Thursday, January 5, 2012

Daytime TV: Worse Than Being Sick?

That may as well be a picture of me all of yesterday and most of today. Uncle P is at the end of  a minor ear infection. It hurt and it threw my equilibrium out of whack for a few days but I think the worst is behind me. The vertigo is pretty much gone (as long as I don't turn or stand too quickly) and the icepick in my ear has been reduced to an occasional dull ache at point where my mandible meets the malar bone (thus endeth today's biology lesson). 

Needless to say, driving and consequently the day job were no goes. Unlike last week, where I had lots of activities planned, I thought I would be working. Unable to do much else, I spent yesterday and today watching daytime TV. Some of it was amusing; some of entertaining; some of it informative and most of it pure drek. So here's my assessment of a day and half's worth of Daytime TV

First, some thing's I've always known and/or suspected.

I have re-discovered the fact that Rachael Ray's voice goes through me like you-know-whats-on-a-you-know-what

I am so happy I have learned to laugh at Elizabeth Hasselbeck, rather than wanting to rip out her throat with my evil gay fingers. 

I now know that it was Kelly Ripa who kept that show on the air, all along (You Go, Girl!).
Am I the only one who knew that Oprah didn't really retire? 

Someone should have put a stop to Kathy Lee and Hoda a long time ago.

Judge Judy is the only TV judge. Get over it, Judge Joe; Judge Marilyn; Judge Glenda; Judge Alex and all other pretenders to the throne.

Jerry Springer, Maury Povitch and their ilk have only gotten more exploitative and respulsive.

And now, a few positive notes.

I actually enjoy ABC's "The Chew." It's an eclectic group of folk, led by openly gay host Clinton Kelly ("What Not to Wear"). Most of the food they prepare on air looks yummy and the five co-hosts seem to have a genuine chemistry. The show strives to provide healthy recipes and is raising money for FeedingAmerica. Good stuff all around.

The LGBT Community's unofficial 'Queen,' Ellen Degeneres continues to be the funniest, nicest, most generous and sincerely happy-to-do-what-she-does talk-show host since Merv Griffin.

The rest of Daytime is pretty much a vast wasteland of bad behavior, children's programming, paid promotions (infomercials) and the few remaining soaps. Ugh. 

I admit to dozing through most of the really bad stuff, though I do remember waking up now and then and asking myself, "What the...?" And fear not... I am already feeling much better, despite the scary daytime landscape.In fact, the day-job will provide a much-needed respite from cheating boyfriends; negligent landlords; cross-dressing husbands; badly behaved pets; butter-laden recipes and rich people looking for vacation homes, abroad. 

I'm beginning to think there may actually be too many channels...

More, anon.


Michael Offutt, Visitor from the Future said...

I saw Lady Gaga in concert. It was the best damn concert I have ever seen. I had great seats too. Man does she know how to put on a show.

David said...

Yeah, but then I think about how Arrested Development created a reality courtroom show called Judge Reinhold starring Judge Reinhold. It would've worked, you know.

Prospero said...

David - Peeing myself over here! I would LOVE to see Rob Loblaw go up against Judge Reinhold! Genius. Send it to Ron Howard, immediately!