Chupacabra

An abbreviated recap tonight. Uncle P is tired after a long day of listening to crybabies who were too stupid or too lazy to care about deadlines. As with every TWD recap, HERE THERE BE SPOILERS:

After a prologue set in a massive traffic jam where we see the military bombing Atlanta, the search for Sophia continues. Using a new grid based on Daryl's findings at the abandoned house, the group splits up into three parties: Rick and Shane; Andrea T-Bone and Jimmy and Daryl on his own. We learn that while Daryl was once lost in the woods, he claimed to have seen a chupacabra (literally Spanish for "goat sucker"), though no one believed him. Young Jimmy lies to Rick, saying he has Herchel's permission to go. Daryl "borrows' a horse while Glenn and Maggie play head games. Carol decides it would be a nice gesture to offer to cook dinner for everyone, though she really just wants to cook in a 'real kitchen" (Hello? The 1950's called - they want their subservient housewives back).

Shane and Rick get into a discussion about the search for Sophia (Shane wants to stop and move on; Rick wants to keep looking) while Daryl finds Sophia's doll in the creek before a rattlesnake spooks his horse, which rears and sends him plummeting down a ravine into the creek, impaling him on his own arrow in the process. He then hallucinates a conversation with his brother Merle (we know it's not really Merle because he has both of hands) before waking up to find a Walker gnawing on his shoe. Using his walking stick to bash the Walker's head in, Daryl then pulls the arrow out of side and loads it into his crossbow in time to take out another Walker that is quickly advancing upon him. He then eats a raw squirrel.

Glenn and Dale have a "father/son" discussion about menses and "crazy women," in which Dale admonishes him for having sex with their host's daughter. Meanwhile, Lori hasn't told anyone she's pregnant and asks Glenn to keep he secret. Rick and Shane return early from their search, and Rick tells Lori he's had a long talk with Shane. From the look on Lori's face, it's obvious she's afraid Shane told Rick about their affair while they thought Rick was dead. Instead, Rick tells her about Shane wanting to abandon the search for Sophia. 

The faux-Merle taunts Daryl into climbing out of the ravine, teasing him about having eaten "magic mushrooms" before seeing the chupacabra and calling him a girl for not being able to climb out of the ravine. Daryl makes it out and then makes his way back to the farm where Andrea, tired of washing clothes, takes up a rifle and mistakes him for a Walker. Luckily, her shot only grazes the side of his head. Patching Daryl up, Herchel complains that they are using up their antibiotics, this after admonishing  Rick for not being in control of his people. 

Later, during a tension-filled and mostly silent dinner (before which Herchel talked to Maggie about her interest in "the Asian boy"), Maggie passes a note to Glenn that reads: "Tonight... Where?" Glenn scribbles his reply under Herchel's watchful eye. Carol brings dinner to Daryl and thanks him for doing more that day than her father ever did his entire life. 

While putting the dinner dishes away, Maggie surreptitiously reads Glenn's response: "Have you ever done it in a hay loft?" We see Glenn climbing into the locked barn's loft where he finds the barn filled with dozens of Walkers. Maggie races to the barn. As Glenn is about to flee in terror, Maggie shows up, telling hm "You weren't supposed to know about this." And there the episode ends, with the Walkers pressing against the locked barn's doors, desperate to escape and feed.

We know Herchel believes there will be a cure, and that he prefers that he alone handles any Walkers that appear on the property. But the Walkers in the barn are an unexpected twist. Will Glenn tell the others about them? Will they decide to pick up and move on? When will Lori tell Rick about the baby? Whose baby is it? And will we ever see Sophia again? 

Next week's episode is the mid-season finale and I can't wait to see what happens. Unlike many, I am not at all unsettled by this season's slower paced plot. I know there is plenty of horror yet to come:

More, anon.
Prospero

How Did This Happen?

I am not a sports fan, by any means. In fact, I hate football. But this post isn't about football. This post is about pain; betrayal; indifference; criminal behavior and a particularly vile human being.

Yes, Joe Paterno led the winningest college football team of all time for more years than I've been alive. That's something to be proud of, I guess. But at what cost?

When the scandal first broke, many of my friends and co-workers were stunned. I was horrified. You all know the details, I'm sure. Jerry Sandusky, a married man with children and former assistant coach at Penn State, has been accused of molesting boys he mentored as part of the Second Mile Foundation, a charity he founded. Some of these boys were as young as seven years-old!

Sandusky was caught twice; once by a janitor in 2000 and again by Graduate Assistant Mike McQueary in 2002. Neither of them went to the police. The janitor, Jim Calhoun, told a co-worker but feared for his job. McQueary went to Paterno, who in turn reported the incident to his supervisor. NO ONE went to the police and neither of the men tried to intervene, even though they walked in on Sandusky while he was raping a young boy. Yes, you read that correctly. The two men walked in on the acts, but neither tried to stop them. WHAT?!?

There are so many things wrong about this whole mess, I can't even begin to count them. And just as sickening as the abuse, is the cover-up. Why has it taken 11 years for this to come to light? Why was Sandusky allowed access to these children? Why didn't anyone call the police? Jesus wept!

To me, there is nothing worse than the abuse of a child; be it mental, physical, emotional or sexual. As far as I am concerned, Sandusky should be castrated and locked away alone in a dark room for the rest of his life. As for Paterno and the others who have lost their jobs, I don't feel sorry for a single one of them. It's called "silent assent" and by not reporting the abuse to the police immediately, they are just as culpable. 

And of course, homophobic a-holes are using the whole thing to make the point that gay men are pedophiles, which just makes me angrier at Sandusky. The truth is, pedophilia has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Still, creeps like Bryan Brown, Maggie Gallagher and Rick Santorum will use the situation to promote their anti-gay platforms, despite every report which confirms that sexual orientation is never the motivator in such cases.

Everybody loses here. Paterno; the former President of Penn State; McQueary; Penn State students and players; Penn State fans and supporters, and the LGBT community. Of course, those most hurt -- the victims of Sandusky's assaults -- are the ones we should be concentrating on. These poor kids will never trust an authority figure again. And can you blame them? No. Blame Sandusky and everyone else who lied and covered for him. I  have absolutely zero sympathy for those who ruined their own lives by doing nothing to stop a monster from destroying the innocence of so many. In fact, the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.

OK - another rant over, though I'm sure as more details come to light, I'll be angrier and angrier about the whole thing.

More, anon.

Prospero

Mutual of Pennsylvania's Wild Kingdom

I live in the suburbs in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. I don't live in the woods, the mountains or the swamps. Manicured lawns and maple trees; garden gnomes and rosebushes are de riguer. Many of the homes in my neighborhood look very much alike and are relatively close together. For the most part, squirrels (I HATE squirrels), bunnies and feral cats are the wildest animals with which one might usually come into contact here. 

Recently, that has changed, and I am not sure why.

Last week, I came home from rehearsal for A Christmas Carol and pulled into my driveway to find an animal lurking beneath my bird feeder. As I turned off my engine, the animal moved and I saw that it was a skunk. Yikes!

I waited a moment and then slowly opened my car door, hoping the noise wouldn't startle it. The skunk rose and looked at the car, then slowly waddled off under the fence into my back yard, much to my relief. Then, not ten minutes ago, I went out to put something in the recycling bin, only to be greeted by a hissing opossum, it's red eyes glaring at me with undoubtedly evil intent. I dumped my empty and well-rinsed peanut butter jar into the bin and slowly backed away as the hideous marsupial slunk away into the night.

Yes, I know that bird feeders often attract animals other than birds. And until recently, those have included aforementioned squirrels, bunnies and feral cats. So why the addition of more 'exotic' wildlife? Is there some sort of animal pipeline that announces the presence of free food? What's next, a bobcat? Or maybe a coyote? 

While I love most animals and appreciate their necessity in the whole "circle of life" thing, I just wish they would stay out my yard. Is that so much to ask?

If only all wildlife were so polite.

More, anon.
Prospero

"AHS" by Request

Uncle P has only ever done one post by request before, and then it was simply a title that was requested. But when a friend publicly challenged me on Facebook, I felt I had no choice but to respond. So, here is the first content-requested post on Caliban's Revenge.

When it premiered last month, I immediately fell in love with FX's "American Horror Story," though a few folks took some time to warm up to it (Mr. Romano? I'm talking to you). As the story has progressed, the mysteries have only deepened, though we have been given more and more information about the house and its history with every episode. We know who the last owners were (who knew Zachary Quinto would be so good as a bitchy queen?) and have some insight into the first owners (a drug-addled abortionist and his status-hungry wife). We've learned that the alternately frumpy/sexy maid was murdered by the next door neighbor and that a pair of nursing students were killed by a psychopath who hated nurses. We've watched psychiatrist Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott) slowly lose his mind; bury his former lover under a gazebo he built to hide her grave and drive the most boring woman in the world to attempt suicide. We know that his wife Vivien (Connie Britton) hates him; is pregnant with a child that is... (well, we'll talk about that in a moment) and is desperate to sell the house. We've seen their emotionally disturbed daughter Violet (Taissa Farmiga) cut herself to relieve her emotional pain. And we've seen their possibly insane neighbor Constance (the incomparable Jessica Lange) make cupcakes laced with Syrup of Ipecac (among other unpleasant things).

This week's episode gave us all kinds of answers (while asking more questions). We now know that Ben's patient Tate (Evan Peters), perpetrated a Columbine-style school shooting and is actually one of the many ghosts haunting the house. We also know why the ultrasound technician fainted; that Tate is/was another of Constance's children; why Constance told Moira "Don't make me kill you again" and (maybe) why the house is obsessed with babies. Of course, we haven't been told who (or what) the 'Rubber Man' is or what the fang-toothed, long-clawed monster lurking in the basement may be. And what of burn-scarred Larry and the truth about his back story? This week's most disturbing moment? Well, that had to be the scene in which Vivien eats a raw brain with relish, only to find herself puzzled at having done so. Of course, the subplot involving Ben's latest patient ("Modern Family" alum Eric Stonestreet) as a man terrified of urban legends, ended with a deliciously ironic "Twilight Zone" twist ("Here, piggy-piggy-pig-pig!"). And we now also know that Vivien may actually be carrying a demon child.

Referencing classic horror movies like The Haunting; Psycho; Rosemary's Baby; A Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween (among others) while adding it's own twists, "American Horror Story" pushes the envelope unlike any other show on television. Disturbing; creepy; gross; sexy and just plain weird, "American Horror Story" may actually supplant "The Walking Dead" and "Fringe" as my TV favorite show. If you are a regular reader of Caliban's Revenge and aren't watching "AHS," you should be.

It has already been reported that "AHS" has been picked up for a second season. I only hope the showrunners can maintain the creepy and often terrifying atmosphere they've managed to create in these first few episodes.

 
More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

That's Major League Soccer player David Testo in a still from an interview with the CBC's Radio Canada, coming out publicly. OutSports.com has the story (via). Testo, who until recently played for the Montreal Impact, was a soccer star at both the University of South Carlina and North Carolina and played professionally for the Richmond Kickers and the Columbus Crew before being drafted by the Vancouver Whitecaps. He was just let go by Montreal and is looking for a new team. He says he regrets not coming out sooner and that living as a closeted gay man was "incredibly difficult" (Ya think?).

Uncle P has always thought that soccer (while boring as hell) has the hottest players. I can only hope that other gay athletes will follow Mr. Testo's lead and come out. The more that do, the easier it will get for others who are afraid, including LGBT youth who need as many inspirational folks to whom they look up, as possible. It really is getting better...

In other LGBT news, the Senate Judiciary Committee approved the "Respect for Marriage Act" in a 10 to 8 vote, moving the repeal of DOMA that much closer to reality. Of course, the repeal of DOMA would pave the way for national Marriage Equality. I am sure that the morons at NOM are having apoplectic fits over this news. You can read all about it over at Towleroad.

Finally, while not particularly gay, TV's gayest show "Glee" has an upcoming mashup of gay icon Adele's "Rumor Has It" and "Someone Like You" featured on next week's episode (Hmm... maybe it's pretty gay, afterall). Anyway, gorgeous "Glee" cast members Amber Riley ('Mercedes') and Naya Rivera ('Santana') tear it up:

Wow! After this week's "West Side Story" episode, I can't wait to see next week's show. 

More, anon.
Prospero

Writing for Me

Man, I miss 'Calvin and Hobbes.' It always made me wonder how Bill Waterston was able to access by childhood.

Any-who... I've decided to take a night to work on that damned screenplay and try and to figure out an Act III that makes sense and wraps the whole thing up. I've already dumped two attempts. Of course, I keep having dreams that have potential of becoming screenplays that are totally unrelated to the one I'm trying to finish. 

All this, of course, while directing and acting in a new show. 

All hell is breaking loose in the very scary place that is my mind. Let's just hope that translates to the page.

More, anon.
Prospero

Turn Off the Weird

All over the place in weird and odd entertainment news today. Let's start with news (via) that megalomaniacal director Julie Taymor is now suing the producers of the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. After months of accidents and horrible pre-opening reviews, Taymor was fired from the show and replaced by director Phillip McKinley (The Boy from Oz). The Guild of Directors and Choreographers has filed the suit on her behalf, claiming the show (which is raking in over $1M a week) has failed to compensate her for continued use of her work and is seeking $300,000.00.  Long-time readers know how I feel about this entire project. I have not seen the show in any of its incarnations (nor do I ever intend to do so), so I have no idea how much of Taymor's work is actually used in the production that is running now. I do know she co-wrote the original book, but a writer from Marvel was brought in to fix it after she 'left.' Still, it seems to me that $300k is a measly price to pay to be rid of her, once and for all. If I were her, knowing that I'll probably never work on Broadway again, I'd ask for more.

Speaking of megalomaniacal directors, creepy Brett Ratner (the man who single-handedly ruined the X-Men franchise), has resigned as producer of the 2012 Oscars after making a homophobic slur at a question and answer session following the premiere of his latest cinematic turd, Tower Heist. When asked about rehearsals for the film, Ratboy replied "Rehearsals are for f*gs." He then went on Howard Stern's satellite radio program where he claimed (among other things) that he was "very, very good" at performing a certain oral sex act with women. After some pressure from GLAAD, he issued a lame apology. Today, after many LGBT reporters, industry insiders and performers called for his firing, he resigned, saying in part (via):

"So many artists and craftspeople in our business are members of the LGBT community, and it pains me deeply that I may have hurt them. I should have known this all along, but at least I know it now: words do matter. Having love in your heart doesn’t count for much if what comes out of your mouth is ugly and bigoted. With this in mind, and to all those who understandably feel that apologies are not enough, please know that I will be taking real action over the coming weeks and months in an effort to do everything I can both professionally and personally to help stamp out the kind of thoughtless bigotry I’ve so foolishly perpetuated.

"As a first step, I called Tom Sherak this morning and resigned as a producer of the 84th Academy Awards telecast. Being asked to help put on the Oscar show was the proudest moment of my career. But as painful as this may be for me, it would be worse if my association with the show were to be a distraction from the Academy and the high ideals it represents."

I say: "Good riddance to bad rubbish." The man is a pig. He looks like he smells bad and I have never seen a single one of his films that I could, in good conscience, recommend. Really - does this look remotely funny to you?

In other lawsuits (also via), an Oregon man named Bilal Ahmed is suing Lionsgate over use of his image in the 2010 Russell Crowe (another Hollywood asshat) film The Next Three Days (I barely remember it existed, too). Ahmed claims that since his picture was used without his authorization in a group of photos depicting terrorists, his job prospects have been diminished and he has been forced to change his appearance (cutting his hair and beard) so that he won't be associated with actual terrorists. There's no indication as to where the filmmakers got his photo. Here's the trailer for the movie from overrated director Paul Haggis (Crash):

And finally, while not an Industry related story, this sounds like the plot of a horror movie. 45 year-old Russian historian Anatoly Moskvin has been arrested after he was discovered to have the remains of 29 young women in his Moscow apartment, dressed in brightly colored clothing and posed in a bizarre tableau. The Miami Herald reports that Moskvin had several books on doll making and was caught after a long investigation into a series of grave-robberies in the city. A linguist and expert on Celtic culture, Moskvin reportedly claimed that his fascination with the dead started when he was a boy and was forced to kiss the corpse of a young girl in a passing funeral procession. Eeeeeewwwwwww!

Well, I hope I haven't given you (or myself) bad dreams, with that last item. If I did, I apologize in advance.

More. anon.

Prospero