Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Bitchiest Nonsense You'll See This Week or: When Local Goes National

Carol Erickson and Her Dogs
While I've lived here and there from time to time, I've spent the majority of my life as a suburbanite in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. My local news has always been one of the major three Philadelphia affiliates, though for longest time I've been partial to our local NBC news. Because it is two hours of repetition between 4 and 6 PM, I know I can drop in at almost any time for half an hour and see everything I need to. It's news for the Information Age. 

When I was a kid, the local ABC affiliate was the news to watch. The stalwart channel loves it's stars and ancient anchor Jim Gardner (whose been at it since the 70's) is still chugging away at a dusty old station which somehow seems to have lost touch with the 21st Century. Most of the reporters on Action News have been there for at least 25 years and only seem to be replaced when they retire or die. The "Murder She Wrote" and "Matlock" crowd watch this broadcast.

Then there's the local CBS station. A decent station with
Nicole Brewer
a combination of both older, more experienced staffers and younger up-and-comings. It's my second choice. 

Before I go on, I have to tell you that sometime in the late 90's, the Philadelphia NBC and CBS channels switched affiliations. I don't know if that's ever happened in any other market, but it happened here and it resulted in some confusion for the first few months. What didn't change at the time, were the news teams. Now, for those of you who weren't alive, there was an up and coming newswoman in the 70's named Jessica Savitch. Savitch worked for the (then) local NBC affiliate in the 70's and went on to be the NBC Network weekend anchor. Many thought she was on track to become a major star; possibly the first Female Network anchor, even. Sadly, Savitch died after the car she was riding in crashed into the Delaware Canal near New Hope, PA in 1983. The story went national. It was even the basis for the film Up Close and Personal, with Michelle Pfieffer and Robert Redford.

Flash-forward to 2008. The station is now a CBS affiliate. Anchor Larry Mendte is accused of hacking into former co-anchor Alycia Lane's email account 537 times! The resulting scandal costs Mendte his job. He pleaded guilty to felony hacking charges and admitted to having an "improper relationship" with Lane. The story went national.

This time, it's a mere 5 years between viral stories for this beleaguered news team. Veteran meteorologist Carol Erickson (who's been with this station since the 80's) and morning anchor (and former pageant queen) Nicole Brewer are the subject of speculation that they despise one another and have been openly displaying their venomous relationship on air (via):

Okay - the tragic death of an up-and-comer? Yes, that's ceratinly worthy of national attention. A sex scandal involving email hacking? A little tabloid-y, but yes. Worth noting for the tech element, I guess. A verbal bitch slapping contest between an established Queen Bee and a pert-breasted pretender to the throne? Bitch, please. Is this what TMZ and 'The Jersey Shore' have reduced us to? If I believed in a god, I wouldn't blame him for smiting us.

Nonetheless, I am all over Carol in this. Give up, Nicole. You aren't worthy of attempting awful banter and terrible puns with a woman who has been in the business since before you were a snot-nosed toddler, crying for your Mommy. Learn your place, gurl. In 25 years, if you're lucky, the shoe will be on the other foot and all the plastic surgery in the world won't hide the vain, empty shell beyond those pretty little eyes!

The new fridge is here (it's a Frigidaire) and working! The food and condiments I managed to save are all in it, though it is slightly (.2 CF) larger than the Fridge of Despair and looks very empty. The freezer has already managed two batches of cubes since 2 PM and all is right with the world once again.

More, anon.

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