Please Don't Shoot Myrna's Dog

John Daker

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about most religious people. I may think they are silly and misguided, though most of them are decent people with good intentions; inclusive and non-judgmental; loving and fervent in their beliefs. That's fine with me. As long as they don't try to impose their beliefs on me, that's just peachy.

Of course, they are also human, which means they have egos. Egos which lead them - despite their most devout intentions - down the path of derision, ridicule and just plain patheticity (Yes, I made up another word. Deal). These folks truly believe they are doing 'service' to their Lord with these performances, While I have no doubt about their sincerity, their obvious lack of musical talent far surpasses the messages they are trying to import.

A few years back, I stumbled upon the video below and shared it during the Holidays. I remember commenting that poor Myrna looked as if her dog was being held at gunpoint off-camera, which was a reference to former Little Rascals star Jackie Cooper (Superman), who claimed producers threatened to shoot his dog to make him cry on camera.

And I imagine that attorney Michael Clancy wishes this next video never found it's way to YouTube. I'm guessing this is late 80's to early 90's. Ladies and Germs; I give you young, white, untalented Christian rapper Michael Clancy and Nu Thang:

I'm lucky enough to be from a time before video cameras and when the most embarrassing photos are safe inside an album. Poor Mr. Clancy will have this follow him in Cyber Space well beyond his death.

And speaking of things from beyond the grave (rimshot, please), the latest of such performances to pass across my feeds is "My Name is John Daker." Mr. Daker, undoubtedly confident of his presentation before actually shooting, does his best to keep from looking terrified at forgetting nearly every word of both of the songs he was supposed to sing. The fact that neither song has anything  to do with the other makes it all the better (or worse - I'm not sure which).

Oh, dear. Of course, since then, I've discovered two rather genius takes on that clip. First this animated version from cr0uchingtiger:



But best, this 'Daker on Idol' mashup from Erik Hollander:

I really don't have much more to say. I think the clips speak for themselves. No, I'm not 'God.' Yes, I am judging you (well, your performances, anyway) and I find your lack of talent disturbing. Just promise you'll never record yourselves 'singing' again and we're cool. And Myrna - I hope your dog was okay.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Worst Music Videos You'll See This Week

Lexy and Stephany

If nothing else, Uncle P tries to be entertaining. Sometimes that means gorgeous, smart and inspiring. Other times it means hideous, stupid and just plain awful. From the reviews I've read, the Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime Movie "Liz and Dick"* falls into the latter category. As do the videos I have posted below.

The lunatics at BoingBoing pointed me to the "Teen Sensation" duo of Lexy and Stephany, who have apparently been causing some sort of commotion on their YouTube channel. Longtime readers know that Prospero is a bit of a music aficionado and I love introducing people to new and interesting singers and musicians. They also know that I love to point out all sorts of terrible things, so my readers might avoid and/or seek them out. Make no bones about it, Lexy and Stephanie are terrible! And by terrible, I mean bottom of the barrel. I'd rather listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" for a year than hear anything by these two. If given a choice by gunpoint, I'd rather see a Coldplay concert than Lexy and Stephanie. In fact, if given a choice, I'd rather swim in a pool full of snakes, scorpions and spiders...

See and hear for yourselves:

And then there is this:

Are your ears and eyes bleeding, yet? 

Mob mentalities and Black Friday riots at Walmart aside, I think I'd rather get punched in the face than listen to another song by Lexy and Stephany. How did this happen, people? How have two  untalented, prepubescent, braces-clad teens with rich Daddies infiltrated modern pop culture? One can only hope that their fifteen minutes will be mercifully short. And yes -- I can be a bitch, sometimes. But only when warranted.

*Full disclosure: John Elliot is a friend and I have no problem linking to his hilarious review.

More, anon.

Prospero