Under Where? TGTYSW (NSFW Version)

Gay Underwear Designer, Andrew Christian

Wow, that's a lot of acronyms in one blog post title. Of course, NSFW is one we're all familiar with by now: Not Safe For Work. And if you read Caliban's Revenge with any regularity at all, you may have sussed out that TGTYSW = The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week. Field space makes for strange acronyms. And the video I am about to share is most certainly the gayest thing you'll probably see all year. The ridiculous pun goes back to an elementary school joke: "What are you eating under there?" 

Andrew Christian is well known for marketing his products to young, gay men with lots of disposable income to waste on frivolity. And believe me, I know - quality underwear is hardly frivolous. A traditional "tighty whities" boy growing up, once Uncle P discovered boxer-briefs, there was no going back. I may have experimented with the bikini brief, briefly. But that was back in the 70's and who wasn't experimenting with something in those days? 

Personally, I don't find Mr. Christian's line to my taste. I have nothing against colorful britches (my personal favorite pair of boxer-briefs is Blood Red, of course) but I just don't understand how one can be actually be comfortable in some of his more daring designs. I'm also not particularly a fan of the twinky young 'models' (i.e. porn star wannabes) he uses. Being a full-blooded Ursan, I tend to like 'em bigger and fuzzier And now that you know WAY too much about me, here is The Gayest Video You'll Ever See Which Isn't Actually Porn (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!):

Now that's about as far from Magic Mormon Underwear as one can get! Coincidentally, tomorrow is laundry day at Chez Prospero. 

Bottom line (every pun intended), why anyone would spend the kind of money Christian wants for his skimpy drawers when Hanes does an even better job of providing support and mystique, is beyond me. I can buy 5 pair of Hanes boxer briefs at Target for less than half the cost of one pair of Andrew Christian's 'Candy Pop' drawers.

Then again, I don't have the kind of money the poor, vapid idiots this campaign is designed for have. And even if I did, I would hope that I would use it in more socially productive way. Still, I suppose the old Madison Avenue adage applies: Sex Sells. Just ask Jon Hamm.

More, anon.
Prospero

Get a Kluwe

A Man Whose Hand I'd Like to Shake - Chris Kluwe

One of my personal sports heroes has struck again. Writing for The Guardian, former NFL Kicker and staunch LGBT ally Chris Kluwe implores Olympians attending the 2014 Winter Games to be outspoken advocates for civil rights. 

Personally, I'd like to say that I agree with Mr. Kluwe. "We're Here! We're Queer! Get Used to Us!" has just as much meaning today as it has throughout the LGBT Rights movement. And while the fact that straight athletes like Kluwe; Brendon Ayanbedejo and Ben Cohen have lent their voices to the cause does a world of good, there are still so many unenlightened and superstitious asshats out there. Yes, the ignorant and therefore, scared seem to be slowly but surely dying out. Straight people my age (my friends already agree and my regular readers have figured that out, long ago) and younger, know how ridiculous it is to be so stupid and backward. Of course, lots of people my parents' ages have long ago agreed, but weren't able to do so publicly, until recent events have proven them to be on the right side of history.

Still... were I a gay athlete participating in the Sochi Olympics or a gay friend and/or family member of a gay and/or straight Olympian, I would completely understand your reluctance to speak out. I may not like it (visibility is our strongest asset), but I would respect your decision to remain silent. 

You can read Kluwe's piece here (via).

And just to keep things weird, here's some Olympic Nonsense:

Zombie-lympics?



It's somehow comforting to know that Rednecks are Universal:



Hmmmm... Does that make Yakov Smirnoff the Russian Jeff Foxworthy? The mind boggles.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Very Gay Olympics Quickie

While the competitions officially start tomorrow night, the Opening Ceremonies of the 2014 Winter Olympics aren't for two more days. 

First, I have to ask if anyone is really all that surprised by the two major stories trending on the web, right now? First, are the hilarious horror stories being tweeted from journalists about their unfinished; easily broken; water tainted; heatless accommodations. And I thought I had a bad hotel experience in Chicago, last summer! Of course, foreign war correspondents are understandibly less than sympathetic...

Then there's NBC's story about the prolific electronics hacking taking place among the tourists pouring in from all over:

Oh, dear. Not that I would have gone, but I somehow feel better knowing there is nothing on my phone I wouldn't be willing to share with my 85 year old great aunt. I don't use my smartphone for much more than pictures, calls and texts (and the occasional GPS) and have no fear of my personal and/or financial information being stolen from it.

Listen, I get it. The Olympics are the Oscars for athletes. The winners' names will be recorded for the remainder of Human History (forget about eternity... humans will most likely be extinct long before our sun goes supernova). The participants spend lifetimes preparing to compete and no one should be denied the right to do so. But no one should be afraid to be arrested, beaten or worse, just for being who they are. Thankfully, this video from the Canadian diversity group CIDI ICDI isn't about to let the Russians off the hook quite so easily (via):

As George Takei might say..."Oh, myyyyy!"

I will not be watching the Winter Olympics this year. Not that I would normally, though I occasionally stop while clicking through channels to see the medal count or watch some figure skating (I am so effing gay, I almost can't stand it). This time, though, I think it would feel... icky, to watch, knowing how bad things are for LGBT Russians. It makes me sad that what should be a Celebration of World Unity has instead become a lesson in homophobia, incompetence and an egotistical Tsarist's whims. Personally, I'd be happy to never see Putin's nipples again, for as long as I live.

More, anon.
Prospero

Scotland at 17

It's Not Polite to Ask...

Does anyone else remember the mostly excellent and cancelled-too-soon 1977 - 1978 TV series "James at 16?" James (Lance Kerwin) and I were the same age, going through many of the same things. Of course there was one big difference: James was straight. I could only relate so much, you know?

Today, Scotland advanced into the 21st Century and became the 17th country to legally recognize Marriage Equality. My heart was lightened just ever so much at this news. And while I know that at my age, it is very unlikely I will find someone I actually would be willing to marry, it's good to know that those who will come after me will someday live in an enlightened society. 

And who knows? George Takei and Jim Nabors both met their husbands when they were my age. I've told several friends that I've given up looking. And I have. Still... I'd like to believe my grandmother when she said "There's a lid for every pot. But sometimes, you have to root around the cabinet to find it."

Congratulations, Scotland! Thank you for coming to your senses!

More, anon.
Prospero

Snow Day Part Deux (of Trois?)

Today was yet another rare Snow Day at Uncle P's Day Job. I got to sleep in and even found a pair of entrepreneurial teens who shoveled my walk and driveway in less than a quarter of the time it would have taken me. Of course, the township plow came along after, creating a mound of nastiness at the bottom of my driveway. I did my best to shovel away the worst of it, but relied on my SUV to clear paths in several directions. 

Of course, the weather also kept me from personal interactions. Lately, it seems most of my personal interactions have been at the Day Job, and while that's not exactly a bad thing, it's not a good thing, either.

And while another major ice/snow storm is predicted for tomorrow night, I spend another night alone in a house I may well have to give up, through no fault of my own. Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining (well, maybe a little). What I am is confused, lonely and depressed. And while I imagine that applies to so many people I may or may not know, it doesn't make me feel any better about it. Trust me, if I could afford therapy, I'd so back in a heartbeat. Of course, that also means finding a therapist as good as my last one (almost 20 years ago).

Honestly, I'll probably get through this winter. And probably the next several. I have another 15 years before I can officially retire. I may lose my mind and move to the Southwest well before then.

Aaaauuuuuuuuuugh!

More, anon.
Prospero

Six More Weeks of Idiocy

The infamous Punxatawny Phil actually lives in a place called Gobbler's Knob, PA. As a resident of the Commonwealth, which has towns with names Like Intercourse and Blue Ball, Gobbler's Knob still elicits the kind of sophomoric giggles as Monty Python's 'Biggus Dickus' and 'Incontentia Buttocks.'

So today, the Marmota momax known as 'Phil' supposedly saw his shadow, thereby forecasting six more weeks of Winter. The tradition dates back to ancient Celtic superstition, but has the first official documentation of celebration in 1841, in Morgantown. PA. I have no idea why or how this nonsense became to be widely believed. Nor do I care.

A snow storm is predicted to be the heaviest here along the -I95 Corridor during tomorrow morning's  rush hour. Most recent predictions (as of this writing) are for 6 to 8 inches of snow. If the Powers That Be at the Day Job are smart and considerate, I'll get to sleep in and hopefully correct the horrible error I made in choosing the absolutely wrong color for the bathroom trim. And while another Snow Day means more time to find deductions and clean my toilet, it adds more stress for the Day Job clients when we do get back in. And I'm really not ready to think about the second storm system out of the Midwest which has the potential to dump up to an additional 12 inches on the region. I am hating this winter so much, for so many reasons.

Honestly, with all the crap I'm going through right now, Taos is looking better and better, every day. Don't get me wrong - I really the place I work and enjoy the Change of Seasons. but to never have to worry or even think about snow and ice again, would be wonderful. And seriously, where else would I go? Sis may love Florida (and I do so love visiting), but Uncle P needs a little more 'artistic sensibility,' if you will.

Wow. How cheesy was that? Maybe I'll go to Phoenix, instead. Or Reno. Almost anywhere warm except L.A. Or Miami. Nolo would be nice, of it wasn't so humid.

How should we punish the Climate Change deniers?

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: "We're the Millers"

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about Groundhog Day or write this review... And I did my best to come up with a way to tie the two together, but couldn't find any rational correlation between the two other than that both Groundhog Day and We're the Millers are comedies.

Michael joined me for dinner and an OnDemand movie Friday night and since we were both in the mood for some nonsense, we watched this past summer's weirdly sentimental caper comedy which turned out to be actually much funnier than the numbers said it should have been. A preposterous plot? Most certainly. Gross-outs; sex jokes; stereotypes; outrageous coincidences and Carny trash? Of course! There is nothing particularly original or unexpected about the script from Bob Fisher and Steve Faber (The Wedding Crashers) or Rawson Marshall Thurber's (Dodgeball) direction. Luckily, Thurber managed to to pull together a cast capable of pulling off this particular brand of nonsense with ease and style. 

SNl alum Jason Sudekis is Dave Clark, a slacker pot dealer who is content with his life and has his business down to a science. Jennifer Aniston (in another surprisingly good performance) is his neighbor Rose, a stripper at the end of her financial rope. When dorky neighbor Kenny (Will Poulter) involves Dave in a dispute with a bunch of thugs and street urchin Casey (Emma Roberts) he ends up with both is stash and cash stolen and owing over $40 Grand to his supplier, the innocuously named but ruthless Brad (Ed Helms). In order or make up for it Brad sends Dave to Mexico to pick up "a smidgen and half" of pot. In order to keep under the radar, Dave enlists Rose, Kenny and Casey to pretend to be an average family on an RV trip. Throughout the outrageous road trip (which includes an exceptionally funny encounter with a sexually adventurous DEA agent and his wife - hilariously played Nick Offerman and and Katherine Hahn) and a male genitals visual involving a tarantula bite that is almost as disturbing as the zipper scene in There's Something About Mary, the four forge a very unlikely bond. It's no spoiler here to say the Millers end up together as a very real (though oddly dysfunctional) family. Stupid, ridiculous and not at all for the prudish. We're the Millers is well worth the watching, especially with the right person, under the right conditions. And I must admit, this gay man isn't afraid to say that bad actress or not, Aniston is smoking hot in this movie! It was exactly the kind of nonsense I needed after the week I've had!

We're the Millers is rated 'R' for drug references, sexual situations, adult language and violence. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out Of Four Stars).

And since it is Groundhog Day, that rotten Marmota monax had better not see it's shadow this morning. I have no problem driving out to Punxatawney to wring that rodent's neck! Not one, but two snowstorms are predicted for this region in the coming week. While I have no intention of moving any time soon, retirement in Taos is looking more and more attractive.

More, anon.

Prospero