Today was the Holiday Party at the Day Job. We boarded the buses and headed to the usual venue (a popular local club/restaurant) where we were treated to a delicious buffet and an open wine and beer bar. We danced, made fools of ourselves and left early after the buses deposited us back at the building. I've said it before and am happy to say it again: I work for a wonderful NPO that treats its employees like family and I consider myself quite blessed to a part of that family.
Anyway, I got home about 2 hours earlier than usual and had every intention of using that time to its best advantage. So, what did I do? I plopped down on the sofa and watched reruns of "Law and Order: SVU" on cable. I had planned to work on my almost finished screenplay and make notes on an idea I had for a novel. Instead, I got caught up in Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay investigating the sexual assault a young girl who. along with her unsuspecting parents, was the victim of a car accident. o creativity on my part, whatsoever.
I did manage to make a few notes for the novel, several hours later, but by then, the idea of expending energy on either project was little more than a distant memory. I watched some more DVR'd TV; checked Facebook and my email; played a game and came here to bitch about how little I'd actually done today. Sigh... sometimes I hate my lack of discipline.
So, what does the picture of NBC's "The Cape" have anything to do with anything about which I've talked tonight? On a scale of 1 to 10: 1. Though I will be posting about it as soon as I've actually seen it. I guess that's something...or not. I just ask that you hang in until I actually have something worth saying.
The picture says it all. Fox TV's latest animated series "Bob's Burgers" is simply dreadful, despite the presence of the usually hilarious YouTube sensation John Roberts as the voice of Bob's wife, Linda.
Stupid, poorly animated and plain unfunny, the first episode of "Bob's Burgers" concerns a rumor (started by Bob's own daughter) that Bob serves burgers made of human flesh. In better hands, this could be a very funny premise. In the hands of show runners Loren Bouchard and Jim Dautrieve, it's an exercise in poor taste and unfunniness.
To counteract the bad Fox show, I have DVR'd the first two episodes of NBC's newest Superhero series "The Cape." Based on what I've seen so far, I don't hold out much hope for it. Still, I look forward to them proving me wrong.
And speaking of TV, did you see the latest episode of ABC's "V?" Not only did we get to see Anna's reptilian tail take out a traitor, but original "V" cast member Jane Badler showed up as Anna's mother! Finally, the kind of weirdness the show needs to push it to the forefront of TV Sci-Fi. I'm looking forward to what the series has to offer in the next months.
I first wrote about Season of the Witchin the fall of 2009, when it was scheduled for release the following March. Then, it seemed to fade away. And suddenly came back with a new release date, 10 months after it was originally scheduled. That should have gotten my spidey senses tingling, but I was intrigued by the possibilities surrounding the premise, so when D suggested we go if his scheduled trip to A.C. was canceled due to the snow, we found ourselves and our friend Heather in the audience of the 8:25 screening tonight.
Set during the Crusades, Season of the Witch stars Nic Cage (another thing which should have set my hackles to "rise") as Behmen and Ron Perlman as Felson, knights who abandon their pledges when they realize the Church is making them kill innocent people (imagine a religion doing something like that... shocking!). While on the lam, they stumble upon a plague-ridden city where the dying Cardinal D'Ambroise (genre legend Christopher Lee) offers them redemption if they'll accompany a priest and a grieving knight as they escort a witch (on whom they blame the plague) to a remote monastery where the monks are to preside over a ritual that will determine the young woman's fate. It was at about this point that I turned to Heather and asked "Is this a Monty Python movie?" At first, the deserters refuse, but Behmen, overtaken with guilt and believing the girl to be innocent, relents and they are soon on the road joined by a swindler as their guide and a pretty altar boy who wants to follow in his father's footsteps and become a knight.
After a promising opening scene, Season of the Witch moves on to a montage of battles and debauchery in which we learn Behmen and Felson are not just great warriors, but best buds. It is then that the cliches simply start to pile atop one another in a slow-moving trek through haunted woods, across rotting bridges and up foreboding mountain trails. As the party begins to thin the CGI ramps up (one character is actually eaten alive by CGI-enhanced wolves - sadly none of them Joe Manganiello) and by the time they reach their destination and the truth about the girl has come out, all hell breaks loose.
At some point, I simply started running a silent version of MST3K in my head until Heather and I couldn't stand it anymore and spent the last 20 minutes of the movie trying to control our hysterics over its cheesiness, much to poor D's consternation. The screenplay by Bragi Schut is so bloated with ridiculous dialog that only Perlman (a seasoned vet of genre campiness) seems to understand it is so crappy, it has to be played for laughs. Cage puts on his best self-important hero persona, making his idiotic dialog all the funnier, though sadly, without a hint of camp irony. Please, will someone get him to lighten up again. he was so funny in Kick-Ass. What happened?
The rest of the cast is completely forgettable, except for Stephen Graham, a British actor who plays the swindler/guide with an inexplicable Brooklyn accent. Newcomers Claire Foy as the girl and Robert Sheehan as the boy are serviceable, while handsome Danish Daddy Ulrich Thomsen manages to be the most convincing period character, though how he manages to get through the movie without breaking into hysterics, is beyond me. Director Dominic Sena (Swordfish) steals ideas and images from dozens of better movies, including Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Mummy; Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'; Drag Me to Hell; The Lord of the Rings and even the terrible The Thirteenth Warrior, making a film that lacks a single moment of originality in either its tone or design. Even the "big effect" creature at the end of the movie is in fact so completely underwhelming, it makes the giant spider at the end of It look like a stroke of genius.
Should you see Season of the Witch? Let me put it this way, if you have home parties where you play your own version of MST3K, then you might want to see it so you can get started on writing the jokes you're going to shout out when you have that party. Otherwise... no, not really.
Season... may not be the first movie I saw in 2011, but it is the first movie I saw that was released in 2011. So how sad it is that I'm starting the year with the first entry of my "Worst of 2011" list? Season of the Witch is a terrible movie, redeemed (if that's even the right word) only by its unintentional hilarity.
Zero stars. Rated PG-13 for "thematic elements, violence and disturbing content."
If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm what is politely referred to as a "genre guy" when it comes to entertainment; specifically the Nerd Trinity: Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi. But I also love plenty of other kinds of movies from all sorts of genres and long-time readers know I try see a balance of movies.
That's not to say I'm always willing to step out of my magic circle when it comes to other genres. War pictures are generally right out. As the children of a man who grew up during and subsequently became fascinated with WWII, my sister and I suffered through every episode of PBS' "The World at War" at least 20 times, while listening to our father espouse on military strategy like he was Alexander. I've never seen Saving Private Ryan; Full Metal Jacket or Platoon and have no intentions of doing so. Heresy, you say? You didn't grew up in Uncle P's house, so don't judge.
Of course, my father was a child of his time and he also loved the Universal Horror movies; Buck Rogers serials and Westerns.
To be honest, I can take or leave Westerns. Especially those of the Tom Mix and Roy Rogers type on which Dad was raised -- "You'd get a newsreel; a cartoon; a serial; another cartoon; the B picture and then the A picture. You were in that seat for all damned day for a quarter, which included popcorn!" Anyway, I can count on a hand a half the Westerns I really like a lot while filling the other half with Westerns I can sit through: Unforgiven; The Wild Bunch; The Outlaw Josie Wales; a few others. As a kid, I loved True Grit, though I can't exactly tell you why. 1968's True Grit won John Wayne his only Oscar as U.S. Marshall Rooster Cogburn. Wayne played himself, as he always did, so we must suspect that he won for his body of work, rather than his skills as a Thespian.
The Coen Brothers' new film -- based on the same novel -- is neither a remake, nor a "re-imagining" but rather a more faithful adaption of Charles Portis' novel about an extraordinary young lady taking on an extraordinary task -- avenging her father's murder. Taking over for the Duke is the Dude, Jeff Bridges as the hard drinking, one-eyed Reuben 'Rooster' Cogburn. The extraordinary young lady is Mattie Ross, played in the 1968 version by Kim Darby (Don't Be Afraid of the Dark; Better Off Dead). Newcomer Hailee Steinfeld is the 14 year-old Mattie in the new film; a determined little powerhouse who can quote law books, speaks Latin and can broker a deal that would shame Old Scratch himself. Mature beyond her years and tenacious as all get out, Mattie refuses to take "No" for an answer in hiring Cogburn to track down her father's killer. Meanwhile, Texas Ranger LeBeouf (pronounced Le-Beef) has been trailing the same man for murdering a politician in Texas. Both LeBeouf and Cogburn encourage Mattie to go home, but she refuses and ends up accompanying the two men into the Choctaw Territories in search of their man, who has apparently taken up with a man Cogburn has been after, as well. D and I saw it tonight as part of our Holiday get-together and we both agreed on how good it really was, meeting his and exceeding my expectations.
So, first of all... Yes, Bridges and Damon are so very good in this film and very much deserve the Oscars for which they are both likely to be nominated and I will talk about them both (and others) in bit. But this is Ms Steinfeld's movie and she shines in a debut performance that will be remembered for a very long time. While Ms Darby played Mattie as a meek thing finally asserting herself, Steinfeld plays her as an assertive, no-nonsense woman on a mission which she is not about to abort, no matter what. One of her best moments is near the end of the film; after all the hangings, stabbings and shootings she's seen (semi-spoiler alert) something happens that finally lets us see the little girl inside. Steinfeld's accent, mannerisms and delivery are so dead on, one might think she stepped right out of 19th Century Arkansas. I am making a bold prediction for a long and wonderful career for Ms Steinfeld.
Much has been made of Damon's performance as the almost foppish LeBeouf and I certainly agree that it's another in a growing line of great performances from an actor I am growing to love more and more. Of course, the question on everyone's mind - how is Bridges as Rooster? Well, I'm here to tell you that he's just terrific. The seasoned veteran simply goes to work and puts his own amazing take on the character. Yes, it's more Dude than Duke but in the hands of the Coens, that's a really good thing. A drunker and more garrulous Cogburn than Wayne, Bridges plays him as a lonely old coot who is wont to run at the mouth who just maybe sees a spark of his own youthful self in young Mattie, who can roll his cigarettes almost with looking. An almost unrecognizable Barry Pepper is Lucky Ned, leader of the gang and Josh Brolin is the man Mattie wants dead. Both are excellent here and Brolin should be glad to end his year with an actually good Western. Of course, every aging character actor around shows up in one form or another, most notably Ed Corbin in a hilarious bit as The Bear Man; Jariath Conroy as the Undertaker and Leon Rossum as the Sheriff.
The production design is both elegant and appropriately dire and the Coens' go-to Cinematographer Roger Deakins doesn't waste a single opportunity to capture the vast wilderness that was (and in some places still is) the Southwest at the turn of the last century. Often very funny but valiantly poignant, I must now amend my growing list of Top Ten Movies of 2010. And I am officially starting the campaign to nominate Hailee Steinfeld for "Best Actress." **** (Four out of Four Stars). True Grit is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of Western violence" See this movie!
First, I must address something my sister brought up about last night's posts on the Best TV Shows of the Decade by saying she was shocked that I hadn't included "Fringe" on the list. While I do believe it is currently one of the best shows on TV, and should have at least been given an 'Honorable Mention' (something I'm adding to tonight's list), in a Top Ten list, there should only be 10. And while I could have placed it in a tie with another show, I don't think that would have been fair to either one. Of course, my sister has yet to actually comment here, rather than send me an email so maybe we'll wait to share her thoughts until she shares them herself...
Anyway, as promised, below are my picks for the Best Horror Movies of the Decade. That's not to say that all of them scared me. It takes an awful lot to actually scare Uncle P, and that hasn't happened in a very long time. But many of them either disturbed or unnerved me. All of them were exceptionally entertaining, for any number of reasons.
I know I have lots of Horror Fan readers. I hope you agree (but won't be in the least slighted if you don't). Here we go:
10: Saw (2004)
Yes, Saw. The franchise may have devolved into ridiculously convoluted parodies of itself, but the original from Australian writers James Wan and Leigh Whannell was exceptionally well-done and featured a twist ending that actually surprised yours truly, something M. Knight Shamalamdingdong has never been able to do. Directed by Wan and featuring a truly diverse cast which includes Cary Elwes; Danny Glover; Dina Myer; Monica Potter; Shawnee Smith and "Lost" alums Ken Leung and Michael Emmerson, Saw deserved all the attention it got at Sundance. Sadly, it didn't deserve any of its increasingly lame sequels.
9: Zombieland (2009)
While hardly the the first comedy to take on the genre, Zombieland gets extra points for its out-and-out ballsiness. Jesse Eisenberg; Woody Harrelson; Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are having a ball as a group of survivors in search of a fabled "Zombie-Free Zone" at an amusement park in southern California. And I won't even get into the gut-bustingly funny cameo by Bill Murray.Warning: Here there be 'Evil You Know Whats' that sent Dear D into a fetal position in the corner of his seat. "Nut up or shut up!"
8: Slither (2006)
So many reasons to love this movie: gorgeous Nathan Fillion ("Castle;" "Firefly"); hot Elizabeth Banks (almosy every thing her husband Judd Apatow, directed); hilarious Gregg Henry ("The Gilmore Girls" and who should totally play Chance's father on "Human Target") and Michael Rooker ("The Walking Dead"); bad 80's horror homage; a billion and four jokes and the best line since Dead Alive* - "Somethin's wrong with me..." When a slug-like alien invades a small Southern town, the resulting zombie/alien/gross-out fun is as over-the-top as it gets. Writer/Director James Gunn wrote the screenplay to Zack Snyder's 2004 excellent remake of Dawn of the Dead.
7: The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Rocker turned director Rob Zombie's sequel to his debut film, House of 1000 Corpses, is as brutal and nasty as they come. An homage to 70's horror, The Devil's Rejects is a tale of revenge more than anything; has some of the most disturbing scenes in any movie; an amazing performance from Leslie Easterbrook and lunatics as only Sid Haig and Bill Mosely could portray them. Oh, yeah. it will forever change what you think about when you hear "Freebird."
6: The Mist (2007)
Frank Darabont has been one of the very directors to right by Stephen King. His versions of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile are nearly flawless (I can't watch The Green Mile without bawling like a baby, no matter how many times I've seen it), so it's no wonder his adaptation of my favorite King short story is on this list. After an "incident" takes place at a military facility, a strange mist envelops the small town below, trapping a group of neighbors in the local grocery as unimaginable creatures roam outside, mostly unseen. Creepy and fun, The Mist features hottie Thomas Jane, Darabont favorites Laurie Holder and Jeffrey DeMunn (both in "The Walking Dead") and Marcia Gay Harden in a performance that would have been nominated if it wasn't in a horror movie. And Darabont's disturbing ending is actually far more effective than King's, which was completely ambiguous.
5: The Descent (2005)
Claustrophobic; terrifying; original... just a few words that describe British director Neil Marshall's Sophomore effort. A group of adventure-loving gals gather a year after a tragedy to continue their annual rite, this time caving in West Virginia. A cave-in leaves them trapped in an unexplored system where they soon find out that they are not alone. Grim, gory and tension-filled, The Descent should be seen in its original version, rather than the U.S. theatrical cut.
4: The Others (2001)
Taking a cue from classics like the original version of The Haunting and The Innocents, Spanish writer/director Alejandro Amenabar creates an atmospheric and creepy ghost tale about a war-widow (Nicole Kidman in an exceptional performance) and her photosensitive children. I may have figured out the movie's twist long before the reveal, but the reveal itself was so well done that I forgave its transparency. Creepy and unnerving without a single drop of blood or CGI demon, The Others is the kind of horror movie directors should aspire to make.
3: Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Michael Dougherty's massively entertaining anthology interweaves four stories that take place during a Midwestern town's Halloween celebration. Urban legends; werewolves; vampires; serial killers and a particularly nasty little fellow called Peeping Tommy all add up to one of a fun movie. The movie garnered festival raves, but never saw a theatrical release, making many genre fans (myself included) rabid to see it. When it finally came out on DVD in 2008, we weren't disappointed in the least. Word is, Dougherty is peparing a sequel, which will actually in theaters. I, for one, can't wait.
2: Let the Right One In (2008)
The Swedish adaptation of John Alvide Lyndqvist's novel about a vampire in sheep's clothing is both stylish and atmospheric. Like Matt Reeve's American take (Number 2 on my Best of 2010), it's a quiet film that lets the evil ooze through its cracks, while creating sympathetic characters with whom we can relate. A stunner.
1: Drag Me to Hell (2009)
I'll admit I may be prejudiced by the circumstances under which I first saw this film (shared with a group of people whom I love dearly and who all had such a good time together that night), but Sam Raimi's return to the genre that made him the director he is today is an outrageous, disgusting, hilarious and relentless rollercoaster of a movie that holds up (and actually gets better) after multiple viewings. Gorgeous Allison Loman and adorable Justin Long are the young couple beset by forces beyond their control and character actress Lorna Raver is the disgusting hag who sets things in motion. Raimi pulls out all the stops and delivers what is certainly the most entertaining horror movie of the decade.
Honorable Mentions:
Grace; 30 Days of Night; Let Me In; 28 Days Later; Shaun of the Dead; May; Cabin Fever; Planet Terror; Dawn of the Dead (2004); High Tension.
*Which still holds the title for Best Line in a Horror Movie with: "Your mother ate my dog!"
So, what do you think? Give me your picks in a comment. I always love hearing from you!
Wow, it's been a long time since I watched TV on a set like the one on your right.
I had one of these in my bedroom for many years, though these days TV viewing is limited to my living room on my Vizio 32" LCD HD flatscreen. It's a good TV with excellent picture and sound. I can't imagine what my grandparents would have thought of a TV that weighed less than ten pounds and delivered movies On Demand or recorded shows without setting the timer on a VCR.
I'll admit that I love TV, especially now. For as much crap as the networks put out (Survivor; The Bachelor/Bachelorette; Two and a Half Men), there is often enough good stuff to counterbalance it. So, for my first big post of the new year, here are my picks for the best TV shows of the past decade:
10. 24
24 was the show that almost wasn't. Debuting not long after 9/11, it was a story of a terrorists plotting the assassination of the first viable black candidate for President, and only our hero Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) could stop it. Oh - and it was told in real time. Each episode equaled one hour in time, giving us one day in a 24 episode season. The plots were ridiculous (Kim and the cougar?); Jack's survival was preposterous and the story lines were often recycled (how many moles could CTU have?), but there was nothing like it before or since, and it was the best action show since Mission Impossible.
9. Modern Family
The family sitcom had almost been officially declared dead when ABC premiered it's faux-documentary Modern Family, featuring three branches of the family, including a gay couple raising their adopted daughter. Brilliant writing combined with an astounding ensemble cast give is one of the best sitcoms since Friends.
8. Psych
USA continues to provide funny, interesting shows, and Psych is the best since Monk. When Sean Spencer (James Roday) returns to his hometown of Santa Barbara, he teams up with his childhood friend Gus (Dule Hill) and uses the observational techniques taught to him by is father (Corbin Bernsen) to establish himself as a "psychic" detective. Irreverent and often downright silly, Psych is one of TV's most enjoyable hours.
7. How I Met Your Mother
CBS may have the worst sitcom on TV (the repulsively unfunny Two and a Half Men), but it also has one of the best. Terrific writing and ensemble acting (not to mention stand-out Neil Patrick Harris) once again combine to make this tale of a rather unlikeable architect's search for the girl of his dreams, so likable.
6. Arrested Development
This Fox sitcom, produced and narrated by Ron Howard, told the story of the Bluth family, whose father was imprisoned for selling housing that didn't exist (or existed only in Iraq). The show gave rise to the career of Michael Cera, resurrected the career of Jason Bateman and lent a whole new meaning to the term "frozen banana." Sadly, the show was too smart for the average TV viewer and was cancelled after only 3 brilliant seasons.
5. The Closer
Kyra Sedgwick finally won an Emmy last year for her role as Los Angeles Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson, a woman with fierce determination and the ability to elicit a confession from the most cynical of murderers. Her struggles to gain acceptance among her peers; her tenacity when working a case and her love for her FBI agent husband all add up to one of the most endearing characters in a procedural drama in a long time. It helps that Sedgwick is joined by one of the best casts on TV, including J.K. Simmons and hottie Jon Tenney.
4. Six Feet Under
The story of the Fisher Family and their mortuary business was an instant hit for HBO, and producer Alan Ball made sure each episode was filled with black humor and human drama. An amazing cast, terrific writing and a fearless producer gave us a TV classic. Of course, it helped that it had the single best series finale of all time. As Claire made her way East to New York, we got to see just what happened to every character. Only one series finale ever made me cry more... Brilliant.
3. The Walking Dead
Envelope pusher AMC took a huge gamble in producing a very graphic series based in Robert Kirkman's graphic novel about a group of people trying to survive in a world gone mad. Produced by Frank Darabont and Gale Anne Hurd, The Walking Dead is the rare modern zombie story that's more about the living than the dead. And boy, is it good!
2. Pushing Daisies
Series creator Bryan Fuller has had several quirky, funny series, none of which have lasted beyond a season or two. And the best of these was one of TV's best shows ever. In Pushing Daisies, adorable Lee Pace plays Ned, a fellow who can revive the dead with a single touch. The catch? If he touches them again, they die for good. Hilarious, touching, romantic and oh so dark, Pushing Daisies was probably a little too quirky for mainstream America, but it pushed all the right buttons with me.
1. Lost
ABC caught America's collective imaginations with the J.J. Abrams series about a group of plane crash survivors marooned on a mysterious island. The show, with its complicated mythology, time-jumping plot lines and characters that blurred the lines between hero and villain was at once the most fascinating and aggravating series, ever. And it's Season Six finale is still the cause of debate, 6 months after it aired.
I'll be back tomorrow with my Top Ten Horror Movies of the Decade.
I was going to start the New Year with my picks for the 10 Best of the Decade, in Movies, TV and Theatre until I came across this article (via) calling a scene I found particularly brilliant the Best Movie Scene of the Year, from Matt Reeves 'cover version" of 2008's Let the Right One in.
Let Me In isn't exactly a remake of that particular film, as Salon columnist Matt Zoller Seitz points out, but just Reeve's personal take on the same material. Let Me In was my #2 pick (so far) for 2010 and I was actually sad that it didn't receive the box office it deserved. I briefly mentioned the scene in my original review, but after seeing the clip embedded below, I have become even more enamored of its composition and cinematography. As Seitz points out, Reeve does indeed have "the patience of a spider." He takes his time throughout the film to develop character, atmosphere and suspense and doesn't cheapen the material with "cat jump" scares and gore just for the sake of gore.
In the scene, Abby's (Chloe Moretz) 'father' (Richard Jenkins) sets out to find food for his charge. His plans are sent awry with the addition of an unexpected character, leading up to an event which explains the film's opening sequence. Like Hitchcock's "bomb under the table" scenario, Reeve lingers over the 'bomb' (Jenkins) while we hear the other characters' nonchalant and unknowing conversation. Reeve masterfully builds tension while working toward a startlingly thrilling stunt sequence. Here, see for yourselves:
Now that's some prime filmmaking, my friends. I'm looking forward to see what Reeve still has up his sleeve (and had no intention of making a rhyme). And just as a spoilery side note: while Seitz mentions the song on the radio, he (maybe deliberately) fails to mention how appropriate it is for what happens after the clip ends.
I hope you had a wonderful time last night and no hangover this morning; I hope you all find yourselves that much closer to your hearts' desires and I hope we all get to see better movies than 2010 gave us.
