Retro Review: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

So this last weekend of September (and the first of Autumn) was a very mixed bag, though most of it good. I had intended on writing this review last night while the movie was still fresh in my mind, but the randomness of the Universe stepped in and made my Saturday night into something other than I had planned (I fell asleep and missed a party, but went out later and met a hot, funny and sweet man I hope to see again - yes, we exchanged numbers; I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid).  I worked one of my two mandatory Saturday mornings (7:00 - 12:30) and then went grocery shopping. I knew I had a party to attend, but after the groceries were put away, I had time to kill so I rented Captain America: The Winter Soldier OnDemand. Warning: This movie came out in the spring. There will be lots of SPOILERS!

Captain America: The First Avenger was one of my favorite movies the summer it was released, and I was very happy to find... well, soon. This time out, Cap is once again up against Hydra, who have wormed their unctuous tentacles into the very heart of S.H.I.E.L.D., led by the duplicitous Alexander Pierce (screen legend Robert Redford playing against type and obviously having the time of his life). When S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is 'killed' by a legendary assassin known as 'The Winter Soldier' (Sebastian Stan), it's up to Steve Rogers to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Despite being told by Fury to "Trust no one.," Rogers does trust Agent Natasha 'Black Widow' Romanov (Scarlett Johansson, finally getting a chance to do some character development, especially with her relationship with Cap) and new Avenger Sam 'Falcon' Wilson (The Hurt Locker's Anthony Mackie) who is introduced in an hilarious opening sequence where Steve keeps passing him in a jog around the Washington Memorial Reflecting Pool ("On your left!")

Directors Anthony and Joe Russo (my beloved "Community") have proven they have the chops to make a coherent action film with action sequences which a) make sense and b) can be followed without straining one's eyes. This is exactly what an Superhero action movie is supposed to be, folks! Performances across the board are up to Marvel's usual standards. Of course, while the astonishingly beautiful Chris Evans was born to play Steve 'Captain America' Rogers, he was nearly shirtless enough for countless women and gay men (though that grey jogging T is pretty amazing!). The scene with the now dying Peggy Carter (a heavily made-up Hayley Atwell) was particularly well done. There is also a very Sky Captain-ish appearance by the the fabulous Toby Jones as the computerized mind of mad scientist and Red Skull's right-hand-man, Arnim Zola.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is probably one of the best of the Marvel films and certainly one of my favorites. If I had to quibble at all, it's that it seems to follow the Marvel formula: Complicated plot followed by massive third act destruction. It may be time to mix it up a bit, guys. Still, it's a solid and beautifully made action movie with loads of all sorts of eye-candy for everyone! One last spoiler: Did you really think Cap and his team wouldn't prevail? **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Rated PG-13 "for intense sequences of violence, gunplay and action throughout."

More, anon.
Prospero

Feeling Old & Young at the Same Time

Uncle P?

In about two and a half hours, I will officially be ** years old. Regular readers have undoubtedly taken the time to figure out Uncle P's real age, though truth-be-told, I sometimes have to look at my drivers' license to know for sure. 

I don't feel or look my age (at least that's what some people tell me). A recent escapade with a a much younger partner had me feeling good, despite the pain in my thighs and glutes the next day (he told me he thought I was only about 5 years older than he was). 

All of my life, I have been genetically blessed. I was first served at a bar at 15 (yes, I know - shameful!) and since then have been confused for much older or much younger than I am. It's the combination of German, Hungarian, Scottish and Welsh genes that keep people guessing. Until my late 20's people have thought I was older than I actually was. In my 30's, people started guessing I was much younger than I was. I always win a prize at the "Guess Your Age" carnival booths. If I am anything like  like my late mother and grandfather, I won't start showing my true age for another 20 years or more. 

Of course, my premature gray hair (which started to develop in my early 30's) is a dead give-away. And I'm not sharing this as a boast. It's simply fact. Only my (shrinking) family and closest friends (and the smartest of my regular readers) know exactly how old I am. And that's okay with me. The old adage "Age is just a number" is true. In my mind, I am perpetually 25. Though in my joints and muscles, I often feel that I am 117. 

Here's the thing: One is only as old as one allows oneself to be. I can laugh at the most immature joke or pun while dismissing the right-wing attitudes of many of my contemporaries. I still love a good rollercoaster ride while decrying the mostly terrible state of modern pop music. I may be yelling at the the neighborhood kids to get the hell off my lawn, though I can still bust a move to a truly great dance song or get it on with a hottie 15 or more years my junior (TMI?). Personally, I have no intentions of giving in to my age, no matter what it may be. I'm just glad to wake up on the right side of the dirt each day! I just know that I'm not ready to retire from work or my favorite activities any time soon and I hope that will be the case for many years to come.

Happy Birthday to Me!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Most Gratuitous Things You'll See this Week

Joe Manganiello

After appearing in Magic Mike, the world's hottest werewolf, Joe Manganiello, was apparently so enamored of (well, fascinated by) the the world of male strippers, he felt compelled to make a documentary about them. His film La Bare focuses on the lives of the men who dance at the Dallas strip club of the same name, and the women who frequent it. Oh, did I mention there's a murder, too?

Dancer/Fitnesss Trainer Ruben Ruguero was shot to death in La Bare's parking lot following an altercation at the club in September of 2012. Ruguero's family released a statement which blamed 'mistaken identity' for the shooting. As far as I can tell, the case remains open with no suspects in custody.

The Red Band trailer for La Bare is out there, though I don't seem to be able to embed it, for some reason. Instead, enjoy this tidbit from the club, itself:

Many years ago, Uncle P made the acquaintance of a rather beautiful young man who stripped in gay clubs to earn money for his upcoming sexual reassignment,. "Jimmy" was truly a stunning specimen of male beauty, who looked even better when dressed as a woman. While dressed as Marilyn Monroe for a Halloween party, Jimmy hooked up with a straight guy who believed Jimmy was a woman. When the straight guy discovered Jimmy had a penis, Jimmy was lucky to escape with is life. I have no idea if Jimmy got his surgery or not - we didn't stay in touch. And while I'd seen him perform as both a male stripper and a 'Gender Illusionist,' I couldn't help but think he was wasting his time with straight boys who would never fully appreciate all his attributes. And no, that's not transphobic. At least, I don't think it is. It's merely an observation about a trans person I once knew.

And speaking of Queer things: Today, Pennsylvania (where Uncle P lives) became the 19th State to strike down anti-Marriage Equality laws! We finally join the right side of history. 31 to go! If PA can get there, so can the rest of the country!

Yay!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Hottest, Gayest, Weirdest Things You'll See this Week (NSFW Version)

Grrrr...

Well, several of the links maybe NSFW. Nothing visible on this post is, though.

Broadway Cares has been a major supporter of those in the theatre community affected by and with HIV/AIDS. They were major supporters of the JTMF silent auctions, providing autographed show posters and other memorabilia, as well as the many hundreds of red ribbons we gave out each year. I made my first donation directly to a cast member after seeing Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria at the Marquis. Several events have sprung from the group including the amazing Broadway Flea Market and the annual 'naughty' revue known as "Broadway Bares" (featuring some of the Great White Way's hottest performers wearing nothing - or very little more - than a smile). This year's theme is 'Rock Hard' (get it?), celebrating rock musicals. Advocate.com has the full story (featuring some possibly NSFW shots of hot boys' butts) here, if you are so inclined.

The fuzz-lovers at Accidental Bear had two items that piqued my interest. First was a video trailer for a new magazine (Ugh! That's a thing now, too? Bad enough when they started doing them for novels... but I digress) called 'Good Boys in Trouble,' which appears to be some sort of Fashion/Lifestyle cyber-magazine for Cubs. Check that out here. 

The other story that caught my eye was the weirdest and certainly most NSFW thing about this post.

Uber-hottie Ryan Gosling appeared in a rather amazing and quirky 2007 film (which I remember loving)  called Lars and the Real Girl, about an awkward young man who invents a relationship with a customized vinyl doll he purchased online. The premise is based on a real-world industry in which a subculture of introverts has come to rely on these 'artificials' for companionship. One company which provides these anatomically correct companions is Sinthetics - link NSFW - (I can't decide if I love or hate that pun). They not only have quite a broad selection of models from which to choose (including 'accessories'), they also seem to pride themselves on how realistic their products are (ew). You can see their VERY NSFW photos and videos here, again if you so inclined. I'm hoping you'd rather see Lars...

More, anon.
Prospero

Werewolves Are NOT the New Zombies

Tyler Hoechlin of MTV's "Teen Wolf"

In the pantheon of Horror archetypes,Werewolf used to rank just below Vampire. Since a little black and white horror movie in 1968, werewolves have been knocked down a peg or two. Obviously, all three are insanely popular in genre TV. MTV's "Teen Wolf" (which I gave up on last season) and SyFy's "Being Human" and their new series "Bitten" prove that. They have been less successful on the big screen, of late. I don't know anyone who actually likes the Underworld movies and don't understand why they keep getting made and Benicio Del Toro's 2010 effort to reinvigorate yet another Universal Monsters franchise (The Wolfman) failed miserably and season one of producer/director Eli Roth's "Hemlock Grove" for Netflicks was a total bore. 

Personally, I can name only two werewolf movies in the last 30 years that were actually up to snuff. The first is director Joe Dante's (Mad Max; Gremlins) almost brilliantly realized 1981 version of Gary Brandner's novel The Howling. Featuring the first real physical werewolf transformation on film (thanks to Rob Bottin) and a very funny script by John Sayles, the movie ultimately fails when Dee Wallace (as a TV reporter) has an on-camera transformation, resulting in something that looks more like an over-sized Pekingese than a vicious killer.

Of course, probably the best werewolf movie ever made is John Landis' An American Werewolf in London. Scary, funny and romantic, Landis' movie set a bar which has yet to be met.

Runners up: Neil Jordan's very dark re-telling of 'Little Red Riding Hood,' The Company of Wolves and Christoph Gans' 2001 Brotherhood of the Wolf. 

Unfortunately, despite the presence of the eye-candy that is Jason Momoa, the upcoming French-made Wolves doesn't look likely to bring the subgenre back.

Personally... Cats are way scarier (and sexier):



More, anon.
Prospero

The Funniest Gay Things You'll See This Week (NSFW Onanist Version)

J. Pee

I have never heard of rapper J. Pee. He's kind of hot though, despite his rather unfortunate (though I have no doubt deliberate) choice of Rapper Name.

His latest single and video is.. well, something artists like Billy Joel, Cyndi Lauper and Billy Idol have been dancing around since the 80's. And while I am sure there are plenty of songs about self-pleasure even before "She-Bop" and "It's Just a Fantasy," I don't know of any other pop songs that are quite so blatant in their love of Onanism as the probably NSFW video below, proves:

J. Pee's previous and equally hilarious video "I'm Not Gay," has earned him a new fan.

Hmmm... wondering if there's anyone else out there who might relate? Don't ask, and I won't tell.

More, anon,.
Prospero

TV Review: "Helix"

SyFy (I still can't get used to that silly name) debuted their latest original series "Helix" on Friday night with a double episode premiere. 

Set in an underground bio-lab in the Arctic, "Helix" is ostensibly about a group of CDC doctors led by Dr. Alan Farragut (Billy Campbell), who are sent to investigate a possible viral outbreak at the unregulated facility. Farragut is recruited by his ex-wife ("Supernatural" alum Kyra Zagorsky) primarily because the only surviving victim is his brother Peter (Neil Napier), with whom said ex-wife had an affair which ended their marriage. When Farragut and his team arrive, they are injected with RIFD's in their palms, which supposedly give them full access to the entire facility. 

Peter, near death with wildly fluctuating vitals and black blood when his brother's team arrives, somehow manages to escape his quarantined bed and rip his way into the facility's air ducts, using the severed hand of a security officer to access rooms now denied to him and spread the infection to other scientists. Meanwhile, a member of Alan's team learns that rats aren't the only lab animals in the facility when she is attacked by an infected rhesus monkey, after being told that no monkeys were present. It's obvious that something nefarious is going on here, especially after the facility's top scientist, Dr. Hatake (Hiroyuki Sanada), removes his contact lenses to reveal an unusual pair of reflective eyes.

I've been a huge fan of (and must admit to a massive crush on) the very attractive Campbell since first seeing him in The Rocketeer, a movie that should have done better at the box office and should have launched Campbell into an 'A-List' career. Most recently seen on TV as a disreputable politician in AMC's version of "The Killing," Campbell also starred as the leader of the cultish group of alien abduction survivors on USA's "The 4400," a show I loved and miss. He's still massively hot here and I would me remiss if I didn't admit that I'd watch him in almost anything in which he appears. That having been said, he once again holds his own among a cast of mostly unknowns in a series that offers few real surprises (so far).

Despite some dicey CGI effects and a storyline appropriated from several other sources (Stephen King's "The Stand" and John Carpenter's The Thing among them), I found myself thoroughly involved in and intrigued by "Helix" and am looking forward to seeing where it will go. And the upcoming appearance by "Star Trek" and "Body of Proof" alum Jeri Ryan will certainly appeal to both the str8 boys watching, as well as her many gay fans. Darker and decidedly creepier than my other SyFy favorite "Warehouse 13" (which is about to enter it's fifth and sadly final season), "Helix" has lots of potential. I just hope it lives up to that potential.

*** (Three Out of Four Stars).

More, anon.
Prospero

Pachelbel Smiled

Adorable, no?

Couldn't resist this one. Regular readers know my obsession with Flash Mobs. I'm particularly pleased when they involve great music. Of course, when they include adorable cellists and woofy bassists in Air Force uniforms... Well, I don't know about you, but Uncle P must admit to feeling a bit like Garth when he climbs the rope in Gym.

Yesterday, I secured a gig directing a new short play for a new Short Play Festival in North Jersey. I'm very pleased by this and intrigued by the piece (a discourse - in part - on the value of art) and am about to submit a proposal to direct a Christopher Durang piece for a company which has always intimidated me, but which I am pretty sure I can convince to book me, if I get my sh*t together. I am moving forward; rejoining the world and expanding upon my life as an artist. And that's a very good thing, I think.

Someday, in conjunction with some project or other, I am going to stage and execute one of the most amazing Flash Mobs, ever. It joins a return to Paris, visits to London; Cairo; Brisbane; Sydney; Queensland; Tokyo; Bangkok and Machu Pichu and directing "Evil Dead: The Musical" and/or a black comedy 'splash zone' version of "Titus Andronicus" on my ever-growing Bucket List.

Here (via) is the Flash Mob video that inspired tonight's post:

Maybe... just maybe... I'm finally feeling a bit of Holiday Spirit. Or I may just be a sucker for a hottie in a uniform! If I believed in an afterlife, I would imagine Pachelbel smiling at this. It certainly brightened my day!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Videos You'll See This WeeK

Mr. Gay World 2013, Chris Olwage of New Zealand

Generally, I hate beauty pageants. That's right - I despise something a lot of gay men adore. Miss America; Miss USA; Miss World; Miss Universe... all of them are rubbish, as far as I'm concerned. They not only bore me to death, but promote sexist stereotypes and reduce their contestants to far less than the sum of their parts. 

I particularly hate children's pageants. You know that pedophiles are regularly masturbating to episodes of 'Toddlers in Tiaras," right? Ugh! The sexualization of children in such events sickens me to no end. Images of the late Jon Benet Ramsey literally turn my stomach. And don't even get me started on Honey Boo-Boo and 'Dance Moms.' I'll cut a bitch! Beauty pageants exemplify everything that's wrong with modern societal values. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for physical beauty. But there's got to be more. As the saying goes, "Beauty is only skin deep." And really... if you're pretty, we better be able to have an intelligent conversation afterwards.

This past weekend saw the 'Mr. Gay World Pageant,' in which gay men from around the globe competed for the 'coveted' title. Needless to say, there wasn't a Bear among the contestants. Every one of them was young, trim and fit. It may has well have been the 'Mr. Ambercrombie and Fitch World Pageant.' 

This year's winner, a Kiwi by the name of Chris Olwage (who's 'five-head' is even worse than Josh Duhamel's) won. His talent? Dancing en pointe, something exceedingly rare among male dancers. That's not to say I have anything against men dancing en pointe. Far from it (though I can't help but compare my own feet - ruined by years of dancing in musical theatre - to the feet of ballerinas I met while working for the NYC Ballet... ick!). And while Olwage has an amazing body, give me a fuzzy, beefy Bear over a skinny dancer any day. Below (via) is Olwage's talent entry in the contest:

And speaking of fuzzy, beefy Bears, Mumford and Sons (who had a very LGBT friendly hit not too long ago) are back with a new video for their latest single, "Hopeless Wanderer," which features former SNL hotties Jason Sudekis and Will Forte along with Jason Bateman and Ed Helms. Sudeikis and Forte (wearing a rather unflattering yak hair beard) appear to swap some spit (something they've done many times in skits on SNL), though the catchy new song has only the vaguest connections to the LGBT community. Watch it below (also via):

Personally, I'm waiting for Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris and Cheyenne Jackson to collaborate on the ultimate gay song/video, written by Elton John and Matt Zarley. If you see it before I do, let me know ASAP.

More, anon.
Prospero