Do Over: Hot Super Edition.

Let's try this again, shall we? This post's original title was "Supers Hot" but after the great Firefox Fail of 2011, I tweaked it.

This weekend sees the first of three in Marvel's Avengers saga, Thor. Relative newcomer Chris Hemsworth stars as one of Stan Lee's odder Supers, in that he is neither human nor alien, but an actual Norse god trapped on Earth. My only associations to the character are the 70's Saturday cartoon version and an astonishingly young and gorgeous Vincent D'Onofrio in Adventures in Baby Sitting, which leaves me actually looking forward to seeing what a director like Kenneth Brannaugh does with material that is probably among the more absurd Super Heroes in the Marvel universe.

Marvel also has another specimen of male perfection in Captain America: The First Avenger. Starring the stunnningness that is Chris Evans (above) as Steve Rogers/Captain America, a 90 lb weakling who forgoes Charles Atlas and volunteers for a secret military experiment to create a Super Soldier Ironically, there's an iconic cover featuring Cap punching Hitler in the face. And if I remember, weren't Addie and Hermie actually trying to create a race of Ubermensch ? Anyway, Captain America has been since WWII and has almost as long a history as Superman. Like many comic book Supers, Steve Rogers is no longer the Captain in the current version of the comic, having been replaced at least once, but I couldn't tell you by whom. Hit-or-Miss director Joe Johnston has his work cut out for him in tying in a character from a different era into the set-in-the present Avengers. Of course, I've had my eye on Evans ever since his debut in Larry Cohen's ridiculous but thoroughly entertaining Cellular, which also starred My Obsession. Evans just gets better and better... and his acting has improved, as well... (rimshot). Watch this while I go cool off:

And Marvel competitor, DC isn't sitting out the summer. The also stunning Ryan Reynolds is Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern. After an alien crash lands on Earth, Jordan finds himself in possession of a mysterious ring and lamp, which the dying ET in the UFO says chose him. Hal has been designated arth's Green Lantern, one of thousands throughout the Universe. The mostly green-screen and CGI movie also stars Peter Sarsgaard; Mark Strong; Geoffrey Rush and Tim Robbins. 

Reynolds may not be the best actor in the world, but he's not terrible. And I know lots of folks who could spend hours just looking at him.... Too bad the costume is CGI, too. Then again, Ryan in real tights might just be too much to handle in a mature and respectful manner. The latest trailer makes Green Lantern look pretty a-frickin-mazing:

And while not exactly a comic book hero, pulp writer Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian has been resurrected in the form of Pacific Islander Jason Mamoa, who could be rocketed to stardom (like Conan's first portrayer who went on to something... um...I want to say politcal? Conversely, he could be starring in his one and only major studio film. 

Mamoa was on "Baywatch," I guess. He had bad dreds, from all the pictures I could find. And he wasn't nearly as big. There's something about the shape of his eyebrows that bothers me, but they may just be enhanced for "barbaric" effect. And of course, it's not like they would be a deal-breaker, if you know what I mean. Mamoa's amazing body certainly looks more natural than the former Governor's did in the same role. Of course, 10 minutes with Mamoa's trainer would in all likelihood literally kill Uncle P. And then where would all of you be left? Sigh...

I hope you watched all those in Full Screen. And I hope you all realized that this Summer is the kind of summer gay fanboys dream about...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Placeholder You'll See This Week

Ryan James Yezak's gay Karaoke lip-dub version of Rhianna's 'Only Girl (In the World);" 'Only Gay In the World' is pretty sexy -- not to mention completely gratuitous - but I don't care... Enjoy...

More...

P

AUGH!!!!!!!!!

Firefox crashed and lost over an hour's worth of writing, copy/pasting, linking and embedding regardless of how many times I clicked "Save."

It's late. I'll try again tomorrow night (well, tonight, technically... I guess...)

More, anon
Prospero

Brainwashing Schmaimwashing

There's that good ole biblical scrub brush, trying to remove logic and free-thought from the minds of the faithful. And it seems to work pretty well, especially on the uneducated and the young, as evidenced by the video you are about to see.

My hilarious co-worker Mia (who made me the amazing Teddy Z) sent me this video, knowing I would find it both hysterically funny and deeply disturbing at the same time. It was uploaded to YouTube this past April, but imagine it was made in the mid 90's, when every white kid wanted to be Eminem (even the one's who weren't allowed to swear or rap about stuffing their girlfriends into the trunk of car and driving it off a bridge). Enjoy (if that's the right word) "Nu Thang" as performed by a talentless young man who no doubt rues the day this thang went viral:

My favorite comment on YouTube? "This may be the strongest argument that there is no God."  For Uncle P, it's the strongest argument against making kids go to church for hours on end and screaming Bible verses and tales of damnation at them until there are so filled with the "Holy Spirit" they produce crap like that video. I think going to church should be like drinking alcohol; no one under the age of 21 allowed. Kids' brains are mush, ready to believe whatever crap you throw at them: Santa Claus; the Easter Bunny; the Tooth Fairy and an invisible omniscient being who rules the Universe and demands your devotion and obeisance without a shred of proof of his existence. 

Of course, the most egregious example of these techniques are used against LGBTQ kids whose parents can't believe their loins may have produced something their own brainwashing has convinced them is EVIL... These poor kids are forced to attend mental laundromats where they are supposedly 'cured' of being gay. And there's a new documentary about such so-called "Ex-Gay" ministries. This Is What Love in Action Looks Like will premiere at the San Francisco LGBT Film Festival this June (via). It tells the story of Zach, who at the age of 16, was sent to just such a camp by his parents in 2005. 

These people make me so angry. Despite the fact the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from their list of mental disorders over 40 years ago, these nut jobs think LGBT kids can "pray the gay away." Reputable psychologists and psychiatrists all agree that these programs do much more harm than good and that a person's sexuality is no more changeable than a shark's need to feed.

Okay - I'll admit I've been on an anti-religion kick of late. But these jerks just make me so crazy with their ignorance, fear and hate disguised as "the love of Jesus." I need a palate cleanser. I know - how about 1999's But I'm a Cheerleader starring Natasha Lyonne; Michelle Williams; Bud Cort; Mink Stole; Clea Duvall; Melanie Lynsky; Eddie Cibrian; RuPaul; Julie Delpy and the amazing Cathy Moriarity in a veritable Who's Who of Indy Film actors.

There. That's better.

More, anon.
Prospero

Casting Hell

Counting backwards, I have directed 10 out of the last 12 shows in which I have been involved. I held auditions today for the 11th... and I hated it.

Charles Busch's Die Mommie Die! should have been an easy show to cast. Indeed, we (The James Tolin Memorial Fund) chose the show in part because we knew we had an actor in our regular talent pool who could play the lead role. I had already cast 5 of the 6 parts in the show and as recently as February, I only needed one actor to complete the cast, Then (as is often the case with a JTMF show), all hell broke loose. My lead dropped out because of work conflicts and the young lady I had cast as Edith informed me that commuting from NYC would be an obstacle. So, as we are often forced to do, we held auditions for the three open roles.

Our first two auditioners filled the most difficult roles to cast quite easily - a surprising development which left my producer and I in good spirits. The only role left was one that would be the easiest to cast: a young woman in early 20's. But the women came to read for me highly were unlikely candidates. Finally, just as we were about to call every actress we knew who would be right for the part, our last appointment of the day showed up - she was perfect. She was the right age, she had the right look and her audition was the best we'd seen all day. I immediately offered her the part, and she accepted. My producer and I were thrilled. The show was cast! Hurrah! 

Then I came home to find an email from the actress I originally wanted to play the part, telling me that her circumstances had changed and she would be available after all. AUGH! (as a certain Charles Shulz character is wont to say.  Still- the decision has been rendered; the role has been cast and the actress I wanted is SOL... Now I'm left with the unenviable task of telling her that she missed the boat... yuck! 

Still, I can't complain. I've found a talented new actress who will be very good in the part and I have what will undoubtedly be an amazing cast for what is sure to be another amazing JTMF show. I just hate the thought of telling my first choice that she is no longer part of the show. So I have to ask my readers, how would you deliver bad news like this?

More, anon.

Prospero

There's Still Hope...

Yesterday's Royal Pain in the Ass Wedding broke the hearts of millions of hopeful princesses around the world. But that doesn't mean they should despair. There are still plenty of attractive, wealthy and single royals to stalk pursue...

To your left is the rather amazingly gorgeous Carl Philip, Prince of Sweden. The soon-to-be 32 year-old son of King Carl XVI Gustav and Queen Silvia is undoubtedly Europe's hottest royal bachelor and still unattached. He has previously been romantically linked to PR maven Emma Pernald and model Sofia Helqvist. Of course, Uncle P and several of my Facebook friends wouldn't mind if we were romantically linked with Carl Philip.

Then there's 24 year-old cutie-pi,e Prince Philippos of Greece and Denmark. There isn't much to tell about the baby-faced Prince, who attended Georgetown University, among several colleges. If Philippos is a bit too young, there's always 27 year-old Prince Amedeo of Belgium. Currently working at Deloitte in NYC, Amedeo has managed to keep a rather low profile, as well.

Not good enough? There are always Princess Grace's grandsons. The sons of Princess Caroline of Monaco, Pierre and Andrea Casiraghi are 23 and 26, respectively. Rich, single and the descendants of an American actress who married well, Pierre and Andrea have done a much better job of staying out of the tabloids than their mother and aunt.  If their uncle, Prince Albert II (whom I always assumed was gay) does not produce a legitimate heir with his fiance, South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock, then Andrea will assume the throne.

And lets not forget William's brother, Prince Henry "Harry" of Wales. The ginger lad has developed a reputation as a hell-raiser of sorts, having infamously appeared in a Nazi uniform at a Halloween party and licking a mate's nipple during a drunken revel... The closest any gay man might get to the House of Windsor, Harry has had an on-again/off-again relationship with the rather skanky-looking socialite Chelsy Davy, a beard if ever I saw one...

Last, but not least, there's Sheik Rashed bin Mohammed, the 28 year-old Prince of Dubai. Worth over $12B (yes, Billion), the young Arabian prince is not only adorable, but athletic and the heir to the throne of one of the richest countries on Earth. Damn!

While it is highly unlikely that you or I will ever even meet these bachelor princes, we can all dream, right? As the long-defunct drive-through franchise Photomat once promised - Someday, my prints will come... Wait. Wut? That may well be the worst joke I've ever posted. Oh, wait - there's still this:

Go to bed, Sleeping Beauty. Prince Charming isn't coming, the wedding is over and you weren't invited...

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week (NSFW Version)

This isn't just the Gayest Thing This Week, but probably the kinkiest thing I have ever (or will ever) post.

There are all sorts of folks who fancy fantasy and fetishwear (say that three times, fast). Slick It Up is a company that specializes in clothing, underwear and assorted 'gear' for men who are into such things. Not that I have ever found such items or practices to be particularly enjoyable - the whole thing seems a bit claustrophobic for my taste. And not that I would judge or belittle anyone who is into that scene. Whatever floats your boat, as long as all parties are mutually agreeable and no one gets hurt.

I suppose my biggest misconception about this particular group of people is that they all take it so deadly serious. Have you ever seen a 'Miss Heather' episode of "C.S.I.?" Never has the profundity of B & D been so emphasized as when Grissom and Heather get into a discussion about the diverse nature of human sexuality.

But when I stumbled across the below commercial for Slick It Up, I couldn't help but notice how funny it was. Even the tattoo-skulled French gay porn star Francios Sagat (L.A. Zombie; Saw VI) has his tongue firmly planted in (facial) cheek for this one (probably NSFW):

I don't know about you, but I find it rather refreshing to see fetishists who have a sense of humor. Honestly, if anything about the Human Condition is funny, it's sex. And there's probably nothing funnier than weird sex in outrageous costumes. 

As for Uncle P, there is almost nothing funnier than people in mascot costumes falling down. The stupid, unchanging smile on the face of the mascot head totally belies the look of confusion, fear and disorientation on the face of the person beneath it. I made mention of this on a comment at my dear friend Stephen's blog Post Apocalyptic Bohemian just yesterday, when he blogged about the birthday of Harper Lee. As I shared with him and his reader's, it all started with the scene in "To Kill a Mockingbird" in which Scout runs home in a ham costume, the thought of which I found endlessly hilarious even though it was hardly meant to be funny.

And tell the truth now - can you look at a guy in a black rubber poodle costume and not laugh? I thought not.

More, anon.

Prospero