Review: "Godzilla"

I saw a picture of one of those digital signs above a multiplex auditorium door that announces the title and show time: "GODZILLA - In IMAX" and under that, a very funny sign programmer added "Now with 100% Less Matthew Broderick." And thank goodness!

Fellow Kaiju fans, wipe the stench of Roland Emmerich's 1998 fiasco of a remake from your noses forever. Dry the disappointed tears of Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim from your eyes. Director Gareth Edwards (2010's indie fave, Monsters) and his team have crafted the modern Godzilla movie true Godzilla fans have been waiting for.

Writers Max Borenstein and David Callahan (The Expendables films) wisely don't try to give us an origin story and assume the events of 1954's Gojira did take place. 15 years after a catastrophic accident at a Japanese nuclear plant kills his wife n 1999 (not really a spoiler as that's part of the prologue), the plant's engineer Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) is arrested for trespassing in the contaminated area, still looking for answers. When son Ford (Kick-Ass star Aaron Taylor-Johnson) arrives to bail him out, Joe convinces him the site is experiencing the same type of disturbances that preceded the last accident. Of course, his warnings come too late for Dr. Ichiro Serizowa (Ken Watanabe) to prevent the birth of an insectoid behemoth they soon dub a M.U.T.O. (Massive Unidentified Target Organism). Think of a cross between a praying mantis, a bat and steam shovel. When the MUTO's mate hatches in Nevada (it makes sense, trust me) their meeting place is apparently San Francisco, where Ford has just left his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and young son. 

When the King of Monsters does show up, the Army drafts a plan to draw all three radiation-hungry monsters out to sea and blow them up, despite Serizowa's insistence that Godzilla has come to kill the MUTOs and restore nature's balance. There is, as in every great Kaiju movie, massive destruction (though this time it's Honolulu, Las Vegas and San Francisco that take the beatings) and an intense battle between three super-gigantic (Big G is at least 10 times his original size) monsters, two of whom should have known better. What little plot there is, mostly revolves around Ford trying to both save the world and get home to his family. Everyone seems to be having a grand time, despite the hyperbolic circumstances of the story. Cranston is as wonderful as always, while Juliette Binoche is wasted in a what amounts to a cameo as Joe's wife. But this is Taylor-Johnson's movie, and his beautiful green eyes (the same shade as my mother's) don't make up for the fact that he never takes his shirt off. Seriously though, it's nice to see an action hero outside of a Marvel movie who can actually act, despite not being given much more than genre tropes with which to work (not that those tropes don't serve the film - they are actually de rigeur.

The CGI is just terrific and the astonishing score by the prolific Alexandre Desplat really works to help Edwards paint moments of nearly silent terror in what could have been an ear-splittingly loud movie from start to finish (far from it). Expect Oscar noms for Sound, Sound Editing and Sound Effects on top of those for Special Visual Effects and Cinematography. My companion specifically requested that we not see it in 3D (his eyes are worse than mine) and I didn't miss it, per se, though I think I really need to see it again in 3D for the fullest effect.

For my first big Tent-Pole of the season, Godzilla  really had the potential to go either way. Thankfully it totally went the right way! Do yourselves a favor and see Godzilla on the big screen in a theater with a good sound system. **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Godzilla is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of destruction, mayhem and creature violence."

I must admit, Godzilla was a very happy cap to Uncle P's most excellent weekend. It started with a completely painless purchase of a new washing machine (finally and thank His Noodly Appendages) at h.h.gregg. If you don't have them where you live, write them and ask them to open a store near you (that is a rare and completely unsolicited endorsement -- I have found that major appliance purchases are often painful, drawn-out affairs, but they were terrific). I then celebrated the last trip to the laundromat I ever want to take. That same evening, my dear K, who has been in a show for what seemed like forever, came over for cheese-steaks; "Will and Grace;" "Grimm;" "Face-Off" and Yahtzee! (I kicked her butt!) Today, after a thorough dusting, I made a very successful and yummy batch of mozzarella-stuffed meatballs and sauce for dinner and then met M for a terrifically fun movie! It's the little things... life finally seems to be getting back to (or gaining a new version of) some semblance of 'normal' in my life. That's a very good thing.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Weirdest Nonsense You'll See This Week, Among Other Things

Lots of good things going on this weekend, including the fact that I will be able to audition for a show in which I very much want to take part (my upcoming Day Job trip to the City on the Lake is the same weekend as regular auditions and the producers have graciously agreed to see me early. Yay!) Last night I had a great time at the movies with a friend and while today saw the usual Sunday tasks, none of them were particularly stressful and I got to enjoy plenty of time to decompress. So even though it is the end of the weekend, I'm still in a really good mood.

Of course, there's almost nothing that puts me in a better mood than a bit of good, old-fashioned nonsense. And it just so happens that Jonco, over at Bits And Pieces shared plenty of nonsense today, and I wanted to share some of it with you. 

First is something called "Face Folding" The Daily Dot (I've never heard of it, either) says 'Face Folding Turns Every Movie Into a Horror.' Honestly, I'm not sure I agree with that, especially when they use clips from Sci-Fi and Fantasy films and manipulate actors' voices to illustrate their point. The effect is sometimes creepy, but more often just... Extraterrestrial.

And there's this delightfully hilarious bit of editing nonsense that had Uncle P quite literally LOL'ing more than once. Enjoy:

It was the IRL QWOP clip (link has NSFW language) that got me started giggling uncontrollably. The rest was just more fuel for the fire.

In "Only in America" News: The County Fair at the Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds in Petaluma, California held it's annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Beagle/Boxer Winner Walle gets his owner $1500.00 and national TV appearances. I guess it's a good thing that these poor doggies have no idea they're ugly.

Finally, among other things and on an only semi-nonsensical point, if you're a regular then you know the only Reality/Talent show I watch is AGT (a guilty pleasure, to be sure). Well, for the first time in a very long time, I have an early favorite. Kenichi Ebina is a rather amazing dancer and I can see him moving on to the finals (though not sure this early that he can win - no dancers ever have).

Hoping your week stays silly (in the good way, of course). I, for one, will be seeking a shrubbery. A nice one with a path down the middle so you get a lovely two-level effect (ooh - what a give-away!).


More, anon.
Prospero

PS - I love how meta this post turned out, even if it's only meta to me.

Philadelphia

Honestly... Not the Best Sandwich in America

Yesterday was K's birthday. She's 3 2 years older than Uncle P, but just like me, acts 10 (or more) years younger. Today, our two other BFFs (Q and Dale) treated K to a day in Center City Philadelphia, starting with a visit to the Reading Terminal Market and a stop at Tommy DiNic's for an Italian Pork Sandwich with Kohlrabi broccolirabe (voted 'Best Sandwich in America' by Travel Channel's cute bear Adam Richman). Yes, the roast pork was delicious, but the kohlrabi broccolirabe was cooked with some rather intense garlic, which made the sandwich a bit too garlickly to be actually good. I saved half and will remove most of the kohlrabi broccolirabe before I eat the rest. Truth be told, I've had a better sandwich at any number of more local places.

We wandered about the very crowded market for another hour or so and I ended up buying some delicious local cheese; a jar of seedless blackberry jam; an amazingly delicious black cherry balsamic vinegar and a homeopathic remedy for my poor mother's increasingly painful night leg cramps. I also got to taste a sample of an astoundingly delicious Maple/Bacon cupcake, which found both Dale and myself in foodie heaven.

Afterwards, we made out way to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which I haven't visited in a very long time. We wandered about the first floor which houses the museum's collection of Modern Art (much of which confounded K - and some of which confounded Uncle P) and then made our way up to the second floor. There we found some amazing and intricate Renaissance and early Dutch; English and American art and furniture. Nearly exhausted from all the walking, eating and carrying-on, we made our way home having spent a day with people we love very much... and that's what really mattered in the end. 

Between last night's rather wonderful date and today's visit to the very nearby Cradle of American Democracy, this weekend has proven to be one I will remember for quite some to come. Of course, tomorrow will involve involve bill-paying, grocery shopping, house cleaning and laundry... a bit of a let-down from what's come before. But I'm not complaining.

More, anon.
Prospero