Saturday, March 12, 2011

Invasion of the Bad Invasion Movies

That's ruggedly handsome Aaron Eckhardt in Battle: Los Angeles, which looks, despite a critical drubbing, to be the top-grosser this weekend.

Seriously, what's the deal with Aaron and his face? Is it in his contract that every fourth role has to include facial disfigurement?

I am saddened that the movie hasn't fared well with critics. I was hoping that after the flop made by last year's similarly themed Skyline that Battle: Los Angeles would be the movie that cleansed our palates, so to speak. 

Of course, Skyline  and Battle: Los Angeles aren't the only recent alien invasion movies to blow it. Most recently, Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig starred in a new version of Invasion of the Body Sntachers, simply titled The Invasion, which stank to high heaven:

And our old buddy M. Night gave us the almost good Signs, a movie with some terrific performances from both Joaquin Phoenix and (as much as it pains me to say it) Mel Gibson. While I have to admire Shyamalan for getting those performances out his actors, his script leaves much to be desired. Aliens can traverse millions of light years, but can't figure out doorknobs? And aliens who are easily killed by water, try to conquer a planet that is 90% water... ? Please...

Let's not forget everyone's favorite Vatican Assassin, Charlie Sheen as an astrophysicist in 1996's The Arrival, in which reversed-kneed aliens are trying to bio-engineer Earth to suit their own climate needs:

If you've seen an of these movies, then you know what I'm talking about.

So Uncle P got to thinking (always a dangerous thing), "What would make for a truly good alien invasion movie?" And I think I might have an idea... But I need your help. After talking about doing so for so long, I'm finally trying a poll. Now bear in mind: I am 2/3 of the way through a new zombie script on which I seem to have stalled (at least temporarily) and I have a bunch of ideas for other scripts on what I call The List. So I guess I'm asking, what should I work on next?


I look forward to the results.

More, anon.

1 comment:

D. Dave said...

Of all the things to comment upon, I have to focus on "Signs"!! I have -- as 'Little Alex' said -- 'suffered the tortures of the damned' for supporting "Signs" in the face of not only the movie itself, but the really misguided movies he's made since. As far as the aliens not understanding doorknobs? I found that conceit to be so wrong that it was right. So simple, they just couldn't conceptualize? That's all I can say. And the water? They apparently didn't have it where they came from, so they didn't know until someone threw a drink in their face that 'this wasn't the place', so to speak. Just found your blog and am enjoying it. Thanks!