Wednesday, December 7, 2011


What the hell? Not since Penelope Spheeris' crapped out The Little Rascals in 1994 has my childhood been so shat upon.

My sister and I grew up in the 60's and 70's, watching the Rascals' (and Our Gang) shorts on TV. We can quote them ad nauseum, and often embarrass our mother and my brother-in-law by sending each other into gales of inappropriately hysterical public laughter by doing so.  The shorts are also responsible for Q and I bonding forever one weird night after a rehearsal for a college production of The Heiress (that's a story for another time).

We also grew up watching Moe, Larry and Curly  (and later, Joe and Curly Joe) as The Three Stooges. A vaudeville act who went on to find success as a slapstick trio in 1940's shorts, the Stooges were on TV in the Philadelphia market every Sunday morning when we were kids. We can also quote many of their famous routines (and "Swingin' the Alphabet" is the most singable song you'll ever hear). They're still on in many markets (along with the Rascals).

So, when the Farrelly Brothers (Kingpin; There's Something About Mary) announced they were making a Three Stooges movie, I thought "Well, if anyone can do it, they can." Will Sasso as Curly? Sure. Sean Hayes as Larry? Okay - maybe. Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe - Who? Oh, that guy. This could work as a biopic. Of course, it's not a biopic. It's a new Stooges story, told as if the three 'moroons' were alive today. WTF? Did no one learn anything from The Little Rascals

The teaser trailer was released today, and it only confirmed what I feared would happen. I think that this movie will stink worse than a Halloween pumpkin at Thanksgiving. Take a look at the trailer and see if you don't agree:

Truth be told, there was not a single second of that trailer that made me smile, let alone laugh. Seriously? Snooki? Next you're going to tell me that "The Situation" is in this load of crap. Wait, what? He is? That's it. I'm done. That sound you hear is the Howard brothers rolling in their graves.

I hope you'll be joining me in avoiding this movie like the plague. Of course, I could be wrong and it might end up being hilarious. But something tells me that I'm not wrong and this film will be a boil on the ass of all that is funny. 

Gee - I wonder how I really feel about it?

If you're wondering what a funny Three Stooges movie is like, watch this famous scene featuring Curly and some very fresh oyster stew:

On a side note - While working at a Philadelphia department store in the 1990's, I met and befriended Larry Fine's sister. When she learned I was a fan, she started visiting regularly, often slipping me passes to the annual Stooge's convention. Sadly, I could never attend. I imagine she has joined her brother in the Great Beyond by now, but it was nice to know she appreciated someone who appreciated her brother. 

More, anon.

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