Kaiju New and Old, Among Other Nonsense

One of the many things I do love 

about the Day Job is that we follow an academic schedule. If schools are closed for a holiday, we usually are, as well. This Labor Day weekend will mark the start of Hell Week for Uncle P's return to the stage for the first time since my mother passed away, "Bluebird" which also marks my debut with the Langhorne Players. I am appearing as two very different characters in Simon Stephens' fascinating 1998 play about a night in the life of a London mini-cab driver and how his various fares relate to and inform his own story. I love both characters and love that I get to do two different accents in the same show. K came over tonight to help with lines (she is half--jokingly referred to among our circle of friends as the "Line Nazi"). I came in two weeks late and while I find both characters so compelling, memorization and short rehearsal periods only work well with shows I've done before or know really well. Thank goodness she came and helped. I feel so much better about opening in less than 6 days!

But that's not really what this post is about and I apologize for rambling (sort of).

Because I really want to talk about finally seeing Guillermo del Toro's Kaiju V. Giant Robots movie, Pacific Rim. I must say, I think del Toro was given short-shrift hen it came to reviews of yet another visually stunning movie from the genius who has given us Pan's Labyrinth The Devil's Backbone  and the Hellboy movies. And while del Toro always tries to make his films be about more than amazing visuals, when it comes to the Kaiju genre, there really isn't a lot of room for compelling characters, though co-writers del Toro and Travis Beacham (Clash of the Titans) do their best. The very fine Charlie Hunnam ("The Sons of Anarchy") leads a cast which includes Idris Elba (using his own accent, which only makes him sexier); Charlie Day ("It's Always Sunny in Philadephia"); "Torchwood" alum Burn Gorman and del Toro (and genre) favorite Ron Perlman in a very funny cameo as a dealer of exotic Kaiju parts. Amongst the explosions and destruction, there are plenty of moments that illicit the requisite relief laughter and moments of heroic sacrifice. You really can't ask for more from a Kaiju movie, and those who love the genre will totally get it.. *** (Three out of Four Stars)

Growing up in the 60's and 70's, there was plenty of Kaiju (though I didn't learn that word until much later) on TV. Toho Studio's "Godzilla" movies and their many spin-offs were regular Saturday afternoon fare on UHF channels (if you know what UHF was, you're probably as ancient as Uncle P) and after-school programming always included Tsuburaya Productions' TV show, "Ultraman." A benevolent alien pursues a monster to Earth, accidentally colliding with Science Patrol Officer Hiyata. Fusing with Hiyata, Ultraman is evoked using the Beta Capsule (which resembled a red, glowing vibrator, if memory serves) and Hiyata is transformed into a gigantic, Kaiju-killing machine:

For del Toro, Kaiju is obviously an extension of his desire to adapt H.P. Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness." I do hope a studio finally realizes that it would have to be a hard R, and would still make tons of money. Have they forgotten The Exorcist and The Silence of the Lambs? Both iconic films and iconic Horror,

More, anon.
Prospero

Got My Tickets

While not quite the insane San Diego ComicCon, the Philly burbs have hosted a more genre-specific Fan Con called Monster-Mania Con for nearly 30 years, at a convention center in the South Jersey Upper-Middle-Class Philly burb known as Cherry Hill, NJ.

When Uncle P was a kid, the Cherry Hill Mall* was the largest and first of its kind. A trip there with Auntie and Grandmom meant coin-operated and ticketed kiddie rides; endless exploration of the late-60's and early-70's version of Pier One Imports; a new pair of something and maybe a toy (if we were exceptionally well-behaved). After the NJ State Fairgrounds in Trenton closed down, the NJ State Fair was moved to the Cherry Hill Race Track, though these days it is held in North Jersey at The Meadowlands and the old Fairgrounds are now the rather amazing Grounds for Sculpture, which I highly recommend visiting once every few years. But, I digress.

It has been nearly 30 years since Uncle P attended a fan convention. It was 1985 and my sister and I went up to Manhattan (can't remember f I drove or we took the train) to attend Fangoria Magazine's first ever Weekend of Horrors. It was... well, you can imagine. This was early on in Fan Cons and most of the space was taken up by vendors. We made sure we attended George Romero's Day of the Dead panel, where we caught a sneak preview that wasn't immediately shared on an internet which didn't quite exist, yet. And it was amazing. We met and spoke with Horror Icons Tom Savini and Michael Berryman (both of whom were lovely and appreciative of their fans); I bought books and a t-shirt. We got lots of free buttons (including a Back to the Future button I probably should have hung onto) and generally had a good time. Though we found ourselves to be... well... the least nerdy duo in attendance, that day. And while there were maybe a dozen or so cosplayers there, the term had yet to be coined and they stuck out like sore thumbs. 

On Saturday, August 16th, I will be attending Monster-Mania Con with two co-workers: My sweetly and identically insane Mia (creator of Teddy-Z) and the newest addition to our department, Chris B. Chris is a sports guy (go Phillies!); a far less-obsessive movie fan than Uncle P (honestly - his lack of the Essentials is appalling - but I'm going to take care of that) and a fellow performer. I think the three of us will have ourselves a grand time and cannot wait to attend my first modern Fan Con! I'll make sure my phone is charged and will take lots of pics!

If you haven't figured it out by now, yes, I am a HUGE Horror geek and can't wait until we go! I'll also be asking my compatriots to restrain myself when it comes to shopping...

More, anon.
Prospero

*Uncle P started my 20 years of purgatorial retail life at Bamberger's, in my local Oxford Valley Mall.

Review: "Godzilla"

I saw a picture of one of those digital signs above a multiplex auditorium door that announces the title and show time: "GODZILLA - In IMAX" and under that, a very funny sign programmer added "Now with 100% Less Matthew Broderick." And thank goodness!

Fellow Kaiju fans, wipe the stench of Roland Emmerich's 1998 fiasco of a remake from your noses forever. Dry the disappointed tears of Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim from your eyes. Director Gareth Edwards (2010's indie fave, Monsters) and his team have crafted the modern Godzilla movie true Godzilla fans have been waiting for.

Writers Max Borenstein and David Callahan (The Expendables films) wisely don't try to give us an origin story and assume the events of 1954's Gojira did take place. 15 years after a catastrophic accident at a Japanese nuclear plant kills his wife n 1999 (not really a spoiler as that's part of the prologue), the plant's engineer Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) is arrested for trespassing in the contaminated area, still looking for answers. When son Ford (Kick-Ass star Aaron Taylor-Johnson) arrives to bail him out, Joe convinces him the site is experiencing the same type of disturbances that preceded the last accident. Of course, his warnings come too late for Dr. Ichiro Serizowa (Ken Watanabe) to prevent the birth of an insectoid behemoth they soon dub a M.U.T.O. (Massive Unidentified Target Organism). Think of a cross between a praying mantis, a bat and steam shovel. When the MUTO's mate hatches in Nevada (it makes sense, trust me) their meeting place is apparently San Francisco, where Ford has just left his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and young son. 

When the King of Monsters does show up, the Army drafts a plan to draw all three radiation-hungry monsters out to sea and blow them up, despite Serizowa's insistence that Godzilla has come to kill the MUTOs and restore nature's balance. There is, as in every great Kaiju movie, massive destruction (though this time it's Honolulu, Las Vegas and San Francisco that take the beatings) and an intense battle between three super-gigantic (Big G is at least 10 times his original size) monsters, two of whom should have known better. What little plot there is, mostly revolves around Ford trying to both save the world and get home to his family. Everyone seems to be having a grand time, despite the hyperbolic circumstances of the story. Cranston is as wonderful as always, while Juliette Binoche is wasted in a what amounts to a cameo as Joe's wife. But this is Taylor-Johnson's movie, and his beautiful green eyes (the same shade as my mother's) don't make up for the fact that he never takes his shirt off. Seriously though, it's nice to see an action hero outside of a Marvel movie who can actually act, despite not being given much more than genre tropes with which to work (not that those tropes don't serve the film - they are actually de rigeur.

The CGI is just terrific and the astonishing score by the prolific Alexandre Desplat really works to help Edwards paint moments of nearly silent terror in what could have been an ear-splittingly loud movie from start to finish (far from it). Expect Oscar noms for Sound, Sound Editing and Sound Effects on top of those for Special Visual Effects and Cinematography. My companion specifically requested that we not see it in 3D (his eyes are worse than mine) and I didn't miss it, per se, though I think I really need to see it again in 3D for the fullest effect.

For my first big Tent-Pole of the season, Godzilla  really had the potential to go either way. Thankfully it totally went the right way! Do yourselves a favor and see Godzilla on the big screen in a theater with a good sound system. **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Godzilla is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of destruction, mayhem and creature violence."

I must admit, Godzilla was a very happy cap to Uncle P's most excellent weekend. It started with a completely painless purchase of a new washing machine (finally and thank His Noodly Appendages) at h.h.gregg. If you don't have them where you live, write them and ask them to open a store near you (that is a rare and completely unsolicited endorsement -- I have found that major appliance purchases are often painful, drawn-out affairs, but they were terrific). I then celebrated the last trip to the laundromat I ever want to take. That same evening, my dear K, who has been in a show for what seemed like forever, came over for cheese-steaks; "Will and Grace;" "Grimm;" "Face-Off" and Yahtzee! (I kicked her butt!) Today, after a thorough dusting, I made a very successful and yummy batch of mozzarella-stuffed meatballs and sauce for dinner and then met M for a terrifically fun movie! It's the little things... life finally seems to be getting back to (or gaining a new version of) some semblance of 'normal' in my life. That's a very good thing.

More, anon.

Prospero

This Is the Best They Got?

Aaron Eckhart as a Hot Creature

Along with Dracula, Frankenstein and Frankenstein's Monster (or Creature) have been the subjects of movies since the days of Edison. 

Most people think of James Whale's Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein from Universal in the 1930's. Hammer Films had their own version of the franchise in the 70's and there have been any number of stage and television productions of the story. Portrayed in various versions by Boris Karloff; Bela Lugosi; Lon Chaney, Jr; Glenn Strange; Fred Gwynne; Christopher Lee; Peter Boyle; Peter Hinwood; Shuler Hensley and Robert DiNiro (among many others) in I, Frankenstein, Aaron Eckhart is the Creature from Mary Shelley's novel, still alive after 200 years and apparently drawn into a fight with gargoyles or some such nonsense. The movie comes from the same people who keep making those deplorable Underworld movies. Eckhart and British character actor Bill Nighy (Shaun of the Dead; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest) are the headliners among a cast of unknowns in a cheesy Underworld/Legion mash-up of some kind. Based on the "Unpublished" graphic novel by actor and Underworld writer Kevin Grevioux, I, Frankenstein is conceptually interesting, but...

Personally, I haven't seen a trailer ever work so hard to convince audiences to stay away from what looks to be an absolute piece of Winter Cinema Garbage.

I don't know if it's the ridiculous dialogue ("Frankenstein must be destroyed!")*; the atrocious CGI FX (1997 called, they want their Macs back) or Eckhart's impersonation of Christian Bale's Batman... Well, they all contribute to what looks like traditional January/February studio crap dump. It makes me glad they waited until after Halloween. Both Eckhart and Nighy are better than this. I just hope they invite me to the latest summer house it bought them.

*


More, anon.
Prospero

Indie Horrors I Can't Wait to See

Bad Milo

Okay - back to the usual nonsense, eh? There are two indie horror movies (via) coming out soon (one a comedy, the other decidedly not a comedy) that Uncle P is pumped to see.

The first is Bad Milo from director and co-writer Jacob Vaughn. Ken Marino (about to be seen in the stoner comedy We're the Millers) plays Ken, a guy who thinks his stomach problems are caused by stress. Unfortunately, it turns out that Ken has a demon living in his intestines. A demon who is intent on killing the people causing Ken's stress. The amazing cast includes Patrick Warburton ("The Tick;" "Family Guy;" "Rules of Engagement"); Peter Stormare (Fargo; The Brothers Grimm; "Prison Break"); Gillian Jacobs ("Community"); Stephen Root ("News Radio;" O Brother Where Art Thou; "Boardwalk Empire") and Mary Kay Place ("Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman;" The Big Chill; "Big Love"). Talk about a dream cast! Bad Milo is certainly not a movie for everyone, but it is right up Uncle P's alley (you should excuse the expression) and I especially love the use of practical effects, harkening bad to the days of 80's indie horror movies like Basket Case. Here's the NSFW Red Band trailer:

Bad Milo will be available OnDemand starting August 29th and in limited release in theaters on October 4th. Bad Milo is being released by Magnet Films, the same company that gave us the sentient tire movie, Rubber.

Meanwhile, premiering at the Toronto Independent Film Festival, September 5th through the 14th,  Almost Human will almost certainly provide fewer laughs than Bad Milo. 

Mark (Josh Ethier) disappears into a bright light. Two years later, a string of grisly murders convinces his friend Seth (Graham Skipper) that Mark has come back, albeit with something... not quite right inside him. Shot in New Hampshire with a cast of unknowns, the trailer for Almost Human looks like it might be the trailer for the next "X-Files" movie as made by Sean S. Cunningham:

No U.S. release date has been announced for Almost Human, but I'll be sure to let you know when it is.

More, anon.
Prospero

Sorry - Monsters Are Still Real, Kids.

Faneuil Hall - Boston, Massachusetts.

So... Yesterday, another insane person (or persons) perpetrated another horrific crime against innocent people, this time against those who were attending and/or participating in the Boston Marathon.  I needed a day to process yet another horrific event before I could comment on it. And here's what I think.

The first time I ever went to Boston, I was working for a facility which housed mentally and physically disabled people. It was what I thought I wanted to do with my life right out of school. The 'school' really turned out to be a place where rich people dumped off the children of whom they were ashamed, but that's another story for another time. 

Anyway, a client was going home for the Holidays and I and another 'Houseparent' were asked to accompany him on the short flight to Boston. We flew in in the early morning morning, dropped the client off with his family and had nine hours to explore and play before flying home again. We shopped at Faneuil Hall; we walked all around downtown and ended up in a seafood place because the young lady I was with (i have no memory of her name) wanted chowder. I hate clam chowder and I have no idea what I ate - probably a fried platter. But I liked the city's vibe and wanted to go back.

In college, my friends Terry and Marly and I drove up to visit our friend Brian at his grandparents' once state-of-the-art mid-century home in Amherst. The next day we went into Boston and I am proud to say that my 20-something self did pretty good navigating the insanity that is Boston traffic. There was also an infamous 'research' trip to Salem (we were doing The Crucible and we left on Thursday, the 12th, after Mary called my new job, weeping and saying she was my sister and that Grandmom had died, so I could leave early*) which is very close to Boston. Of course, my dear K has family ties to the area, and I've been there on more than one occasion with her. It's a good town, filled with college students; teachers and professors and businesses of every kind, just like any major city. There are good neighborhoods and bad ones; fun things to do and lame things to do; history, art, theatre; shopping; great bars - Boston has always meant a very good time, every time I've been there.

So please bear with me when I say that I can't imagine the horror, the pain and the suffering inflicted on people who were, up until that moment, also experiencing Boston as a very good time. The fear and confusion must have been so intense. And so much pain (both physical and emotional). Horrible!

And for what? As of this writing, we still don't know who or why. Of course, the why almost doesn't matter. Did 'God' tell someone to do this to advance a political agenda? Or did a dog claiming to be God tell someone to do this so someone will finally acknowledge his pathetic existence? Was a spurned lover out to kill an ex who was running in the marathon or in the crowd? Maybe an angry, disqualified runner from the past wanted to exact his revenge. It doesn't matter.

What matters are the people killed and maimed; people whose lives have been irrevocably and horribly changed. And whether this was the act of an organized group of religious fanatics or of a loner writing a manifesto in a woodshed, it was ultimately an act of madness. When we were children, our parents did their best to convince us that there are no monsters under the bed or in the closet or hiding behind the coats on the coat-rack. "Monsters aren't real," they told us. But they lied. While there may be no green-skinned bogey-men with fangs and claws waiting to rend us to pieces, there are other monsters who never fail to prove their existence. In schools, malls, movie theaters and major sporting events; on trains and in office buildings; in the air and on the the ground; the monsters keep shouting "I am here! I am to be feared! I am a Monster!" 

Here's the thing: Don't fear the monster. He doesn't deserve your fear. Find the monster and punish him, so other monsters may think twice. I know there are far more good people in the world than bad, just as there are more beautiful things than ugly things. There's great art and literature and philanthropists and scientists who are working to sure disease and end suffering. There are dew-covered spiderwebs spilling prismatic rainbows in the morning sun and exotically plumed birds wading in warm swamps; romantic sunsets; sparkling beaches; fields of wildflowers... you get the idea. And we all should be able to take time to revel in the good things about life, without worrying if a bomb is sitting in that trashcan on the corner or if the guy sitting next to me at the AMC24 has gun under his unseasonal coat. 

I'm offering no solutions - that's for smarter folks than I to sort out. Of course, without bad things; without pain and suffering; we wouldn't be able to appreciate joy and pleasure, would we? Be glad for every day you wake up. Stop taking things so seriously. Smile.  Let the monsters know we're on to them and that we have no intention of letting them win.

Call me "Pollyana." Call me a cock-eyed optimist. Call me (gasp!) a Liberal. I really think Lennon and McCartney had it right:

Oh - I also think we really need to overhaul the mental heath care system in this country, ASAP. After Reagan dismantled it in the 80's, it's about time we overhauled and reinstituted comprehensive mental health care for those who may pose a danger to society.

More, anon.
Prospero

*Another trip worthy of it's own post.

Kaiju Do Me a Favor?

Cthulhuzilla? (via)

"Using the Beta Capsule, Hiyata has become... Ultraman!" As a kid, my first real introductions to Japanese culture were the Anime series ("Kimba the White Lion;" "Astroboy") and Kaiju  movies and TV shows I watched after school and on Saturday afternoons - Godzilla movies and "Ultraman."  I think even as a kid, I thought they were goofy. The monsters (and even the heroes) were obviously men in rubber suits, stomping around models of mid-century Tokyo. The response of Japanese filmmakers to the horrors of nuclear war, the genre spawned an industry that has found its way into American culture... or did it?

Kaiju [kye-jou] literally means "strange beast" in Japanese. In this case, giant monsters which wreak havoc in a major metropolitan city. Hmm... in what early American movie does a giant monster wreak havoc on a major metropolitan city...?

Hell, Toho studios practically admits they stole the idea in 1962's particularly silly King Kong vs. Godzilla.

And one can certainly go further back than that for tales of giant monsters. Lovecraft created an entire mythology based on giant monsters who ruled the world before the age of men. Conan-Doyle's The Lost World? No, older. I know...think about it - Moby Dick is actually early-American Kaiju. Further back? Sure. 'Jack and the Beanstalk' and any quest to slay a dragon. Earlier? Thor used his hammer on the Ice Giants. Wait, further? Okay - Goliath and Jonah have really bad days. Giant monsters persist in mythology because when early humans first encountered dinosaur fossils, they imagined all sorts of creatures that may have covered such skeletal remains. And just to bring it back full circle, the most recent example of American Kaiju was 2008's first-person, 'found footage' movie from producer J.J. Abrams, Cloverfield:

Having been denied (for now) bringing his vision of At the Mountains of Madness to the screen, director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth; Hellboy) is about to unleash his interpretation of Kaiju with next summer's release of Pacific Rim. A fan of del Toro's ever since 1993's odd little vampire tale Cronos, I have always been in awe of the director's passion for spectacular visuals. The full trailer for Pacific Rim was released online today and even from what little it shows, you can tell that no one's skimping here. Some folks have described Pacific Rim as "Godzilla meets Transformers." I can certainly see how some people might make that correlation but knowing the body of the director's work, I think we're in for something much more.

I have no doubt that Pacific Rim will be decidedly better than the 1998 fiasco that was Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin's Godzilla:

Let's hope the proposed 2014 American reboot of the franchise isn't anything like that. Regardless, I'll be seeing Pacific Rim. Will you?

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: "Monsters"

Sometimes an independent film I really want to see plays in such limited release, I never get to see it here in the wilds of suburbia. Thankfully, cable is changing that for me. Such is the case with writer/director Gareth Edwards' 2010 Monsters. a film I've read a lot about, but didn't get to see until tonight.

Monsters takes up six years after a space probe crash-lands in Mexico, bringing back an alien life form which takes over most of the country, turning it into an "Infected Zone." Each year sees a dangerous alien migration which prompts airstrikes by both the U.S. and Mexican Airforces and has caused the U.S. to erect a gigantic wall along the Mexican border.

When Sam (Whitney Able) is injured in an attack in El Salvador, her wealthy publisher father sends Andrew (Scoot McNairy), one of his photographers, to escort her home. The night before Sam is scheduled to leave on the last ferry of the season, Andrew gets very drunk and loses Sam's passport and the $5,000.00 ferry ticket to a woman whose face we never see. With no other choice but to travel through the Infected Zone, the pair make their way back to America via riverboat and on foot.

What follows is not a typical alien monster movie, but rather an often frightening character study of two very different people who, forced by often horrific circumstances, end up bonding in a surprising way. Sam, apparently engaged to a man she doesn't love, wants only to get home. Andrew, who desperately wants to capture a living alien on film, has a young son who doesn't know he's his father. McNairy (probably best known as Noel on TV's "Bones") and the gorgeous Able (the as-yet-to-be-released-in-the-U.S. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) give lovely, subtle performances as two strangers who bond under extraordinary circumstances. Edwards, on tap to direct the upcoming Godzilla reboot, has crafted a very likeable film, eschewing massive effects work for rather intimate story-telling, albeit in some exotic locales. The effects, also by Edwards, are both creepy and beautiful, especially in the movie's final scene. Edwards' script, which comments on loads of topics (including the current debate on illegal immigration) is smart and poignant, with enough creepy scares to keep it interesting.

The monsters in Monsters, best described as electric scorpion/octopus combinations, are actually few and far-between. When we do see them, it is usually from a distance or at night, where we merely catch glimpses of gigantic legs and tentacles. But this movie is much more about two people on a journey, rather than giant, destructive beasties on a rampage. If you're looking for giant, destructive beasties on the rampage, then Monsters is probably not for you. If you want interesting characters thrown together by extraordinary circumstances, you should see Monsters. *** (Three Stars out of Four). Monsters is currently playing on Showtime Extreme.

I'm glad I finally got to see this movie and am now very interested to see Edwards' take on the most famous kaiju monster of all.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Particularly Twisted Bit of Genius: "Hambuster"

Hambuster

Before we get to tonight's "Main Event" (as it were), there's a new interview out with the brilliant genre director Guillermo del Toro, who is currently in the middle of his upcoming Kaiju Aliens Vs. Giant Robots movie, Pacific Rim. In it, he talks about yet another of my obsessions, the film's score. Composed by Ramin Djwadi (Ironman; "Game of Thrones"), del Toro practically gushes about the score. He also talks about expensive collectibles that I can't afford. You can see the interview here at Collider (via). Personally, I can't wait to see del Toro's version of a kaiju. I'm sure, given that his adaptation of In the Mountains of Madness was kiboshed., the gigantic beasties will be an homage to Lovecraft. Del Toro's is also working on the reboot of Disney's The Haunted Mansion. The 2003 Eddie Murphy movie is completely forgettable twaddle (much like every other Eddy Murphy movie since the first Nutty Professor - and that's being kind). A draft has been submitted, which the director says the studio loved, but he's too busy with Pac-Rim at the moment and IMDb is reporting he has  Pinocchio in pre-production and has announced Hellboy 3, so who knows when or if we'll ever see Disney de Del Toro.

Now that I've bored you all silly, onto the (you should excuse the expression) "meat of the matter" (you'll get that terrible joke in a couple of minutes).  My lovely theatre friend and fellow Humanist, Diana G. posted the video I am about to share on my Facebook Timeline with the comment: "Thought you might enjoy this." Hambuster could mean anything, especially when I saw the YouTube still of a baby on playground horsie. After I watched it, I commented: "J'adore! J'adore! What a particularly twisted bit of genius! Thank you!" And now I have no choice but to share it's deliciousness with you, dear readers. Ladies and germs, the funniest comment on carnivorous activity I've seen in a very long time - I give you Hambuster:

What do you think - Supersize Me meets Little Shop of Horrors via Dawn of the Dead? It doesn't matter, because it's just effing hilarious! Crap! I had to give up Chick-hates-Gays and now I have to give up burgers, too? Damnit! Good thing there's a great Italian/Pizza place and an amazing Chinese place, both within 5 minutes of my house.

Diana, who has been on the Foley crew for both of the JTMF staged radio plays, once commented on some bizarre* Facebook profile picture I had posted with something like: "Can't you ever post a nice profile picture like a kitty or a puppy or something? Of course you can't! And that's why we love you!" For someone I see only a few times a year (which must be remedied), Di knows me so well. 

*Bizarre? Me? Of course, you damned well know that 99% of my Facebook profile pictures are bizarre. And speaking of which, watch for a new Caliban's Revenge profile pic of Uncle P, soon. I'm still choosing from a number of possibilities. 

More, anon.
Prospero

Review: "Prometheus"

Charlize Theron and Idris Elba in Prometheus

In Greek mythology, Prometheus was a Titan who stole fire from the gods to give to mankind and was punished by being bound to a rock, where his liver was eaten every day by an eagle, only to have it regrow every night. In Ridley Scott's film Prometheus, it's the name of a scientific vessel whose crew is in search of the origin of the human race (or so we think). Prometheus may not be a direct prequel to Scott's 1979 Sci-Fi Spook-house classic Alien (as Scott has insisted  since production began), though it certainly takes place in the same universe and Scott fills the movie with all sorts of visual and character references to it (including, though hardly limited to, the film's final moments).

It is 2089 and Dr. Elizabeth "Ellie" Shaw (Noomi Rapace) is an archeologist in search of the origins of man. When she and her lover, Dr. Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Greene) discover several nearly identical cave paintings from unrelated cultures all around the world, they soon find themselves headed for the distant planet the cave paintings depict. They travel there on the Prometheus, a ship built and paid for by the Weyland Corporation (the same company that sends the crew of the Nostromo to discover the acid-blooded xenomorphs in Alien). Also aboard are the ship's Captain (Idris Elba); Weyland executive Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron in her second major release in two weeks); a crew of a dozen or so scientists and David (Michael Fassbender), a robot of Peter Weyland's creation. From at least one previous encounter, we know Weyland's robots don't exactly follow Asimov's Laws of Robotics, and David is certainly no exception. 

The crew awakens from a two-year cryo-sleep early on, in much the same way as the crew of the Nostromo did at the beginning of Alien. Weyland (an almost unrecognizable Guy Pearce under a ton prosthetic age makeup) appears in a holographic message, claiming to be long-dead and introducing Shaw and Holloway to the rest of the crew. The ship lands and the crew discovers a pyramid-like building which houses... well, I won't get too much into it to avoid spoilers. Suffice it to say, what they discover isn't quite what they thought they were looking for.

Scott and writers John Spaihts (last year's The Darkest Hour) and Damon Lindelof ("Lost") explore lots of ideas in the film's nearly 2 and 1/2 hours and while most of it works, a few of their loftier ideas end up not being  fully explored and some members of the audience with whom Dale, Q and I saw it were left unsatisfied. Like "Lost," Prometheus asks far more questions than it answers, but my companions and I didn't mind that at all. Some questions (as the film suggests) aren't meant to be answered.

The visuals and effects in Prometheus are simply outstanding. The alabaster-skinned aliens Shaw calls "The Engineers" are actually quite beautiful (we learn that it is one of these "Engineers" that is found dead in a navigation chair early on in Alien) while the monstrous beasties, once unleashed, are slimy and creepy and a little more than disturbing. Poor Q spent several moments peeping between her fingers and thankfully missed one particularly distressing sequence involving a tiny worm in an eyeball. Alien fans will take much delight in Arthur Max's H.R. Geiger-inspired production design. Marc Streitenfled's score is often amazing, though occasionally over-the-top and Janty Yates' sleek costume designs feel right for 80-some years from now.

 

The performances in Prometheus are uniformly good, with Theron (as yet another ice-hearted bitch) and Fassbender (always amazing) as the stand outs. Rapace (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows) gives a workman-like performance as the eventual Ripley-esque Shaw (they even share similar first names - Ellie and Ellen) and Marshall-Greene (who some casting director must use as Tom Hardy's younger brother in something) is fine. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) has what amounts to a cameo in a dream sequence/flashback as Shaw's father. The rest of the cast is okay, though I found myself trying to figure who was going to die next, rather caring about the actual characters. My biggest quibble with Prometheus is its completely unnecessary use of 3D, which added little-to-nothing to the film experience, unlike Martin Scorsese's brilliant Hugo, from last year.

While not quite as intensely scary as Alien or dishearteningly dystopian as Blade Runner, Scott's latest film is certainly worth seeing and just as much fun as you would hope a summer Sci-Fi/Horror tent-pole movie should be. And of course, it is exactly the kind of movie a 75 year-old genre director should make when facing his own mortality. Is it a classic, like Alien or Blade Runner (or even Thelma and Louise)? Hardly. But it's a great ride with gorgeous visuals (Theron and Fassbender among them) and a scare or three along the way. Only those looking for a true Alien prequel will be disappointed. I'm glad I was not one of them. ***1/2 (Three and a Half out of Four Stars). 

And just to add to the fun, here's a great fake TED Talk video made to promote the film:



More, anon.
Prospero

Real Life Monsters

Growing up, I was taught to believe there were no such things as monsters.

Of course, now I know that's not true. There are monsters. Monsters who disguise themselves as Human Beings. And even worse, those monsters pretend to be Christians, doing everything they can to pervert the teachings of the New Testament for their own means. And people wonder why I am against religion.

Three cases in point:

Case #1 - Texas Governor Rick Perry, who just yesterday released a hateful and decidedly un-Christian campaign video in a desperate attempt to attract homophobic rednecks into supporting his increasingly failing bid to secure the Republican nomination. See for yourselves (if you already haven't):

I feel sick just posting that. Of course, there have been several immediate responses to that hateful message. Thankfully, there are many sane (and often funny) responses to Perry's antiquated rhetoric. Here are two:

And I can't even tell you how many folks have compared Perry's attire in that video to that of Heath Ledger's in Brokeback Mountain. I'm sure he's blew his top at whomever clothed him that day by now. But that doesn't make him any less a monster.

Case #2 - Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum, who continues to spread lies about how gay people are out to erode the "traditional American family." I have some news for you, Mr. Santorum; the traditional family has been on the wane since the 1960's, when people started to realize they had choices in how they conducted their personal lives which were protected by the Constitution. And the Catholic Church is so well-regarded in matters of sexual propriety these days, everyone agrees with you. NOT! Sadly, there are some people who agree with Santorum's nonsense. I'm happy to admit that I don't know a single one of them.

In fact, Santorum seems so obsessed with gay sex it makes me wonder if "... the Lady doth protest too much," if you know what I mean (wink-wink, nudge-nudge), Get a life, already, would you? Of course, 'gay panic' is the least of the Frothy Mix's worries. His polling numbers are so low, he's the butt (every pun intended) of even Tea Part jokes.

Finally, Case #3 - Pat Robertson. The successor as host of "The 700 Club" to that pillar of morality Jim Bakker, Robertson continues to spew lies and hatred disguised as Christian values. In response to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's amazing and historic speech to the UN on International LGBT rights, Robertson had this to say:

Did Robertson conveniently skip the part about "Love thy neighbor?" And I have to think he's just ignoring that "The Wrath of God" has not come down upon Canada; Belgium; Iceland; Israel; Mexico; The Netherlands; Portugal; Spain; South Africa; Argentina; Sweden and Nepal for passing legislation allowing same-sex marriage. Or maybe he's become so isolated by his own ignorance, he doesn't even know that those countries exist. Fanaticism can do that, so I am told. 

Honestly, I don't know how these men sleep at night. I suppose they actually believe the lies they are spreading. I have to suppose they don't realize they are actually spewing hate speech. I hope they are simply blinded by what they believe to be the truth (as sad as that is). I can only hope they will one day wake up and realize how wrong they are. Until that day (should it ever come), I will continue to vote, write and speak against their lies, hate and intolerance. And I hope you will join me in doing so.

Okay - yet another rant over. Back to my usual nonsense, soon.

More, anon.

Prospero