Vatos

Warning to fans of "The Walking Dead"  - Major Spoilers Ahead!

So, the fourth episode of "The Walking Dead" has aired and the inevitable finally happened; the death of humans at the hands of the walkers. But more on that in a moment.

When we last saw Rick, he; Glenn; TDog and Daryl had gone back to Atlanta to rescue Merle and retrieve the bag of guns Rick lost at the end of episode one, only to find that Merle had escaped his handcuffs by sawing his hand off and Shane had beaten the crap out of Ed the wife beater.

"Vatos" opened with sisters Andrea and Amy (Frozen's Emma Bell) fishing in the quarry, reminiscing about their father and the different fishing techniques he had taught them. The scene served to emphasize that despite their age difference, the sisters were still close. It also brought up feelings about loved ones lost to whatever it was that caused the dead to walk, as Amy expressed hope that whatever had happened might not have been as bad in Florida, where their parents presumably lived. In Alanta, Glenn hatches a plan wherein he and Daryl attempt to rescue the guns, only to be foiled when Daryl is set upon by a young punk., who calls out for hlep in Spanish. A car quickly pulls up and a gang of Latinos nab Glenn and take off, but not before Daryl gets to shoot an arrow in one of their asses.

Back at camp, Dale becomes worried when he finds Jim (Andrew Rothenberg) furiously digging holes in the 100 degree heat. Shane eventually overpowers Jim, who admits he may have suffered heatstroke, but is digging the holes because of a half-remembered dream. Andrea and Amy return with loads of fish and the group plans an old-fashioned fish-fry for dinner. In the city, Rick and company have forced the punk to take them to the gang's headquarters, where they soon discover the gang is simply a group of people caring for folks who were left trapped in a nursing home, afraid that Rick and his band were there to take food and medicine away from them. Rick leaves them weapons and ammo, and as the four return to camp, they discover that Merle has stolen their van.

At dinner, Andrea is concerned because she can't find wrapping paper for the necklace she took from the department store for Amy's birthday, while a bruised and pained Ed refuses to join in for dinner, choosing instead to wallow in his own misery in his tent. As dinner is ending, Amy gets up to pee. Ed finds himself annoyed that someone is still bothering him, only to discover that the figure lurking outside his tent is one of about two dozen walkers who have made their way to the camp. The walker attacks, taking Ed down without time for him to scream in warning. As Amy exits the camper, complaining about the lack of toilet paper, she is grabbed and bitten, much to Andrea's horror. Rick and the others arrive on foot, just in time to take out the walkers, rescuing everyone who hasn't already been bitten (which, by my count was three).

As Amy dies in her sobbing sister's arms, we slowly come to realize that Amy will soon rise, and we are left to wonder how the group will deal with her and the other victims, just as Jim remembers why he was digging the holes.

"Vatos" was the series' most intense episode since the pilot, and served as a stark reminder of just what is at stake in a world where the dead eat the living. The tragedy of Amy's death and the sad nursing home survivors only made it more excruciating for the the survivors (though I can't say I was exactly sad to see Ed go). As gang leader Guillermo (Neil Brown, Jr.) says, nothing has really changed... "The weak get taken."

So what is next for the survivors? They know now that they are no longer safe in the mountains as the food supply in the city dwindles and the walkers set out in search of sustenance. Do they go back into town to the relative safety of the fortified nursing home, or head out in search of even more isolated areas where they are less likely to encounter the walkers? Uncle P, for one, is frustrated that only 2 episodes remain and I will chomping at the bit by the time the new season rolls around next fall. AMC has done what every other network has been looking to do - they've found the next "Lost," damn them!

Oh, and the lovely young lady pictured at the top of this post? She's a walker found wandering the department store upon whose roof Merle had been chained. I laughed, because she isn't really all that dangerous, considering she has no lower jaw... but I still would have taken her out. I'm guessing you would have, as well.

More, anon.

Prospero

Mini-Review: "Due Date"

Matty and I finally managed to get together to see a movie tonight. We had a list of about 6 movies we both wanted to see and finally narrowed it down to Due Date, mostly because we were in the mood to laugh.

Robert Downey, Jr. (Iron Man) stars as uptight architect Peter Highman, who is on his way home to L.A. from Atalanta to attend the birth of his first child. A chance encounter at the airport with wannabe actor Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) leads to both of them ending up on the No-Fly list and forcing them to travel across the country together, much like Steve Martin and John Candy in John Hughes' superior 1987 film Planes, Trains and Automobiles. 

Ethan is obsessed with "Two and a Half Men," carries his father's ashes in a coffee can and is addicted to pot. He thinks the Grand Canyon was man made, the Pilgrims built Hoover Dam and that Shakespeare was a pirate who was actually named 'Shakes Beard.' He's the type of eccentric moron that would have been played by John Candy 30 years ago or Chris Farley 20 years ago. Peter is obsessed with logical thinking and maintaining propriety. He's the kind of priggish, rich asshole that would have been played by Chevy Chase 30 years ago or Steve Martin 20 years ago (when they were both still funny).

Due Date is a raunchier version of the kind of mismatched buddy picture we've seen a hundred times before, but filled with masturbation and pot jokes. Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers) is on hand as a "pharmacist" and Jamie Fox (Ray) is Peter's pro football buddy. Sadly none of them can save this cliche-ridden picture from its own mediocrity. Happily, Galifianakis' performance is just sweet and vulnerable enough to make it tolerable. Downey is fine, though his character is so despicably nasty, one wonders why a wide-eyed optimist like Ethan would want to spend time with him. Director Todd Phillips (The Hangover) keeps things moving along at a brisk pace, though the script (by Phillips and three other writers) barely stops long enough to explain why the two choose to stay together all the way to Los Angeles. Amusing at best, Due Date is the kind of movie where you park your brain at the ticket booth and just go along for the ridiculous ride and appreciate the most ridiculous moments for what they are. ** (Two Out of  Four Stars).

I must, however, once again object to parents who bring their children to age-inappropriate films. Seated in front of us were a mother and four kids, none of whom were more than 12. Due Date is rated "R" for sexual situations, language and drug use. What on Earth possessed this woman to think it was okay to bring these kids to this movie? I know there were moments when she had to feel uncomfortable (I wouldn't have wanted to be part of the conversation on that ride home). And needless to say, the kids talked loudly, got up often and laughed only at the most obvious of jokes. Even I was uncomfortable knowing they were seeing this movie.

Parents, leave your children at home when seeing a movie obviously aimed at adults.

More, anon.

Prospero

Turkey Month Turkey of the Week: "Catwoman"

Poor Halle Berry. Unarguably one of the most beautiful and talented women in Hollywood, she somehow got suckered into starring in this glistening turd of movie.

In the DC Comics' universe, Catwoman is Selina Kyle, a Gotham City jewel thief with a reciprocal crush on the Dark Knight himself, Batman. In this 2004 stinker she's Patience Phillips, a graphic artist working for a cosmetics company run by the evil Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone). When Patience stumbles upon a shameful secret regarding Hedare's latest youth serum, she finds herself in danger. And somehow also finds herself the recipient of mystical powers passed on from Catwomen of the past. What?

Filled with 'ancient Egyptian' hokum; 'girrrrlpower' nonsense and one of the worst costumes in Superhero movie history, Catwoman is undoubtedly the nadir of the Warner Brothers' Batman-related films. Featuring over-the-top performances by Stone as the villain and Benjamin Bratt as the cop/love-interest, Catwoman makes about as much sense as a gorilla wearing a tutu. And what the hell the magnificent Frances Conroy is doing in this movie (other than collecting a paycheck), is beyond me.

Previously, Catwoman has also been portrayed by Julie Newmar; Eartha Kitt; Lee Meriwether and most notably, Michelle Pfieffer (Batman Returns). None of those actresses were nominated for a Razzy, though Berry was. And she showed much grace and humor by actually showing up to accept her award for 'Worst Actress.'

Of course, Catwoman is one of the many villains being bandied about for inclusion in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises. Given the 'realistic' version of Gotham City Nolan has thus-far presented, Catwoman in her original incarnation seems as likely as any other female character in the series. Time will tell...

More, anon.
Prospero

It's a Wonderful Flashmob?

I know, I know... The Turkey of the Week will just have to be on Friday this week. So sue me. I have more important things on my mind right now.

That's the poster for the JTMF's first Winter production, It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play. The graphic artist who does our posters is just terrific and always seems to manage to distill our shows into a single perfect image. I only wish I could remember his name (It's Brian Something-- not to hard for me to forget that much, at least) so I could give him proper credit. I can't wait to see what he comes up with for next summer's production of Die Mommie, Die!

It's been interesting directing such a bare-bones kind of show. We're recreating the experience of seeing a live radio broadcast, just as a studio audience would have seen in the 1940's, complete with a live Foley (sound effects) crew and actors reading from scripts into microphones. The six actors in the show are playing several dozen characters, which means they must create a different voice for each character, not an easy task, even with a script in hand. Four of them are JTMF returnees (with my Dear D setting a JTMF performance record at 6 shows) and two are JTMF virgins, though I know both of them well and most recently directed one of them in Top Girls. Of course, it's the Foley team that will garner all the attention this time around, especially given the myriad props and devices they'll be using, including a miniature door; a massive wind machine; ribbon candy; tubs of water; cornflakes and high-heels. Our first truly family-oriented production is going to be quite a nostalgic treat for those who remember radio broadcasts from the period, and a fascinating look back on the past for those who have grown up with MTV, X-Box and the Internet.  If only I had the time to organize a flashmob to promote the event. 

And (what a segue) speaking of flashmobs, Joyce Maynge (Australia's slightly less glamorous Rupaul) is back with another one of her amazing flashmob events, this time featuring a medley of Kylie Minogue songs on the steps of the Sydney Opera House.

Can you say "fabulous?" Sigh... maybe next summer.I've got 7 months to plan... Anyway, if you are in the Central NJ area and want tickets to see It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play, please visit www.kelseyatmccc.org. For more information about the James Tolin Memorial Fund, please visit www.jtmf.org or search "James Tolin Memorial Fund" on YouTube.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Have no fear, a Turkey Thursday post will follow. Rehearsals for It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play have put me off schedule a bit. And while it is officially Thursday, I haven't been to bed yet, so it's still Wednesday for me.

Anyway, yes that is a casket. And yes, it is covered in homoerotic art. Via Towleroad comes this bizarre final resting place from German designers Mike Konigsfeld and Tom Brandl. Says Konigsfeld, "People are cutting back in the recession but the one group of consumers who still have high spending power are gay couples and very few people are designing for them in this market." And I should imagine for good reason. Personally, every gay and/or straight man I know would be horrified by this tasteless thing, regardless of the images depicted. Sex and death may share a bizarre affinity for one another, but I don't know any sane person who would literally be caught dead in this box, or anything like it. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

And speaking of tacky, have you seen the latest "reality" series on Logo, "The A List?" A disgusting display of everything that middle America finds objectionable about gay people, "The A List" features wealthy, spoiled gay versions of every loathsome, stereotypical rich asshole depicted in shows like "The Hills." I hate them as straight people and hate them even more when they're gay.

If you watch "The A List," you should be ashamed of yourself (though only slightly more than if you watch any other so-called 'reality' show). Recently, Logo announced auditions for "The A List: L.A." and Current TV's hilarious LGBT commentator Bryan Safi took the show to task with his "audition" footage (also via):

Of course, no one should fault Bryan for spelling his name incorrectly... His parents are to blame for that.

More, very anon.
Prospero

A Late (Or Is it Early?) Ramble About My Sister

By now, regular readers know that Uncle P's sister is a baker. She has a side business making custom cakes, cookies and cupcakes for weddings, birthdays and various celebrations that require baked sweets as part of their rituals. She's gotten quite good, though even she will admit she's no Buddy Valastro. Still, she makes some delightful desserts for special occasions and her clients and co-workers love what she does.

Cakes and cookies non-withstanding, Uncle P's sister is also his best friend and one of the very few (if not the only) people who actually 'gets' him. Growing up, even though we were six years apart, we actually shared a "language" which to this day, no one else understands. It's no secret that one of us can utter a word, phrase or a series of nonsense syllables that will have the other writhing in hysterics to the dismay and utter consternation of those around us. Her husband and our mother still roll their eyes at one another when we get going.

Many years ago, my sister and her husband moved to western Florida. Since then, I've tried to visit at least once a year. We take day trips to Disney or Universal (my personal favorite theme park); loll about in the Gulf Coast sun; hit the outlet malls or dine at unusual places and generally act like the kids we never grew out of being when together. Occasionally, my sister will venture north, though she loathes the weather here and would rather our mother and I come South. Last year, due to any number if circumstances (including the extensive renovations required on Uncle P's house), I didn't make my annual visit.

This week, my sister is making a rare northern excursion to attend her 25th High School Reunion, While I am thrilled that she and I will get to spend some time together, I am also secretly hoping that she will get to experience the surreal kind of event that Uncle P had last year at his 30th.

Needless to say, I doubt her experience will be anything like this:

My sister is actually a successful executive at a major corporation, so there! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! While I don't personally care what happens at the reunion, I'm just happy to be able to spend some time with my baby sister (and perhaps confound some folks with our unique relationship).

More, anon.

Prospero

P.S. Tonight, I actually realized how weird it is to refer to myself in the third person. I feel like a "Seinfeld" character... Is that a bad thing? Oh, and if you're wondering if she'll take offense at the pictures I've linked to my sister's references, I can assure you she'll say they just weren't weird enough....

P

Tell It To the Frogs

Warning: Here There Be Spoilers.

After 2 episodes of "The Walking Dead," Rick was finally reunited with his wife and son, both of whom had assumed he was dead.

When we last left our intrepid band of survivors, Rick and a group of scavengers from the camp outside of town had barely managed to escape Atlanta, leaving racist hothead Merle handcuffed atop the roof of the department store where they'd nearly met their demise. As episode 3, "Tell It To the Frogs" opens, Merle, severely sunburned and on the verge of insanity, vainly struggles to escape as the walkers (or 'geeks') try to force their way onto the roof and have their way with his delicious flesh.

Rick and company finally arrive at the camp, to the astonished joy of his wife Lori and son Carl (Chandler Riggs). Torn by Rick's return, his former partner Shane now finds himself bereft of the comfort he found in Lori's arms when they all assumed Rick was dead. Lori takes no time in ending things with Shane and when he takes Carl frog-hunting in the quarry, she tells him in no-uncertain terms to stay away from her family. We do find out that it was Shane who told Lori that Rick was dead in the first place, which leads me to believe there was nothing going on between them before the zombie uprising and that Shane simply took advantage of a woman whose marriage was shaky to begin with. Shane immediately lost points in my eyes, despite his taking down of wife-abusing Ed (Adam Minarovich) with a well-deserved if a bit over-zealous beating. Shane was obviously taking out a bit of his own frustrations on the neanderthal Ed. Poor Rick, of course, has no idea of what's gone on while he made his perilous way back to his wife and son.

Meanwhile, the appearance of a 'walker' devouring a deer close to camp means that the food supply in the city is dwindling and the zombies have begun to make their way into the woods in search of sustenance. It also means the deer that Merle's brother Daryl (Norman Reedus of The Boondock Saints) was stalking is no longer of any value as food. Of course, Daryl is none-too-pleased to learn that his racist cracker brother has been left behind and insists they attempt a rescue. Rick, Glenn, TDog and Daryl return to Atlanta, despite the others' protests, only to find that Merle has found a rather grisly solution to his captivity. Of course, Rick has an additional impetus to return to the city: the bag of weapons and ammo he was forced to leave behind when surrounded by zombies at the end of Episode 1.

As of yet, there have been no human fatalities in the series, though I am betting as we get closer to the series' first season finale, that will change. And that will also be a game changer. This comparatively less gory episode delved more into the personalities of the survivors; a rag-tag group of relative strangers who have been thrust together by circumstances in an effort to survive the unthinkable. The women reminisce ("I miss my Maytag;" "I miss my coffeemaker;" "I miss my vibrator.") and the men grow increasingly unhappy and resentful. Personally, I think it will be a living person who makes the first kill, rather than a zombie. And then all hell will truly break loose among these stressed-out and desperate survivors.

In other Zombie news that won't wait until Saturday's edition of The Zombie Zone, Deadline is reporting that writer/director and Zombieland restroom victim Mike White has officially signed to direct to the film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (via). The Chuck and Buck writer has just the right kind of twisted sensibility to make a perfect adaptation of the mashup novel, wherein Jane Austin's heroines must cope with both the ideals of Victorian romance and the Living Dead. Yum!

More, anon.

Prospero