Matthew 7:15 or: "The Rise of Gilead"

See You Next Tuesday!

You'll notice I didn't use that crazy-eyes picture of Ms Bachmann for this piece. In fact, I specifically looked for one that was attractive. And there is no doubt, the former Intelligence Committee member (insert your own oxymoron joke here) is an attractive woman. And so is She Who Must Not Be Named. And why is that? Because the Christian Right (which I will forever and ever continue to insist, is neither) is middle America. Breadbasket, small town, Ozzies and Harriets; Beavers and Wallys., who go to work  and school and church and do and believe everything people in authority tell them to do and believe. The people in authority? Well, they'll lie and scare and do anything they can to keep Ozzie and Harriet under their thumbs. The Face of Hate in America isn't a white man under a white hood or a skin-head Neo-Nazi. No, my friends, the Face of Hate in America is Mom. 

Bachmann continues to spread lies about LGBT people (I can only suppose) in the hope that they will get her elected in 2016. They should get her censured, at the least. You can read and /or listen to her most recent offensive comments at Thenewcivilrightsmovement.com, if you are so inclined. Though I must comment on one quote in particular. It is one of the oldest and most proven incorrect lie these hate-fueled dimwits use when trying to justify their hate:

•  "Also, they want to abolish age of consent laws. We would do away with statutory rape laws, so adults would be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”   

This lie continues to be spread by the Right, even though every reputable therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist refutes it. Of course, how can we expect the the truth (or even anything sensible) from a woman who claimed that the HPV vaccine did the following to a 12 year old girl in FL:  "(she)... took that vaccine, that injection -- and suffered from mental retardation thereafter." Really? So, you are using an archaic and generally accepted as offensive word, while blaming the offensive (to you) condition on a medically sound prophylaxis which has been proven safe and effective? Hmmm... so I suppose when you got your Polio suger-cube, you got Polio? I know I did. NOT! (Yeah, immature, I know - but at least I read).

In Margaret Atwood's chilling 1985 novel, "The Handmaid's Tale," America in 2195 has devolved into a dystopian Christian theocracy called The Republic of Gilead, where women (especially unmarried women) have no say over what happens to them. The central character Offred, is the titular 'handmaid,' basically a baby factory for the ruling class. In Atwood's Gilead, LGBT people are labeled 'gender traitors' and hanged. This is exactly what the Right wants, only they don't want to wait another 170 years. They want it now. And they present it as truth. And the weak and uneducated believe them. Because they look like Mom. And so what if Dad is fruitier than you're Uncle P? He can cure himself with 'Reparative Therapy," praise Jebus! Reverend Shambock says it's so! Of course, neither of your two Uncle Ricks' eating habits are helping... 

Listen, I don't care what you believe. Personally, I wish no one believed (because it would end so many conflicts and so much hatred). And yes, I have plenty of friends who are believers of one faith or another. I don't dislike or shun them because of it. And yes, the vast majority of my believer friends are progressive liberals like Uncle P.

 I do care about your politics, though. But when your politics are based on your dogma, you get a very smelly tire fire that needs to put out well-before even coming close to being a problem.

And while I can't speak for any of you (or however many are left, at this point), I refuse to go back in the closet for June effing Cleaver on Zoloft!

Rant over. Enjoy your weekends! 

More, anon.
Prospero

Don't Cry For Him

Pope Depravatio XXV

Today, a bunch of old guys obsessed with sex (because it's forbidden to them) voted for the new leader of their "No Gurlz Alloud" club. The RCC has certainly had a rollercoaster ride in the past few years, hasn't it? Sex scandals are just the tip of the iceberg, kids. And I know that folks are sort of excited that Francis I is the first Pope from South America, but I have have to wonder how the conclave missed the potential for Evita jokes. Seriously - that many Cardinals in the same room all missed the musical theatre reference? I hardly think so.

Jorge Bergoglio isn't exactly a charismatic man, despite his resemblance to "Arrested Development" star Jeffrey Tambor. And yes, he's the first South American Pontiff. At least he doesn't look like Evil Incarnate. Still... 

I just want to play 'Devil's Advocate' (you should excuse the expression - or not - don't care)  here... We know that Ratzeneater was in the Hitler Youth Corps and (allegedly) helped hide pedophile priests from prosecution as a Cardinal. We know that plenty of Nazis fled to South America after WWII; the majority of them taken in by Brazil and Argentina. I'll let the tinfoil hat/truther/ex-gay/abductees among you to draw your own conclusions to that particular setup.

Here's the thing: Nothing is really going to change for the Church (or its progressive members), other than a new PR campaign. Personally, I think it's too little, too late. Americans are abandoning the RCC in record numbers; both disgusted by the sex scandals and disappointed in the Church's refusal to recognize homosexuality as innate. Francis has previously expressed his opinion on gay adoption and marriage, despite the Argentine government's ruling which legalized same sex marriage. They've already begun the spin about Bergoglio's humble roots and his connection to and support of the poor and downtrodden. 

Unless the poor and downtrodden are gay, of course. Oops! How on earth did that slip out?

There are very, very few instances in which Rowan Atkinson (pictured above) has been able to make me laugh. I have honestly just never found him funny in more than one or two instances. That having been said, I can't imagine being sent into fits of hysteria more than by the thought of Atkinson as Pope. Yes, even more than the thought of a falling mascot.

Hocus-Pocus; Alakazaam! If Jorge can't do it; no one can!

Of course, this is the outcome Uncle P was really hoping for:

More, anon.
Prospero