My Head May Explode

This is the single worst performance I have ever seen in my life. I think a man might be off- camera, holding a gun to the young lady's dog's head. Or threatening to blow up her kitten. Honestly. (via)

God bless us, every one!

More of this, anon.
Prospero

Light Up the Night for Equality

Mark your calendars and check your city's events page for Light Up the Night for Equality, a nationwide candlelight vigil for Marriage Equality on Saturday, December 20th. The good folks at WhiteKnot.org have all the details.

This past November's elections in CA, FL and AZ have galvanized the LGBT community in a way I've never seen before, and I have never been prouder to be a member of that community.

Fight the good fight, folks. Don't continue to allow bigots, fear-mongers and haters to scare people into sheepishly allowing basic human rights to be trampled upon. Stand up and say something. Do something. Stop the hate and join the fight for what you know is right. Don't allow the so-called 'Religious Right' to spread fear and lies.

Thomas Jefferson wrote that "the rights of a minority should never be voted upon by the majority." How can we, more than 200 years later, ignore those words from one of the framers of our Constitution? We can't and we won't.

Stop the hate, end the fear and remove the bigots from power. Join in and make your voices heard.

More of this, anon.

Prospero

This 'N' That

Short and sweet tonight - I'm tired.

First, here's a delightful version of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" as performed by Beaker, the Muppets' ever-exasperated lab assistant. Oh, how I love me some Muppets and some Luddy V. (via)

And then there's this review from the San Francisco Gate of the new inter-active play, "Abraham Lincoln's Big Gay Dance Party." (via)

More of this, anon.

Prospero

The Best Virals

As another year draws to a close, I had to share this compilation of the year's best viral videos from Videogum via BoingBoing. Enjoy.

As always, more of this, anon.

Prospero

My Favorite "MST3K" Episodes

My friends and I discovered Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the early 90's when it was a Saturday Late Night Staple on Comedy Central. Those were the days when creator Joel Hodgson was the host and the evil scientists were Dr. Clayton Forrester (Trace Beaulieu) and TV's Frank (Frank Conniff). The jokes were hilarious (and almost non-stop) and I was usually quite proud to get most of them, though there were always those few that made no sense to any of us. When head-writer Mike Nelson took over the hosting duties, the show was still pretty funny, but there was something missing. By the time the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Movie came out, it was time to hang it up, though there were three more not nearly as funny seasons after that.

The premise was simple - a guy and two smart-alecky robots, trapped in an orbiting space station, were forced to watch terrible movies as part of a sadistitic experiment. The movies were usually horror or sci-fi (though there were plenty of other genres) and were always the worst of the worst. The audience watched the three in silhouette as they sat in the front row and said all the snarky things you and your friends said while watching bad movies and smoking dope. Simple and hilarious. There were eleven seasons and dozens of episodes, some better than others. And some of the best eps were those that included a short to fill the time left by a shorter feature. Here then, in no particular order, are my favorite MST3K episodes & shorts:

********

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
(Season 4, Episode #21):

This episode contains one of my favorite all-time MST3K lines: "Pills for breakfast? Who do we look like, Judy Garland?" Also, the infamously bad actress Pia Zadora makes her film debut as a Martian child.

********

The Sidehackers
(Season 3, Episode #2):

This godawful motorcycle racing flick is so badly made, the boys have to actually explain that the hero's girlfriend has been murdered, because no one in the movie ever mentions it. The boys' best line comes during a particularly bad edit that takes place just as the hero clutches the tiny padlock on a chain around his neck: "Oh magic lock, take me to the freeway!"

********

Here Comes the Circus!
(Pre-Feature Short, Episode Unknown):

One of the show's best shorts, Here Comes the Circus was basically a commercial for Ringling Brothers. It features the classic line "Oh, no! No! They're doing it 'clown-style!'"

********

The Day the Earth Froze

(Season 5, Episode #22):

This Russian-made version of a Norwegian folktale is about a witch who steals the sun, and features a slew of the boys' best lines, including "My other log is a Redwood!"

********

Hired!

(Pre-Feature Short, Episode Unknown):

Basically a training film for Chevrolet salesmen, Hired! is just terrible - and oh so funny in our boys' hands.

********

Manos: Hands of Fate

(Season 5, Episode #24)

This very, very, very bad, semi-soft-core porno movie about a weird cult features Torgo, the oddly big-kneed manservant and the least erotic dance sequence ever put on film.

********

Attack of the Eye Creatures

(Season 5, Episode 18):

The boys were on fire in Season 5, and this stinker is no exception. It's so bad, in fact, the movie's title screen reads: "Attack of the The Eye Creatures" (No, that is not MY typo). The best line comes as an alien's disembodied hand is crawling around in the backseat of our hero's car: "Gotta boogie... gotta boogie... gotta boogie on my finger and it won't come off!"

Honorable Mention - For the episdoe featuring teh Japanese monster movie Gamera, the boys re-write the Japanese lyrics to the movie's theme song: "Gamera is really neat! He is filled with turtle meat! That's why we love Ga-mer-a!"

The show may be long gone, but the riffs continue as most of the original cast can be found doing much the same thing as Pay-per-View downloads at: CinematicTitanic.com. Check 'em out!

More of this, anon.

Prospero

Why "Milk" Matters

Thirty years ago, America was a very different place. Personal computers; cellphones; PDAs; HDTV; digital cameras; the Internet and IMAX were all unheard of. Personally, I was thrilled and amazed to have a Texas Instruments calculator to help me with the math with which I struggled on a daily basis. The acronym LGBT had yet to be invented and a rainbow was a meteorological phenomenon not yet associated with any particular group other than leprechauns and their pots of gold. Stonewall had come and gone, but was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to gay rights.

Then, suddenly, there was this man in San Francisco; a transplanted New Yorker who was tired of being treated as a third-class citizen. A man who decided that enough was enough. Harvey Milk became the first openly gay person in the U.S. to hold a publicly elected office. And then, just as suddenly, he was gone. Murdered (along with San Francisco Mayor George Moscone) by fellow City Supervisor Dan White. White went on to claim that junk food had addled his brain and the infamous "Twinkie Defense" was born. I was sixteen years old, terrified that my friends and family would discover that I was gay, and even more horrified to see that one of my idols had been shot in cold blood. I remember thinking, "They really hate us." It would be many years (and much therapy) before I was ready to come out to my family. And even then, it was only to those closest to me.

I cried the day Harvey Milk was murdered, because I thought my last hope at being 'normal' had died with him. Recently, with the defeat of Prop 8 in California (and similar legislations in FL and AZ), I began to feel the same sort of despair. But the community has rallied again. Our voices are being heard. More and more people from all walks of life are decrying the breech of civil rights afforded by Prop 8 and other measures. Prop 8: The Musical is a Viral Video hit and more and more gay celebrities are publicily outing themsleves (while more and more straight celebs are endorsing gay rights as simply Human Rights).

Brokeback Mountain was supposed to be the movie that changed everything for the LGBT community. And for a while, it seemed it might. But even Ang Lee's gorgeous and painful romance couldn't galvanize the country into acceptance. Now comes Gus Van Sant's Milk, and we can all rejoice.

Or can we?

If Milk had been released a month earlier, would it have made a difference in the outcome of the Prop 8 vote? Will it make a difference now? Only time will tell. Rob Epstein's 1984 documentary The Times of Harvey Milk did little (if anything) to sway public opinion. And the traditional "Christian Right" (which is neither, I might add) are certainly doing everything they can to deter people from realizing that being gay is not a choice.

As Milk garners more and more awards and nominations and opens in wider release, will middle-Americans venture to their local cinemas and realize that Harvey was right? Or, like with Brokeback Mountain (a far superior film to that year's Best Picture winner, Crash) will it be an anomaly; a novelty film with limited appeal and in the end, limited impact? I sure hope not.

In any event, Van Sant's fictionalized bioflick sure looks like terrific filmmaking with some of this year's most riveting performances:

More of this, anon.

Prospero

More Love for "Were the World Mine"

I know, I know. You're sick of hearing me go on and on about a movie I haven't even seen yet. But boy, is that trailer good. And now, there is an extended trailer with more music from the movie:

And while looking for more on the movie, I came across the trailer for the short that lead to full-length movie, Fairies:

Were the World Mine can't be released wide soon enough. I just hope I don't have to wait to for the DVD to hit stores before I get to see what looks like an amazing, beautiful and thoughtful film.

More of this, anon.

Prospero