Memorial Day Retro Review X 4 or: How I Got Netflix Back

Insidious: Chapter 2

Thankfully, among the many things my amazing sister did for me, was help an electronically-challenged old fart reset his Wii, which got me back to Netflix, where I caught two of the four movies I finally got to see in between visits and the work they did.

The first was last year's Steve Carrell box-office failure comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, a movie from which I think most people expected too much. And while it fails at being the Anchorman of magician movies, it succeeds quite well on smaller levels. Burt (Carrell) and Anton (Steve Buscemi) have been best friends and magical partners since they were bullied 5th graders. Ten years after signing a multi-million dollar contract to headline at hotelier Doug Munny's (get it?) new Vegas hotel, they have done the same tired show thousands of times and have been reduced to bickering strangers thanks to Burt's full-on Diva mode. In comes Criss Angel-inspired Steve Grey (a VERY in-shape Jim Carrey), who is clearly insane, and suddenly ticket sales for Burt & Anton are falling. At the urging of Munny (the late, great James Gandolfini in one of his last roles), the two try a spectacular new stunt, which goes immediately awry and splits the pair for good. Alan Arkin plays Burt's childhood hero as his patently crotchety old man, but it serves the role well and Olivia Wilde is the perfect foil for Carrell's antics as stage-hand-turned-assistant, Jane. Of course, the eventual romance between the two was telegraphed well into the first act, but was still completely unconvincing. One of my favorite character actors - Jay Mohr - has a supporting role of a fellow magician with the hilariously unlikely name of 'Rick the Implausible.' What struck me most about this movie was it's heart. You could tell it was made with love by people who believed in it, and it actually is a sweet story of friendship and redemption, the last act is so ridiculous as to make what's come before, meaningless. I went in with lowered expectations and came out surprised by it's goofy sweetness. ** 1/2 (Two and a Half Stars Out of Four). The Incredible Burt Wonderstone currently playing on Showtime.

Next up was Insidious: Chapter 2 on Netflix. I was very much a fan of the first film, but missed it's sequel's theatrical release and was excited to return to the creepy realm created by Leigh Whannell and James Wan in the first film. The original cast is back, though it was odd hearing Lin Shaye's voice coming out of the mouth of  'young-alike' actor Linsey Seim. Whannell's script goes a long to explaining why the events of the first film happened, though oddly giving the explanation an exceptionally Freudian twist (though the Mama in this movie puts the 'batsh*t' in 'batsh*t crazy.'

Performances are fine, across the board though it is apparent that Wan has lost his taste for horror (he has announced that he is through with the genre) and the sequel lacks the intense creep factor of the original. ** (Two Out of Four Stars)

Showtime again  for 2012's The Watch. Originally titled Neighborhood Watch, the title was changed after the shooting of Trayvon Martin in Florida. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade form a Neighborhood Watch after Stiller's co-worker is found murdered at the Costco he manages. What follows is a weird mash-up of Science Fiction; buddy comedy and a d*ck joke every two to three minutes. Sadly, none of it works. That's not surprising since it's directed by former SNL writer/director Akiva Schaffer. The movie plays like an extended SNL skit with a fertility issues subplot that has little to do with the impending alien invasion they uncover. Nothing new. No surprises. Lots and lots and lots of d*ck jokes. I must admit to chuckling once or twice, but hardly enough to recommend The Watch. (Zero Out of Four Stars).

Finally and quite happily, the last movie I watched this weekend was also the best. Worst Best Movie is a very heartwarming documentary I've been wanting to see for the past five years, about the cult-status surrounding the 1990 horror movie Troll 2, which many believe is the Worst Movie Ever Made. I've seen Troll 2, several times. I agree that it is terrible beyond terrible, but fully understand it's watchability. Seeing the cast (most of whom were embarrassed to have been in the film) get their moments in the sun is quite fun and even inspiring, despite the obvious mental decline of one its members. I've been reading about Worst Best Movie for a long time and am very glad that I finally got to see it. If you haven't, you should! Nilbog! **** (Four Out of Four Stars). 

Retro Review: "Now You See Me"

I missed Now You See Me when it was in theaters earlier this spring, though I found the concept to be fascinating. I caught it tonight OnDemand, simply because there was literally nothing else worth watching on broadcast or regular cable TV (no, I don't watch or care about "Breaking Bad" or the NFL and am not ashamed to admit it - bring on "The Walking Dead!").

Four street magicians (Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher, Woody Harrelson and Dave Franco) are given Tarot cards with an invitation to meet at an NYC address by a mysterious, hooded stranger. A year later, billed as the "The Four Horsemen," they appear together at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and pull off what appears to be a magical heist of a French bank, dispensing over 3 million Euros to the audience. Among that audience is magic debunker Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman), who has made millions exposing fraudulent magicians, starting in the 1970's with a magician who apparently died while trying to escape from a safe dumped into the East River. The four are immediately detained by the FBI, interrogated by Special Agent Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo); Agent Fuller (Michael Kelly) and Interpol Detective Alma Dray (Melanie Laurent). But with no real evidence, the four are released. Promoter Arthur Tressler (Michael Caine) follows the four to New Orleans, where they drain his bank account to enrich the victims of Katrina, much to the consternation of Rhodes and Dray. What follows is a cat-and-mouse game of deception, distraction and double crosses which kept me guessing right up to the movie's surprising end.

Director Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk; Clash of the Titans) doesn't exactly have a stellar record, though he does manage to display a bit of flashy style here. The screenplay by Ed Solomon (Men in Black), Boaz Yakin (Safe) and Edward Ricourt has more than a few issues (the hooded stranger's motive is made painfully clear early on and the hokey secret society subplot is just a bit hard to swallow), but the cast's performances are earnest and it's obvious they're all having fun, especially when given some hilariously snarky dialog. And that's all this movie really asks of you - to have fun. Terrific SFX; multiple locations; an exciting car chase through Manhattan and a new twist on the heist genre are more than enough to make Now You See Me worth the 6 bucks it costs to see it OnDemand, especially if there's nothing of interest available. 

Now You See Me 2 is already rumored and I must admit I wouldn't mind spending another 2 hours with these characters. All in all, Now You See Me  is a fun and entertaining twist on the heist genre, despite some rather obvious and silly flaws. **1/2 (Two and Half Stars Out of Four).

More, anon.
Prospero

A War of Wit with an Unarmed Opponent.

The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect our privacy.

(Insert "Law and Order" doink-doink sound here)

I thought I'd said all I had to say about this topic, but then today... 

I have a Facebook friend - a lovely retired lady (let's call her "Claire") - who happens to be a Christian. Claire is sweet and good-natured and I have never heard her utter an unkind word to anyone. All well and good. When she posts religious things, I don't respond. I post plenty of Humanist things. Claire never responds to those. I always respond when she posts travel pictures and such. But today...

Today, Claire shared a link to a Chick Fil-A online coupon with all of her Facebook friends. I hope she shared it in the best of intentions. I can't imagine otherwise. There is truly not a mean bone in her body. I can't say the same for one of Claire's Christian friends. Uncle P responded to Claire's link and Claire's friend (let's call her "Lamia") responded to me, and so on. Here's how it went:

Uncle P: I don't support companies that support hate groups.

Lamia: They don't support hate groups ... They support Gods irrefutable Word in scripture. Get informed.

Uncle P: Lamia, I'd suggest you get informed yourself. They give money to groups which have been officially identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as Hate Groups.

Lamia: Let's talk about "informed" God is about love, BUT there are rules...hate groups do not like rules. You want to live your life doing what ever you want and go to hell, than go for it. If you want to live life in eternity, there are rules. So, rules=heaven......do whatever you want=the fiery lake.........your choice

Her response has nothing to do with what I said, but then this appears:

Claire: From a Friend: [REDACTED] wrote: "Good suggestion. I went to SPLC's website and searched for Ckick-fil-a. Except for one incident where a man attacked someone while carrying a bag from CFA, there was no mention of CFA."

To which I responded:

Uncle P: I never said that the SPLC mentioned Chick Fil-A. Chick Fil-A is not a hate group. They do, however, donate to several groups on the SPLC's list, which can be found by doing a simple search of Chick Fil-A's beneficiaries. Lamia, I feel sorry that you aren't able to think for yourself and are unable make informed decisions based on true morality, rather than dogma. I am finished commenting on this thread. Claire - I'm sorry to have caused such a fuss.

Trying to have a honest, open and cogent conversation (even on line) with a Wingnut Christian is harder than convincing a top to bottom for the first time (I am getting so saucy, these days!). I've come to realize that such people are very, very afraid to die. Hell, we all are. We just don't admit it to ourselves every day. We'd go mad, if we did. See yesterday's post for my view on that. It seems to me that extremely religious people must fear death so much, that they have to believe in stories that promise them an eternal afterlife. They can't appreciate their life for its own sake. They don't appreciate the majesty in the odds of their very existence. They don't see the beauty of the Fibonacci Sequence in everything that exists. The thought that they may only exist once terrifies them. Instead, they should learn to take joy in the fact that they exist in the first place. It makes me sad to think that people still want to live some parts of their lives based on bronze-age mythology. 

My sense of morality comes out of knowing how rare and fragile our lives are, and doing everything I can to make the lives of not only the people I know and love, but all people everywhere, at least as good as mine. That's what should matter. I can't imagine anything more immoral than a person or corporation who gives money to any organization which actively works to hurt people. How is that 'Christian' in any sense of the word (at least as I was raised to understand it)? I wanted to tell Lamia that she should sell her daughter into slavery and she'd better hope she never let a shrimp pass through her lips, but thought better of it. She wouldn't understand it, I'm sure. And I wasn't about to attack her punctuation and grammar, as bad as they are. I figured I'd let the Grammar Nazi's do it here. Have it it all you GNs!

And Lamia - since you apparently still believe in magic, here's something that will undoubtedly have you accusing the guy of being a witch:

Just so you know, Yann Frisch is Uncle P's newest obsession, even though everything I've found on YouTube seems to be variations on the same routine. It's still pretty impressive.

More, anon.

Prospero