DVD Review: "The Strangers"

Halloween Week is finally here and what better way to start than with a review of a horror movie? (And of course, since this is Halloween Week, I'll mostly be talking about a horror movies, so get over it).

Anyway, another summer flick I missed was The Strangers starring Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman in the story of a young couple terrorized by three strangers in a remote country home. Tyler and Speedman play James and Kristen, returning to James' family summer house after a wedding. It is soon clear that James had proposed to Kristen, who said "No." The two try to salvage what they can of their relationship and are about to have what will no doubt be great make up sex, when a knock comes at the front door (at 4:05 AM, no less). James answers, to find an apparently female figure standing in the shadows, who asks "Is Tamara home?" They send the girl away, explaining that she has the wrong house. The moment ruined, James offers to go get cigarettes for Kristin, knowing that neither of them will sleep, anyway. Once he is is gone, all hell breaks loose as three masked strangers (two women and a man, whose faces are never seen) proceed to terrorize the couple.

Not exactly original stuff, here. But first time writer/director Bryan Bertino is familiar enough with the genre to know a scary movie's best friend is tension, and boy does he pour it on. Creepy squeals and bangs from unknown sources; shadows glimpsed from the corner of the eye; the touch of an unfamiliar hand on the back of the neck - all expertly in play for the first hour of the film. Shot using plenty of hand-helds and claiming to be "inspired by actual events," The Strangers is, for the most part, an effective and creepy addition to films in the vein of Funny Games and last year's underrated Vacancy. Unfortunately, the last twenty minutes of the film are perhaps too over-the-top and turn what had been a relatively smart thriller into little more than a cheap torture-porn shocker.

Tyler (best known for The Lord of the Rings films) is as lovely as ever, but I hated that Bertino didn't give her anything else to really do but be a victim. Her performance was good, but she deserves to play better, more complex characters. The curiously "sometimes-he's-hot-and-sometimes-he's-not" Speedman is on the border here. I didn't quite buy his emotional distress as the guy who got turned down; and he didn't show off enough of his amazing bod to keep my interest (how shallow is that?). The titular characters are only referred to in the credits as "Dollface;" "Pin Up Girl" and "Man in the Mask" and are appropriately scary and completely anonymous as played by Gemma Ward, Laura Margolis and Kip Weeks.

Creepiest moment: tied to a chair after hours of psychological torture, Kristin asks her tormentors, "Why are you doing this to us?" Dollface replies, in a completely detached monotone, "Because you were home." Without a doubt, one of the more effective, if ultimately disappointing horror movies of late. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars)

Something Completely Stupid

I have no idea why this made me laugh so much. Maybe it's because I love Jonathan Togo (the poor man's Jake from CSI:Miami) or maybe because every once in a while, you just need something completely stupid to make you laugh at the end of a crappy day.

What ever the reason, I give you: My Best Friend is my Penis (not safe for conservative workplaces)

Or copy and paste: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/best_friend_101/

DVD Review: "Iron Man"

May tends to be a very busy month for me - it's the middle of rehearsal and running around and mailings and a gazillion other things for the annual James Tolin Memorial Fundraiser event. Consequently, for the last six years, I have not seen a single summer tentpole movie that opened in theatres before July 4th. By the time I do have the time to go to the movies, those early starters have been down-sized to the 100-seat auditoriums, and something else is in the big houses with the great big screens and ear-piercing sound-systems. Such was the case with brand new Marvel Studio's first ever movie, Iron Man. Most critics loved it, and I am happy to say that I agree and and hate that I missed it on the giant screen.

For the seven people out there who still haven't seen Iron Man, the story revolves around billionaire genius playboy Tony Stark, who runs his family's weapons company, designing super-high-tech killing machines. While in the middle-east, demonstrating his company's latest mega-weapon "Jericho," Stark is captured by a band of multi-ethnic guerrillas, who hand him over to another prisoner who devises an electromagnet that keeps the shrapnel in Tony's chest from piercing his heart. When the guerrillas demand that Tony build them their own Jericho bomb, he agrees. But what he does is build a super armored exoskeletal robotic suit, powered by Stark's own "impossible" reactor (leaving him with a glowing blue implant in the middle of his chest). The devise also keeps him alive. Escaping his captors using the suit, Tony gets home and realizes the error of his ways (in classic comic-book mythology, such epiphanies are common-place). He announces the closing of the company's weapons division and vows to destroy all the weapons his company ever made. In his lab at home, Tony perfects the suit and by the end of the movie, the press has dubbed him Iron Man and he... well - wouldn't want to spoil.

As played by former tortured bad boy Robert Downey, Jr., Stark makes quite a believable transition to hero. Downey has always been insanely talented, and like many great artists, suffered along the way. I am so happy to see him clean and fit (wow is he fit!) and just having a great time. Stark's Gal Friday (and possible true love), personal assistant Pepper Potts is amiably played by the often ephemeral Gwyneth Paltrow. Paltrow plays Pepper (I'm on an alliteration roll, it seems) as smart, capable and vulnerable - everything a superhero's girlfriend should be. Jeff Bridges is on hand as the improbably named Obadiah "Obi" Stane who, after Stark's father's death, ran the company until Tony turned 21 and is now number two. Stane vehemently opposes the closing of Stark Weapons, and... well, no spoilers. Terrence Howard plays Stark's military liaison. Personally, I don't get Terrence Howard. I have never thought he was particularly great in anything (don't dump the hate - I just don't get it, okay?) and he's weirdly wrong. It has been announced that he has been replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel, who probably should have had the role in the first place. There are a host of terrific character actors - Clark Greg; Tim Guinee; Paul Bettany and a surprisingly "wow-he-grew-up-hot!" Peter Billingsly and a terrific script by Marc Fergus and Hawk Ostby. Director Jon Favreau keeps the pace running along nicely with some very funny physical and verbal comedy (and even finds time to give himself a small role). Early on, Paltrow has one of the funniest and bitchiest lines ever about "taking out the trash" and Tony's flying experiments are hilarious. And Marvel Papa Stan Lee's obligatory cameo is one of his funniest, ever, with Tony confusing Stan with the elderly founder of a well-known girly magazine. The CGI is terrific and Favreau certainly has an eye for action.

I loved Iron Man. Unlike the summer's megasmash other superhero, Iron Man isn't grim and brooding at all. It has a dark moment or two, but it's so damned fun the rest of the time and is exactly what an early summer superhero movie should be. I can't wait to see what Favreau and company come up for the sequel. Iron Man is now third on my list of the summer's best movies. **** (Four out of Four Stars)

(Halloweeen?) Dreams

I had two very different nights of dreaming last night and the night before.

Wednesday night/Thursday morning, I had two very nightmarish dreams. First, I dreamt that I had to retrieve some item or other from the storage space in my house, a room which to which we have always referred as "the unfinished room," simply because that is exactly what it is. Anyway, as I was getting ready to close the door, I noticed a large, horrific bug of some kind scuttling across the plywood flooring. The thing was huge; almost rat-sized and colored unlike anything found in nature in obnoxious shades of red, green, blue and yellow. I thought to myself "That's too horrible to live" and promptly stomped on the hideous thing. But when I raised my foot, I found that I hadn't done it any damage at all. Instead, the little beastie turned about, puffed up and starting squirting something akin to acidic green slime at me. I raised my hands to protect my face and quickly slammed the door shut. Curiously, I felt no pain, but knew instinctively that I had been covered in acid. In the absurd logic of a dream, I next found myself in the shower, watching with detachment as bits of clothing, blood and flesh slid down the tub drain.

After awakening, happy to find myself whole and entimologically unmolested, I checked the time on my alarm clock (4:09 AM), quickly recorded the dream in the black side of my reversible dream diary, rolled over and almost instantly fell back to sleep, assuming that the dream was the result of seasonal influences.

Which is when I had my second nightmare of the morning. A very dear friend's birthday is on Halloween. I bought him a truly hilarious and spot-on present while in Chicago on business and plan to see him sometime next weekend to celebrate. In this dream, he had arrived at my house in preparation for us to go out. I wasn't quite ready to go, so when a knock came on the door, I asked him to get it. He opened the door and before anyone could say anything, a madman burst in and started hacking at my friend with a cleaver. I awoke screaming my friend's name and crying. Now the clock read: 6:47 and my hand trembled as I made another entry into the black side of the book, despite knowing the dream was the result of seasonal (and personal) influences.

Less than immediately, I fell back into a dreamless state until the alarm went off. I went about my day trying to shake both dreams' disturbing qualities. I am sure that both scenarios (or variations thereof) will appear in a future play, screenplay, novel or short-story.

Last night proved to be a very different and surprisingly inspirational night of dreaming. I found myself dragooned into appearing as a costumed-character at an event celibrating the success of a new animated children's show on a prominent kid's cable network. While happy for the extra cash the gig provided, I was annoyed at having to wear a hot and uncomfortable character costume (I've worn my share - they're no fun). But the kids' enthusiasm upon seeing their favorite characters "in the flesh" was almost palpable. Since I plan on actually using the characters in this dream to develop an actual animated children's program, I won't go into detail here, but I will tell you that I am often amazed by the detail one's subconscious can display when inspired. The dream even provided clever character names along with the hilarious visuals. Friends both old, new and yet to be appeared in the dream as well, portraying the other characters from the show.

Thoughts? Am I insane? Do I watch too many movies or drink too much Diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Or am I just a weirdo who has dreams that match the rest of my personality? I know it's a dark and scary place up here, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Your thoughts and comments are always welcomed.

As always, more of this anon.

Prospero

A Variety of Topics

Lots to talk about today. First off is the newest film to top my MUST SEE list for the fall, Were the World Mine, writer/director Tom Gustafson's fantasy about a gay teen in small-minded small town who, while playing Puck in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, discovers a love potion that turns people gay. From the trailer it looks sweet, funny and romantic. See for yourself:

And now a brief update on my birds, Zebina and Zebadiah. As my regular reader (ha) knows, Zebina was purchased for my production of The Skin of Our Teeth, last month. After the show closed, I brought her home and quickly bought her a partner, who I promptly named Zebadiah. Since then, they have gotten along quite well. Last week, I went out and bought them a box of 'nesting material' in the hopes that it would it encourage them to use the wicker nest I had hung inside their cage. Well, it took a while, but Zebadiah finally discovered the cotton fibers and has since fully lined the nest with it. The two now spend much of their time huddled together in the nest and I expect that anytime now I will find tiny Zebra Finch eggs inside and will, for the first time in my life, be able to refer to myself as... wait for it... a 'breeder.' Ha-ha!

And finally, one more word on California's Proposition 8, from my favorite raunchy comedienne, Chelsea Handler:

As always, more of this anon.

Prospero

Bonus Post

As a Halloween treat, enjoy this very weird and kind of disturbing short from 2001:






Prospero

Another Remake

As noted in an earlier post, with very few exceptions, I generally hate remakes. they are rarely as good as the original and usually pointless (see Gus van Sant's ridiculous shot-for-shot remake of Psycho for proof). But, every once in a great while a remake comes along that is actually as good or even better than the original. Today, I saw a teaser trailer for a remake that may well be the exception that proves the rule.



The original version of this movie is terrible. It has horrible acting, super-low budget standards and is notable for only three things: the film debut of Kevin Bacon, amazing physical FX from make-up genius Tom Savini and the seemingly gazillion cheapo sequels (one even in 3D) that followed. But this teaser has me intrigued and I may very well plop down ten of my hard-earned dollars to see it.






As always, more of this anon.
Prospero