Hey - if Nixon could do "Laugh-In" (remember kiddies, your Uncle P is old...), then why shouldn't Clinton appear in a raunchy sex-comedy? I can't think of a better genre for the man, can you? Of course, Nixon wasn't yet President when he appeared on the subversive NBC sketch comedy and Clinton is a former President. I mean, it's pretty unlikely that Mr. Obama is going to make a cameo in Porky's 3 anytime soon.
I must admit, I am Clinton fan. Sure, he created the woefully inept DADT policy, but the US economy under his administration was the strongest it had been in a long time. "But, he had an affair!" I can hear some of you thinking (yes, Uncle P can indeed hear some of you thinking, so be careful what you think). So did many POTUSes. He was impeached because he lied about sex. Hell, most people in this country should be impeached, then. He didn't lie about WMDs, start an unnecessary war or authorize torture and other war-crimes. He didn't drive our economy into a tailspin by spending trillions killing thousands US soldiers and innocent Iraqis. He didn't steal an election by having a brother who was governor of the deciding state. He didn't authorize millions of illegal wiretaps or suspend habeus corpus. And I imagine that if 9/11 had happened on his watch, he wouldn't have sat dumbly staring out into space for almost a minute while trying to figure out what to do. And I never once heard Bill say anything like this:
So why shouldn't private citizen Clinton make an appearance in The Hangover 2? He has a right to do whatever he wants (within reason, of course), just as you and I do. Who knows, maybe he'll inhale this time. Personally, I don't care, just as long as Bradley Cooper spends most of the movie like this.
In 1986, George Star Wars Lucas was sure that his next hit would be the big-screen adaptation of the Marvel Comics undergound hit Howard the Duck. Casting Lea Thompson (hot off of Red Dawn and Space Camp); Jeffrey Jones (Ferris Beuller's Day Off) and Tim Robbins (Top Gun) in a story about an extraterrestrial avian brought to Earth via a mad scientist's laser beam, Lucas and company were sure they had a massive hit with this craptatstic adaptation.
While Steve Gerber's randy adult comic book was subversive and original, the adaptation directed by William Huyck (best known for directing the 1979 comedy French Postcards and writing Lucas' first hit American Graffiti) is quite simply a mess of excess. Everything about this movie is so over-the-top (including Thompson's ridiculously huge 80's "big hair"), there's no where to go. While Howard may have worked as a subversive pen-and-ink anti-hero, but he flopped massively as a a celluloid action hero. And deservedly so, given the excessive effects budget and poorly written screenplay.
Featuring ridiculous performances; really bad special effects; icky inter-species sex and one of the most expensive puppets in film history, Howard the Duck is the one the 1980's worst big-budget movies and (until the later Star Wars films) the nadir of George Lucas' career.
Uncle P knows he saw this movie on VHS in the 80's, but his memories of it are buried deep in the vault of things he'd rather forget. Stupid, vapid and painfully unwatchable, Howard the Duck is perhaps the epitome of everything that was wrong about the 1980's (and that includes rat-tails; parachute pants and jellies).
I'd like to think that even though I was a "New Wave" kid in the 80's, I was still above this kind of lameness, though I'll bet if you ask any of my contemporaries, they'd be just as embarrassed by this crap as I am...
Did you know that our World Leaders are really part of a Reptilian and Draconian conspiracy to enslave the Human Race and take over Earth for their own nefarious purposes? Neither did I. I mean, I thought that ABC's "V" was Science Fiction. Turns out, it's all true. How do I know? Because of people like Colleen Thomas, who in the first video below, has a perfectly rational explanation for the "mysterious" rocket plume seen in southern California, yesterday.
I came across the video this morning on BoingBoing, and at first found it hilarious. Then I watched it twice more and suddenly found it sad and disturbing. Watch for yourself, and we'll discuss, afterward:
Colleen seems perfectly calm and rational at first (despite the leopard-print jacket and over-processed hair color). And while she remains calm, all rationally flies out the window as she talks about the Plieadeans stopping the UN from trying to bomb Iran from Los Angeles. How the reporter on the other end of the phone kept from laughing hysterically, is beyond me. Perhaps he or she was just as fascinated/appalled as I am.
Sadly, Colleen is not alone in her delusions. There are plenty of people who believe this kind of nonsense. David Icke is one of the more popular proponents of these wacko conspiracy theories. Here's one his videos:
Icke has written best-selling books and speaks all over the world, spouting his bizarre message to anyone who will listen. What's scary to me is that people like Icke and Thomas are now on the Internet, spreading their mental disease to those fragile people out there who are more than willing to believe them.
A few years ago, the CBS procedural "C.S.I." had a storyline that dealt with this very subject, and I honestly thought they'd made the whole thing up:
Art imitates life? Maybe. But when the life being imitated is so scarily effed up, it must make one take pause. Believers say these reptilian invaders are all around us, and have assumed positions of political power world-wide. Really? I mean, really? (OK - maybe that last link is right on the money). Still, when "hundreds of thousands of people" think that space geckos are plotting to annihilate the human race in 2012, it may well be time to prepare hundreds of thousands of padded cells. Or call in the space mongooses.
Until such a time, stay vigilant and keep your small pets away from your local council members:
My friend and fellow blogger Sean at Just a Jeep Guy recently posted his comparison between the British miniseries "Dead Set" and AMC's "The Walking Dead." To be fair, I have not seen "Dead Set," so I can't comment on it objectively. I know its premise - Participants in the BBC version of the so-called 'reality' show "Big Brother" find themselves the only survivors of the Zombie Holocaust. It starred the BBC version's real host and was a massive hit across the pond. It was run on IFC in it's entirety on Halloween, but my provider doesn't carry IFC, so I have to wait for the DVD version.
That having been said, Sean then goes on to list to the things he finds 'wrong' in Frank Darabont's groundbreaking "The Walking Dead." Needless to say, Uncle P had to take his friend to task for being just a bit closed-minded when it comes to the "Rules" of zombie fiction.
Among his objections (in red) and my responses to them:
"Zombies don't eat animals so the horse and rat should still be alive and well." - In George Romero's original Night of the Living Dead, zombies are shown eating insects, which means they are not limited to dining on human flesh. And in my 2004 screenplay Army of the Dead, a character says he saw "a bunch of 'em take down a horse in Central Park."
"Zombies have heightened senses and so are attracted to noise and human smells which cannot be covered up by covering yourself in zombie blood and body parts." - Zombie's senses have never been really explored, except in 1985's Return of the Living Dead, written by Dan O'Bannon (Alien) and original Romero collaborator, John Russo. The only sense they express in that movie is pain, and they say (Romero's zombies had never spoken before) that eating brains eases the pain of being dead. This is also the movie that introduced the idea that zombies are primarily interested in brains. Before that, they were only interested in living flesh.
"Zombies, like these in TWD, do not have the ability to think and therefore would not use rocks to break windows. Also, they shouldn't have the ability to climb ladders or fences." - Romero first introduced the idea of a thinking zombie in 1985's Day of the Dead, in which the zombie Bub expresses rudimentary memory such as shaving, using a phone and saluting. And in Romero's 2005 movie Land of the Dead, the zombies figure out that the lights across lake mean people are present, so there is no reason they shouldn't be able to use tools or climb ladders.
"In the second episode, we are at least 5-6 weeks into the apocalypse - most cars would have dead batteries by now and that scene of Glen flying down the road leaving Atlanta? Not a single broken down/abandoned car, dead body on one side of the road while the other is jam packed?" - Car batteries don't die after a few weeks or a month. My mother uses her car once a month and the battery is just fine. As for the highway being jammed in only one direction? Of course people would be trying to leave a city overrun by ravenous zombies, rather than trying to get into it. See Stephen King's "The Stand," in which cars jam the outbound lanes of the Lincoln Tunnel as people desperately try to escape the 'Captain Trips' virus. This makes total sense to me.
"Who has sex in the woods with zombies lurking about just weeks after her/his husband/best friends dies? Even if they where having an affair before the zombies came? I think the guild (sic) in addition to fear, would kill my sex drive." - Who doesn't get the thrill of dangerous sex in the outdoors? Fear and lust are two very closely related emotions, and if (as I have intimated and suspected) Shane and Laurie had been carrying on an affair before the whole zombie thing went down, they would certainly continue it, especially if they both thought Rick was dead. Of course, Laurie's guilt does prompt her to remove the wedding band she wears on a chain. And their fevered, animalistic rutting is certainly consistent with people who have something they want to hide from others.
The point is, when it comes to fiction -- and especially genre fiction -- there are no hard and fast rules. Writers create their worlds according their own visions and specifications. Is anyone about to tell Anne Rice that vampires can't be religious or Stephanie Meyer that they don't sparkle ?(OK - bad example - vampires do NOT sparkle).
In Uncle P's 'zombie-verse,' zombies don't actually have senses, but are directed by chemical responses emitted by the bio-engineered virus that controls them. In every version of a fictional story, the actions of the characters are dictated by the parameters of the author's own reality, and there simply are no rules.
Sean, I know you're reading - and that you have read the mini-version of this I posted in your comments - but please know that I'm not faulting your logic, but rather trying to expand your thinking on what genre fiction should be. In the end, all good fiction (regardless of genre) should comment on the unchanging Human Condition, and I'd say "The Walking Dead" is doing a bang-up job of it, whether you agree with it's particular set of 'rules' or not.
And speaking of genre rules, here's an example of some extremely silly ones that work because the plot adheres to the parameters of the story's own reality. I give you the latest trailer for Tron: Legacy:
The true test of a successful TV series isn't the splashy 90 minute premiere, but the regular 60 minute episodes that follow, and AMC's adaptation of Robert Kirkwood's The Walking Dead followed it's splashy premier with an episode that was just as intense and well-done. (SPOILERS ahead).
Last seen trapped in a tank surrounded by 'walkers,' our hero Rick Grimes is sort-of rescued by Glenn (Steven Yeun) who leads him through an alley to the department store where a group of survivors have been hiding. Of course, the commotion made by Rick's escape simply draws the zombies to the store, where they begin to smash their way through the glass doors. Meanwhile, Rick's wife continues her affair with her husband's former partner Shane in the woods outside Atlanta, where they have been encamped.
Among the Atlanta group is Andrea (Laurie Holden of The Mist and Silent Hill); racist redneck Merle (Slither's Michael Rooker); TDog (IronE Singleton) and Jacqui (The Skeleton Key's Jeryl Prescott). As Rick and Glenn plot their escape from the increasingly dangerous store, it soon becomes clear that the only way to escape the walkers is to become a walker and Rick hatches a plan in which he and Glenn must disguise themselves (at least scent-wise) as walkers. The episode's title becomes eminently clear as they prepare for their (admittedly disgusting) venture among the zombie horde, though a rainstorm brings a disturbingly dangerous end to their plan. Needless to say, the plan works but not without complications, the least of which involves Merle handcuffed on the department store's roof.
Based on the ratings of episode 2, AMC has already ordered a second season for "The Walking Dead," which is no surprise to the millions of zombie fans watching this exceptionally well-plotted and extremely well-acted tale of survival in a world gone mad.
This is how good the series is: Uncle P's mother, who normally eschews Horror as a 'silly' genre, is actually enjoying the show and and actively looking forward to upcoming episodes. As for myself, I cannot recommend this series highly enough. It is the best thing to happen to the sub-genre since George A. Romero's original Dawn of the Dead and quite possibly the best new series on TV this season (though I am already sad that NBC has decided to cancel J.J. Abrams' connubial spy series,"Undercovers" starring the exceptionally sexy Boris Kodjoe).
I dare you to watch "The Walking Dead." And I promise you won't be disappointed by it's its exceptionally human story,
Uncle P had plans for a wonderful weekend of revelry and fun with friends he loves dearly. Last night I was planning on attending a combination Halloween/Birthday party for one of my Top Girls cast members and tonight I was supposed to see a ridiculous Horror movie with Matty.
Needless to say, none of those plans met with fruition, thanks to my fickle sinuses, which decided to inflame themselves to the point of no return. Along with the nasal congestion and explosive pain, my left eye swelled almost shut and felt as though it wanted nothing less than total escape from its socket. And I tried everything from warm compresses to saline eye washes. I even improvised a neti pot using an old watering can. Nothing helped.
As I write this, the infection seems to have switched sides, inflaming the right side of my skull with its insidious horrors. And while it is far from my intention to gross you out, those of you who don't suffer from the genetic curse of bad sinuses should count yourselves among the lucky. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (though I'm not above wishing them a bad case of diarrhea). Of course, all this is just making you ask yourselves why I am sharing such disgusting details, but I am so consumed by them I can't write about anything else right now I hope you'll both forgive and sympathize (or maybe even empathize) with me.
And since I really have nothing pithy or political or remotely related to my usual topics to say tonight, I'll leave you with the trailers to two upcoming movies I really want to see:
Well, thanks to many factors, there was plenty of LGBT news I missed out on reporting last month, so I suppose I'm making up for it tonight.
First, you've heard me mention 'my angel,' Matty many times. Matty is one of the most talented young actors I've ever had the privilege to direct. Matty has become a very dear friend and I have become a mentor to him on many levels. He appeared in my production of The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told and was the Assistant Stage Manager for last summer's production of Sordid Lives. We both love Horror movies (and are seeing one together this coming Sunday); we both love the theatre and we are both writers. He's the son (in a totally non-creepy way, I promise) I never had and I love when I get to crow about his accomplishments. And crow, I shall.
Recently, Matty made headlines when he and his friend Bobby potentially broke the Guinness World Record for Longest Continuous Kiss. A student at the school where I studied Theatre (and where I 'discovered' him in a 24-hour play contest), Matty is true Force of Nature and I have no doubt he will go on to make quite a mark on the world. And part of that mark will be a new documentary called Our Lips Are Sealed, detailing the events surrounding his and Bobby's new record.
I am so very proud to know and be a friend of this remarkable young man.
In other Gayest news, its no secret that the adorable Darren Criss (pictured above and formerly of ABC's prematurely canceled "Eastwick") has been cast as Kurt's (Chris Colfer) boyfriend on Fox's megahit musical, "Glee." Thanks to Towleroad, here's the first clip of Criss singing in an all-boys high school choir and their (almost) acappella version of "Teenage Dream:"
Gay teens all over America are sighing in delight, right now.
And this past August, in another Gayest Thing post, I embedded the video for openly gay rapper Cazwell's song "Ice Cream Truck," which featured a series of NYC hotties grinding and licking ice-pops while Caz rapped about a hot boy he met in a school yard. Well, also via Towleroad, comes Philadelphia's version (for Bear-lovers and Chubby Chasers only):
Finally, Al Gore's Current TV has this to say about Reality TV Judges:
Make sure you check out tomorrow's Zombie Zone post, where I wax poetic about AMC's newest original series "The Walking Dead," among other zombie-related news. And stop back here on Sunday, where I'll be talking about the JTMF's first ever winter production, It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play.
