The Literal Title Repertory Company Presents:

Baby in a Non-Heat Resistant Cat Costume

I squarely place the blame for this post and any actual other material that comes out of this very bad idea, on my dear Stephen R. at Post Apocalyptic Bomehian for everything you are about to read. Not that Stephen is a bad person. Far from it (at least, as far as I know - we've not actually met in person - though I will rectify that, some day). From both his blog and our personal correspondence, Stephen is sweet, kind, artistic and very much in love his with his husband, 'the Husband.' Like Uncle P, Stephen has lived a life of show. Born in a trunk with greasepaint in our veins and all that. 

Recently, Stephen posted a picture of his dog Lulu wearing a muzzle (on her way to the vet, I must assume). He claimed to be mounting a backyard production of an all-canine version of Silence of the Lambs starring his dog as Lulu Lecter. Needless to say, regular readers know that mind is a dark and scary world and by combining Silence... with adorable doggies, Mr R. set off an unstoppable chain-reaction that resulted in my replying to his post the with following:

"Funny. I'm directing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof for the Literal Title Repertory. And no, we aren't using real cats. How cruel would it be to put a cat on a real hot tin roof? We're not monsters, for God's sake! Instead, we're using black market babies in heat-resistant cat costumes. It gets those bastards at PETA off our backs, at least." 

Now you can take that one of two ways. You can think that I am a horrible; sick; aberrant; vile; loathsome pervert. Or you understand that I don't actually mean any of that and know that in real life, I would never hurt a child or an animal in any way. If you reacted the right way, you also understand that now that I've started a thread, I have no choice but to ask you what other plays should the Literal Title Rep take on in our inaugural season? And how should they be staged?

Now, to be honest, this isn't an original idea. It had it's origins in a 1998 production of Love! Valour! Compassion! and the twisted humor of gay men waiting in their dressing room to go on stage and get naked. I'm not sure how it all started, but we somehow created  the Hitler Youth Theatre and a list of musicals they'd produced, including "Maim;" "Eine Kline Nachtmusik;" and "A Firing Squad Line," among others. Sick? Maybe. Okay - probably. Alright, alright! Yes! Funny? Maybe you had to be there. 

Anyway - leave me your suggestions in the comments, please.

Here's a little something or two to get the wheels turning:

Okay - I know. Those both fit Stephen's theme, better than mine. Whatever...

More, anon.
Prospero

Mutual of Pennsylvania's Wild Kingdom

I live in the suburbs in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. I don't live in the woods, the mountains or the swamps. Manicured lawns and maple trees; garden gnomes and rosebushes are de riguer. Many of the homes in my neighborhood look very much alike and are relatively close together. For the most part, squirrels (I HATE squirrels), bunnies and feral cats are the wildest animals with which one might usually come into contact here. 

Recently, that has changed, and I am not sure why.

Last week, I came home from rehearsal for A Christmas Carol and pulled into my driveway to find an animal lurking beneath my bird feeder. As I turned off my engine, the animal moved and I saw that it was a skunk. Yikes!

I waited a moment and then slowly opened my car door, hoping the noise wouldn't startle it. The skunk rose and looked at the car, then slowly waddled off under the fence into my back yard, much to my relief. Then, not ten minutes ago, I went out to put something in the recycling bin, only to be greeted by a hissing opossum, it's red eyes glaring at me with undoubtedly evil intent. I dumped my empty and well-rinsed peanut butter jar into the bin and slowly backed away as the hideous marsupial slunk away into the night.

Yes, I know that bird feeders often attract animals other than birds. And until recently, those have included aforementioned squirrels, bunnies and feral cats. So why the addition of more 'exotic' wildlife? Is there some sort of animal pipeline that announces the presence of free food? What's next, a bobcat? Or maybe a coyote? 

While I love most animals and appreciate their necessity in the whole "circle of life" thing, I just wish they would stay out my yard. Is that so much to ask?

If only all wildlife were so polite.

More, anon.
Prospero