console TV. The Universe seemed to hold so much promise...

This coming Monday (barring any problems), the last major US space launch is scheduled to take the Space Shuttle Endeavour ([pictured, right) on its final mission. It is also the final Space Shuttle mission, ever. NASA is retiring the last Shuttle in the fleet after this mission, with no immediate plans for space exploration in the foreseeable future. This saddens me more than you can imagine.

As a fan of Science Fiction for almost as long as I can remember, the end of manned US space exploration leaves me cold. As our own planet's resources dwindle along with the Polar caps, it seems to me more important than ever to push exploration outside our own solar system in search of a planet that could sustain human life. As wrong as some novels and movies have predicted the 21st Century, others have predicted an even more dire 22nd and 23rd Centuries. And it's not that I expect to be around to see any of those potentially dreadful futures, or that I'll have any direct descendants who will, either. But as someone who considers himself a true Secular Humanist, I worry that Humanity itself is in danger of extinction, unless we find somewhere else to go.

Maybe I watched too many Gene Roddenberry shows as a kid. Or maybe I actually believe that someday, we can all agree that the preservation of the Human Race should outweigh the differences we may perceive about one another. I've always been a firm believer that Art and Science are what mark us as superior beings. I just hope we get the chance to prove that. Or maybe I'm just a crazy Pollyanna who thinks we actually deserve to survive as a race. Seeing what we've done to our own planet, I also worry about what we might do to others. Or maybe, just maybe, we'll have learned from our mistakes by then.

More, anon.
Prospero

Bert May Be Evil, but Michael's a Moore-on

Way back in 1998, the website Bert is Evil sprung up, featuring Bert from Sesame Street PhotoShopped into various photos of evil people and events, like the one on your left. 

Bert, by the way, is a felt and foam rubber puppet and is not actually evil. But the man in the photo with him was. I'm sure there's no need to get into the details, we all know them. And we all know what happened two weeks ago, when US Navy SEALS raided bin Laden's compound in northern Pakistan.

When news of the 9/11 attacks reached the Middle East, radical Islamists took to the streets in celebration, hailing bin Laden and rejoicing in the deaths of 3000 of their fellow human beings. The attacks prompted two wars which have cost billions of dollars and over 4000 more American lives. 

Is it any wonder that not long after President Obama announced bin Laden's death, that Americans also took to the streets in celebration?

To be perfectly honest, I was conflicted. On one hand, I was very happy to hear that one of the world's most evil men no longer existed. On the other, I thought the celebration made us look just as bad as the Muslims who celebrated on that awful day in September of 2001. 

In 2004, documentarian Michael Moore released Fahrenheit 9/11, an expose on how George W. Bush supposedly used the events if 9/11/01 to mount unwarranted attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq, wars that have been taking American lives for almost 10 years now. 

Moore pointed out the Bush family's oil-interests and relationships with Middle Eastern potentates; claimed that important Arabs were flown out of the US just before the attacks and that W knew well in advance but did nothing, hoping to start a war that would eventually drive up the price of oil and ensure profits for the Bush family and their cronies. I have no doubt that much of that is true. I also have no doubt that Bush used his brother to steal the election in 2000, but that's not what I'm talking about tonight.

Moore recently published his "final thoughts" on the death of bin Laden, and I have to take exception to some of what he has written, as much as it may pain this 'dyed in the wool' liberal Democrat to say so. 

Moore started his post by quoting himself:

"The Nazis killed tens of MILLIONS. They got a trial. Why? Because we're not like them. We're Americans. We roll different." – Michael Moore in an interview last week

Really? First of all, Moore's hyperbolic numbers are just plain wrong. Tens of Millions? 6 million wasn't enough for him? He had to make it 20 Million plus? I'm not trying to diminish or dismiss the horrors of the Holocaust, here. 6 million dead is pretty damned awful. But does anyone really want to make Hitler's genocide worse than it was? Apparently, Moore does. 

He then goes on to talk about how he went to Ground Zero the night bin Laden was killed, and was appalled by the "frat-boy" atmosphere he found there. Really? After everything that's happened since 9/11, this is the thing that upsets him? The ridiculous rules imposed by TSA; the torture of Guantanamo Bay prisoners; the lack of WMDs in Iraq; the loss of 4000+ U.S. Military lives; the outrageous cost of waging 2 pointless wars; ginormous Big Oil profits; our loss of privacy and the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, and Moore is upset that people are celebrating the death of American Public Enemy #1? Get over yourself, already.

Here's the thing: Fueled by the hatred of Islamic extremists who burn our flags in the streets, burn our presidents in effigy and claim America is "the Great Satan," is it any wonder that Americans celebrated the way they did? Yes, times are different. But Germans didn't take to the streets of Berlin, burning the Union Jack during the blitzkrieg or declare Poland "the Great Satan" when they invaded, unlike the extremists who took to the streets on 9/11, burning the Stars and Stripes and chanting "Death to USA!"

So I must ask Mr. Moore who are the losers here? Americans rejoicing at the death of a monster who sought to destroy our country and ultimately deprive Moore of the freedom to make the kinds of documentaries the U.S. Constitution allows him to make? Or the fanatics who corrupt their own religion to justify the murder of thousands of innocents?

I'm not trying to take any sides here... I'll just quietly rejoice that an evil man has been eradicated and hope that cooler heads will prevail in the months to come. Would I have liked to see bin Laden tried? Sure. But I'm just as happy to know he's dead.

Even after all that's come to pass since 9/11/01, I will not and cannot deny the rights of Americans to celebrate as they seem fit to do. Honestly, how is this all that different from this?

More, anon.

Prospero

Happy Friday the 13th!

"Kill, kill, kill, kill... Blood, blood, blood, blood..." Hope you stayed away from ladders, black cats and broken mirrors today! I thought I stepped on a crack, but my mother's back remains intact...

Blogger was shut down for updates all day yesterday, so I (and all the other Blogger users) didn't get to post but I have a doozy lined up for tomorrow...

More, anon.
Prospero

It Just Got Gayer

Look at that adorable young boy in the purple fur hat and sequined jacket. If you haven't seen it by now, CNN is circulating a clip from the game show 'To Tell the Truth,' featuring a certain gorgeous CNN anchor at age 9, pretending to be the World's Youngest Professional Bear Trainer for Circus Vargas. If you haven't seen the Silver Siren's TV debut, you can do so, below. The QT got more votes than the real kid. And can you blame the panel? Are all the Vanderbilts this adorable? Some one who has PhotoShop needs to put the purple hat on present-day Anderson. I mean, the white hair is entirely part of Coop's charm, but the purple with those blue eyes... sigh... Here's the clip (via):

Not to be outdone, The Daily Show's John Stewart had another hilarious and insightful LGBT story last night. Attacking homophobia from all sides, while earning every giggle he could wring out of the bit, Stewart once again proves that walking the line on the side of right can be very funny. Especially when the opposing side is made up of  idiots. Also via, here's the clip:

The Daily Show - We're Here, We're Queer, Get Newsed to It
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Unfortunately, there will always be ignorant, fearful bigots. If they haven't gone away by the 21st Century, they're not going away any time, soon. Hell, we can't get rid of the White Supremacists and Neo-Nazis. We're supposed to get them to accept anything other than straight WASPs?  Happily, their numbers are dwindling.  The changes in attitude towards gay people in my lifetime are simply astonishing to me. But we still have  along way to go. And while I'd like  to see full equality in America in my lifetime, I don't have the highest of hopes of ding so. Thankfully, the next generation seems to get it. 

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week (NSFW Version)

John Stewart served me many drinks in the early 80's. He was a bartender at a local progressive dance club in Trenton, NJ. City Gardens was a dump - a converted warehouse, it had a stage and a dance floor with tables, bleachers and a large bar in the front room and more tables, booths and smaller bar in the back.  There were holes in the floors and heaven help you if you had to use the toilet for anything couldn't be done while standing.

I heard every great alternative dance song of the era at City Gardens on 90 Cents Thursdays - 90 cents to get in and 90 cent well drinks. The place was usually packed with an assortment of punks and new wavers and downright weirdos. People watching was half the fun. My friends and I would drink all night (the drinks were watered, of course), but dance so much we never felt it. I also saw some of the 80's biggest names in alternative music there: Sinead O'Connor (in an amazing performance on her first trip to America to promote her first album); Devo (ask me about Q and the vampires some day); The Ramones and The Dead Kennedys, among others. Man, I wish had half the energy now that I had back then...

"And just how is any of that gay?" you may well  ask yourself. Well, it was the 80's... there was a lot of that going around.  But everyone was terrified to have sex (don't worry, we got over it). And now that Stewart is a star and host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central, he knows how important it is for middle America to show some love our way. Stewart is and always has been pro equality. But the smirking little scamp can't help himself sometimes, and its his job to point out the silly and absurd, sniggering all the way to the bank (and deservedly so). Thankfully, Stewart and his writers are never really mean to the folks they're poking fun at. And that's why I love this possibly NSFW clip from the other night (via):

The Daily Show is clearly comedy with a liberal slant, but they're equal opportunity offenders and no group goes unjabbed. Of course, they jab some more than others,  also deservedly so. I wish I got to see it more often but I would need a 28 hour day, and 24 is enough...

More, anon.
Prospero

DVD Review: "Blood Creek"

While we had every intention of seeing Thor this past weekend, D and I postponed seeing because a mutual friend was 'unavailable.' Rather than give up spending time together, we decided to spend the evening in with another friend Ritchie, watching films from D's truly vast collection. We watched one movie none of us had seen, and another which only D and myself had seen.

The one none of us had seen was Joel "Batsuit Nipples" Schumacher's 2009 Nazi Sorcerer/Zombie/Vampire/Torture Porn mash-up from writer David Kajganich (The Invasion - pee-yew! - and the scheduled remake of Pet Sematary), Blood Creek. Uncle P has been reading plenty of good and bad things about this movie for a while, and I have to concur. There is plenty of good and bad about it.

The first 15 minutes or so are set in 1936, and filmed in black and white. We meet the Wollners, German immigrants who have settled into farm life in rural West Virginia. Despite Mama's reservations, Papa Wollner jumps at the chance to house a Third Reich scholar (Michael Fassbinder) in exchange for as many marks as the Fuhrer will pay. The guest -- Herr Wirth -- is creepy, to say the least, able to whisper a few ancient syllables in order to bring a bird back to life...

Quickly jumping forward to the present, we meet Evan Marshall (Superman in pre-production, Henry Cavill). Evan's war-hero bother Victor ("Prison Break" alum Dominic Purcell) has been missing for the past two years. Evan's aging father blames him for Victor's disappearance and Evan's guilt is eating him alive. But one night, Victor - filthy, ragged and unshaven - appears in Evan's bedroom, appealing for his help, but warning him that "what happens will change everything, forever." Filial love endures and as Victor showers and shaves, Evan prepares guns, ammo and a boat. Victor leads Evan to the last place he was seen and they set off downstream to a remote compound -- the Wollner farm. Turns out, the barn's foundation was made using a Norwegian rune stone from which Wirth draws power which renders him and the Wollners immortal. Apparently, this is accomplished through ritual blood-letting, explaining the disappearances of several young men in the region over the years. Victor's path for vengeance fuels the slim, but original premise. 

The biggest problem with Blood Creek is that it doesn't really know what kind of movie it wants to be. Is Wirth a zombie, a sorcerer or a vampire? Or all three? Or something else altogether? We're never sure, because the movie never takes the time to tell us. Borrowing from a hundred genre movies including the Indiana Jones trilogy; Sleepy Hollow; The Keep; The Village and any number of better or worse movies, Blood Creek is one of those rare movies that suffers from over-thinking, rather than under-thinking. If nothing else, I must admire Schumacher, who at age 70 has made an almost original Horror movie that almost succeeds as much it fails. He may have put nipples on the Batsuit, but Schumacher remains unafraid to take cinematic chances:

Entertaining, but ultimately silly (we were shouting out MST3K lines well before the halfway mark), Blood Creek at least features some eye-candy from both Purcell and Cavill, though I must admit that I'm not still sold on the young Brit as Kal-El, just yet. It seems to me that everyone involved just tried too hard and the result ended up being somewhere in-between Warlock, Ded Sno and Hostel.  Sadly, Schumacher hides his most talented actor under CGI vestments and bad makeup FX, while ignoring sensible plot points and coherent motivations.  *(One out of Four Stars)

After that, we watched Tobe Hooper's celluloid version of my worst nightmare, The Texas ChainsawMassacre 2, starring Dennis Hopper. Ritchie spent much of this film with her face buried in her arms, which pleased D and I to no end. Sadistic, ain't we?

More, anon.
Prospero