Food, Glorious Food?

Yes, It's Real!

Yes, that is a slice of scorpion pizza, which is supposedly for sale at the Calgary Stampede this summer. Fans of cable celebrities Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown have long seen scorpions and tarantulas offered up as street food snacks in Asian and South American countries. There are protein bars on the market made from cricket flour, while insects and arachnids are staples in many non-Western diets. I had chocolate-covered ants, once. It was like a Nestle Crisp bar. And I really don't mind the idea of cricket flour, as long as I don't feel legs and antennae in my mouth. That's the biggest problem I have with this pizza. I can only imagine it's like biting into an unshelled shrimp. UGH! I'd rather eat anchovies. And I LOATHE anchovies.* That very comment led to a discussion of fish (naturally) with a Facebook friend. Like myself, Pam doesn't eat much fish. 

For Uncle P, it's cod; flounder; shrimp; crab (in crab-cakes only), scallops and clams (fried only - which means I haven't had clams in forever); tuna, though NEVER hot! Nothing salty, slimy or fishy. Nothing unborn or unhatched and NEVER anything that has tentacles or is an eel of any kind. All seafood MUST be fully cooked, ONLY. Don't give me raw tuna and charge me $30 for a 'steak.' That's like paying for the flu. I will always prefer battered and fried, but have learned to like some things grilled and others broiled. If I MUST eat clam chowder, it's Manhattan style (I NEVER eat any kind of chowder). Oh, and I do like conch fritters with a nice remoulade or papaya chutney with a side of deep-fried dill pickle chips.

Last weekend, Uncle P and his regular band of foodies got together for yet another of our themed dinner parties. Thankfully, the theme was NOT 'Seafood.' It was, however, another particularly successful meal. Breakfast for Dinner included gigantic, fluffy waffles; sausage meatballs; bagels; a supper-yummy hash-brown casserole; citrus scones; clotted cream and assorted jams, preserves and syrups all topped of with pineapple/orange Mimosas. I haven't found a name for that particular combination, so if you think of a good one before I do, I'll give you full credit. My dish was a variation of a recipe I found on Facebook: a breakfast ring of eggs, cheese, veggies and pastry, served with salsa. The photo below does not include the final layer of cheese on the top. And no, it is NOT burnt on the right. My lame kitchen lighting makes everything look darker than it actually is. 

Uncle P's Breakfast Ring

On Tuesday, most of the first floor at the Day Job will be holding a Cinqo de Sies party (I know... ) and I was going crazy as to what to make. I needed something easy that didn't need heating. I found some pasta and beans and an interesting vinegar and decided to create a new recipe I call "Fiesta Salad." Too Corny? Too Martha? Too gay? I will say this: White Pineapple Vinaigrette. Yes, you read that correctly. I received it as part of a gift of several specialty vinegars from a local presser called "Olive n Grape." It seems to pair quite nicely with the peppers and green onions in the mix. If it's a hit, I'll share the recipe. If it flops, we shall never speak of this again.I think it's yummy, even if I undercooked the pasta by just a bit... More dressing will fix that, I hope... It has a while to marry.

I love to cook and love it when people like what I cook. I hate cooking for just myself. Tonight I tried a Parmesan-crusted chicken that was not bad but not what I'd hoped it would be. The brown rice and peas side-dish I made to go along with it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I ended up toasting half an egg bagel and spreading it with butter and an all fruit raspberry preserve with fiber. That seemed to do the trick. 

Of course, despite all these carb-loaded meals I seem to be having, I have lost 16 pounds since October, without trying. My appetite seems to have diminished quite a bit and I rarely find myself finishing everything on my plate (and I NEVER go back for seconds anymore). I'm not sure if that's anxiety or a manifestation of grief or something else altogether. I take supplements (my sister finally convinced me to include CO-Q-10) and try to eat plenty of fiber and protein, though I'll admit I should eat more vegetables. And it's not that I don't like them. I do. But the way many markets package produce (I'm looking at you, asparagus) makes it difficult to by some of them for just one person. Packaged salads and greens go bad before I can use all of them and loose versions of the same products end up being even more wasteful. Ask the dried-out asparagus and nasty Brussels sprouts I just threw away. And don't tell me to can and/or freeze them. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

*And my dear Q is allergic to them, so feh!

More, anon.
Prospero

A Day Late and a Dollar Short: An Oscars Post-Mortem

Nipple with a Z

I didn't get to the movies last year nearly as much as I wanted and usually do. A lot of that had to do with Mom's declining health and passing. Much of it had to do with the fact that there was very little to get excited about, this year. The only Best Picture nominee I saw was Gravity, and while it was the best movie Uncle P saw all year, that's not saying much. And honestly, I had little interest in seeing the other nominees. That's not saying they weren't excellent films, but I don't always want a life-lesson when I see a movie. I just want to be transported from reality for 90 to 120 minutes, forgetting about the problems of the real world for just a little while. Of course, the really great movies, IMHO, are the ones that can do both. Pan's Labyrinth springs to mind. I'm sure that 12 Years a Slave is a very good film. I just don't want to spend two hours watching another person suffer.

Of course, most people watching the Oscars feel the same way. It isn't about who or what wins or why. It's about the accompanying sideshow. Who wore or said or did what? What outrageous thing happened that's trending on Twitter. Travolta said what? Did Ellen just call Liza a tranny? Are Liza's nips really that huge? Did you see Kim Novak's face? Ellen ordered pizza? How wacky! 

And in what is both the funniest and saddest moment of this year's Overblown Ego-fest, Scientologist and alleged masseur molester John Travolta forever cemented his 'Oscars Fail' when he introduced Broadway star Idina Menzel as "Adele Dazeem." 

Is it any wonder poor Ms Menzel botched her performance of a song every little girl (and some big girls and boys) knows by heart after listening to the Frozen soundtrack for the 12,367th time? No pressure there, eh? Pink, however, managed to not only show up in a gorgeous red-sequined gown that was deliberately reminiscent of Dorothy's ruby slippers, but then fearlessly took on an iconic song which she managed to own! Brava!

Then there's the obsession with the celebrities' fashions. First, why didn't Lorna Luft tell her sister to wear a bra? Everyone else looked nice, I suppose. I wondered if Cate Blanchet's dress was designed by Tesla, though I thought Idina Menzel, Lupita Nyong'o and Camila Alves looked particularly stunning. Jared Leto's hair bothered some folks I know. I was just pleased that he finally acknowledged all the people living with and who have died from AIDS, unlike co-star Matthew McConaughey, who rambled on like the weirdo he appears to be. No one was surprised by Gravity grabbing all the technical awards, or by Frozen winning both awards for which it was nominated (I must admit. "Let It Go" has become a personal anthem, of late). 

Mostly, as for the past too many years, there wasn't a single surprise or upset. I didn't do a predictions post this year, but I should have. We all would have won our office pools had I done so. When the Oscars are that predictable, it's time to stop watching. 

Though there were a few things I liked:

Maybe I'm just too old and jaded to care anymore. As a life-long movie lover, that makes me kind of sad...

More, anon.

Prospero