Retro Review: "Frozen"

Okay - since it's been so long and everyone else in the world but M and I have already seen it, I will not be giving any spoiler warnings in this review. And you also need to know that Uncle P is a formerly voracious reader...

The weather this holiday weekend has been exceptionally spectacular in Bucks, and we have enjoyed a sunny, low humidity and comfortably temperate 3  days. Now that Dear D has installed the new bannister in Uncle P's house, more progress can be made towards what will undoubtedly be a post in the near future. I promise. 

Anyway, on Friday I watched TV and grilled some dogs. It was a holiday and I wasn't going to waste it on chores (though I did so a small load of laundry, to be ahead for  the rest of the weekend). Yesterday I dusted, cleaned Skye's cage; ran my amazing new Samsung vacuum and almost completed hanging shelves and a few art pieces (really, only minor adjustments are needed). I had also planned to take myself to see M's celebrity look-alike in "Deliver Us from Evil" sometime over the weekend. But the weather on Saturday, while breezy, just made me want to sit out side and finish the novel ("Dr. Sleep" by Stephen King - his brilliant 35-years-later sequel to "The Shining") I am almost embarrassed to admit took me 6 months to read. I used to read at least two or three novels a week.The first time I read "Carrie," I read it in a single afternoon.  Now I'm lucky if I read one or two a year. I blame the Internet. But none of that has anything to do with M calling me up to invite me to his house for dinner. Had I gone to the movies, I would have missed his call and eventually the chance to see Frozen with someone else who had never seen it.

So- Elsa and Anna are princesses in a mythical Nordic country and Elsa is born with magical powers over snow and ice. While playing, Elsa accidentally hurts Anna and their parents take Anna to the trolls, who magically erase all memories of Elsa's powers from her mind. To avoid further accidents, it is decided that Elsa must avoid Anna at all cost. Years later, as Elsa ascends the the thrown, Anna unwittingly releases the powers that Elsa has so long tried to hide, turning the country's citizens against her for sorcery. Very loosely based on Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Snow Queen," Frozen is almost disturbingly rife with Disney Princess tropes, despite every obvious effort to avoid them. That's not saying that Frozen is bad. Far from it. It was gorgeous on a 60" flat-screen TV. I can imagine how much more so on a giant movie screen. The digital imagery is nothing less than gorgeous. And I totally get why Jennifer Lee made the changes to Andersen's original (Hell - the Little Mermaid kills herself at the end of his version). I just wish she hadn't done so, so predictably. There is hardly a single surprise in the plot, but it's a flaw most critics seemed to have ignored.

Beside the often stunning artwork, the voice performances are rather amazing, with some very catchy tunes from Christophe Beck (who I must assume wrote the often clever lyrics, since IMDb doesn't credit anyone for them). While no one can belt out an "I'm Coming Out" show-stopper anthem like Idina Menzel does with the ubiquitous "Let It Go," this is Kristen Bell's, Josh Gad's and openly gay  Jonathan Groff's movie, all the way. They are all joined by some of my personal personal favorites, including Alan Tudyk (whom M identified before I could); Edie McClurg (a favorite of my sister's and mine since Letterman's daytime show) and "Futurama" star Maurice LaMarche, 

Yes, yes. I get why "Let It Go" has become a sort of gay-anthem. And now I understand why the so-called 'Christian Right' have reacted the same way they did to Harry Potter, but Frozen is undoubtedly the best CGI film out of Disney Studios to date, despite having a "let's-throw-everything-up-on-the-wall-and-see-what-stcks" screenplay. *** (Three out of Four Stars).

More, anon.
Prosepro

A Pre-Apocalyptic Bicentennial

As of this writing, Australia and New Zealand are still standing well into 12/21/12 (and as I am updating this post it is actually 12:23 AM on 12/21/12 Eastern Time). But I started this post on 12/20 (confused yet?) just in time to celebrate the 200th Anniversary of the publication of the first edition of "Grimm's Fairy Tales" in 1812. 

The Brothers Grimm were folklorists and were the first to publish the tales they collected over the years. Without them, Uncle P's sister would not be the Disney Dork she is today. Indeed, Disney might be a completely different evil corporation based only on Hans Christian Andersen; Jules Verne; Helen Mayer; P.L. Travers; Sir Richard Burton; Carlo Collodi; Felix Salton and de Villeneuve. No Snow White or Sleeping Beauty; no Cinderella or Rapunzel. Or any of the recent spate of Fairy Tale movies, including the upcoming Jack the Giant Slayer and Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. 

And two of television's most popular television shows (ABC's ridiculous "Once Upon a Time" and NBC's equally ridiculous but far superior, "Grimm") wouldn't be enthralling the masses. And while it wasn't exactly a blockbuster, we shouldn't forget innovative experimental director Terry Gilliam's 2005 film The Brothers Grimm, an underrated and under-appreciated fantasy about how the authors might have gained their inspiration. Never mind the perfect casting of Matt Damon; Heath Ledger; Jonathan Pryce; Peter Stormare; Lena Headey and Monica Bellucci -- the connecting of several real Grimm plots may have proven too much for audiences who just didn't get some of the more subtle jokes and obscure references.

Even worse, audiences who only know the Disney versions of the stories and have no idea of the horrific elements in the original stories. Eyes plucked out by birds; heels and toes cut off to fit glass slippers; decapitated horse heads giving advice to a deposed princess; children hacking their families to death in a cannibalistic rampage... The stories may well have been written by Eli Roth or Stephen King. 

So here's too 200 years or terrifying fantasies that didn't always have happily-ever-after endings and the movies they've inspired:

And of course, what kind of gay musical theatre icon would I be, if I didn't include at least one number from Into the Woods:



Happily ever after, my butt!

More, anon.
Prospero

Jack the Lumpy-Headed

Nicholas Hoult

I try really hard not to be mean about people. I do. And I am hardly a 10, myself (maybe a 5 -- a 6 on a really good day). Still -- there is something about Nicholas Hoult's head that disturbs me. I didn't notice it in About a Boy. He was just a kid; who knows how kids will turn out as adults. And I honestly didn't care for that rather treacly movie, anyway. 

I really didn't take notice until he played young Hank McCoy (AKA 'Beast') in X-Men First Class. I even mentioned his lopsided looks in my review of that movie though to be honest, I attributed it to the character's mutantism. I never saw the BBC series "Skins" or the remake of Clash of the Titans, though I did take note of him in the trailer for the Zombie RomCom Warm Bodies in which he plays a teenaged zombie with feelings.

Today, the full trailer for Bryan Singer's Jack the Giant Slayer was released online, and Hoult's head once again struck me as weird. I don't know what it is that exactly bothers me about him. Is it the over-grown eyebrows? The beady eyes? The thin-lipped mouth? The five-head? Maybe it's the wonky ears or the almost-but-not-quite-square jaw. Or maybe it's just the combination of all of those things. Hoult may be a talented performer and I suppose many people find him attractive. But I just don't get it. There's just no aesthetic balance there. And while I am sure he is a perfectly wonderful human being and I certainly bear no ill-will against him, I find myself oddly repulsed by his physiognomy. 

Anyway, here's the trailer for Singer's entry into the recent Fairy Tale Movie craze:

It looks terrific (other than Hoult's weird head) and features two amazing actors: Ewan McGregor (who just gets hotter as he ages) and the always amazing Stanley Tucci (whom I have lusted after ever since seeing Big Night). Singer, who made the first two X-Men movies (and is scheduled to make perplexingly titled prequel sequel {!} X-Men: Days of Future Past), has rarely disappointed me (even with the highly underrated Superman Returns), so I am looking forward to seeing what he does with a Grimm classic.

For further reference, here's the trailer for Warm Bodies:

Warm Bodies comes out in February and Jack the Giant Slayer in March.

Uncle P has a real stinker lined up for tomorrow's Turkey Day Turkey post, so I hope you'll check it out.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Cottingley Fairies

Really?

April Fools! To honor the day, I thought I would briefly touch upon one of the most successful hoaxes ever perpetrated, The Cottingley Fairies.

First published in 1919, the photos of 'fairies' cavorting with young cousins Elise Wright and Frances Griffiths caused quite a stir among Victorian esoterics, including 'Sherlock Holmes' creator, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (who would later join magician Harry Houdini as a debunker of psychics and mediums). Doyle even wrote a book about the event, The Coming  of the Fairies. There were tons of articles written about the photos and hordes of Victorian-era folks longed to believe in the photographic 'evidence' of otherworldly beings. Doyle was convinced of the photos' authenticity, though many were certain the pictures were faked.

 

It wasn't until 1983 that that Elise and Frances admitted to faking the photos, though both maintained they had actually seen real fairies in their many trips to the beck (stream) in Cottingley, West Yorkshire. The story inspired two films, including Fairy Tale: A True Story:

Personally, I've met several fairies, though none of them were particularly magical (Sorry - couldn't help myself). Much like Houdini and James Randi, I am still waiting for absolute proof of psychic phenomena. Until then, I shall remain an open-minded skeptic and hope all of you do so, as well.

More, anon.
Prospero

2012 - Year of the Fairy Tale Movie

1. 
   
   I've already posted the trailers for the two Snow White movies being released next year. Now comes the trailer for openly gay director Bryan Singer's upcoming take on 'Jack and the Beanstalk,' Jack the Giant Killer. Singer (best known for directing The Usual Suspects; the first two X-Men movies and the much maligned and under-appreciated Superman Returns), has cast Nicholas Hoult (About a Boy; X-Men: First Class); Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge!); Stanley Tucci (The Devil Wears Prada); Bill Nighy (Sean of the Dead; Love, Actually); Ian McShane ("Deadwood;" Snow White and the Hunstman) and Eleanor Tomlinson (Alice in Wonderland) in the story of a poor boy whose magic beans grow a giant stalk which leads to a land of giants. Singer's film has nothing to do with the terrible 1962 movie of the same name, which also has nothing to do with beans.

Here's the trailer (once again via):

But Singer is just the latest to jump on the Fairy Tale bandwagon. Both ABC and NBC beat the film studios to the punch with ABC's very silly "Once Upon a Time" and NBC's darker and far superior "Grimm." And it hardly stops there. Also scheduled for 2012 is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. Starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Atterton. Peter Storemare and Famke Janssen in a story about the grown-up siblings offering their services as the title suggests. And then there's the 3D re-release of Disney's Beauty and the Beast; the animated Dorothy of Oz and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.   

Of course, director Terry Gilliam (Brazil) was way ahead of the curve with 2005's also much-maligned and under-appreciated The Brothers Grimm, starring Matt Damon and the much-missed Heath Ledger:

And that movie has nothing to do with the "Star Studded" 1962 cheesefest, The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm:

So glad I was too young to appreciate that craptacular, even at 'popular prices!'

More, anon.
Prospero

Who's the Fairest of Them All?

So, just as there are dueling Fairy Tale shows on network TV (the rather silly "Once Upon a Time" on ABC and the far-superior "Grimm" on NBC), next year will see two dueling Snow White movies. 

First up is Mirror, Mirror, a kid friendly comedy from director Tarsem Singh (Immortals; The Cell) starring Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane and Lily Collins. Scheduled for release on March 16th, Tarsem's version appears to be a light and rather silly take on the tale, especially given what we can see of Lane's performance:

Of course, Singh's signature visual flare is on full display here. I'll probably wait to see this one on DVD or OnDemand.

June 1st is the scheduled date for first-time director Rupert Sanders' Snow White and the Huntsman, starring Kristen Stewart; Thor hottie Chris Hemsworth; the stunning Charlize Theron; "Deadwood" alum Ian McShane; Ray Winstone and Bob Hoskins.

Sanders' take appears to be a bit darker in tone, and (you should excuse the pun) grimmer of the two, featuring the gorgeous Theron as a very evil queen who will stop at nothing to be able to claim herself the "fairest of them all.' The trailer (embedded below) makes me want to see this one in a theater.

While many of us think of Disney's 1937 animated Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to be the ultimate version the Brothers Grimm story, there are many variations of story. Personally, I love the Showtime version "Snow White: A Tale of Terror" starring Sigourney Weaver as the evil queen. I also love Gregory Maguire's ("Wicked") deconstructed version of the story, also titled "Mirror, Mirror."

So, which "Snow White" movie are you looking forward to see?

More, anon.
Prospero.

TV Review: "Once Upon a Time"

Let's take another zombie break, shall we? That's the beautiful and talented Lana Parilla as the Evil Queen in ABC's newest series "Once Upon a Time." Parilla's big break came on "Spin City." Since then she's appeared on the failed "Boomtown;" the failed "Swingtown" and the failed "Miami Medical." Sadly, it looks like she's landed another turkey with "Once Upon a Time."

A sequel of sorts to the familiar stories we all grew up with, "Once..." starts with Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) rescuing Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin). On their wedding day, the Evil Queen promises to put a curse on all the fairy-tale characters, sending them "somewhere horrible" (the 'real' world). A pregnant Snow (Disney characters have sex?), unnerved by the prediction, seeks out the imprisoned Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle) for advice. He tells her that the daughter she is carrying will save them all on her 28th birthday.

Meanwhile, in modern Boston, Emma Swan ("House" alum Jennifer Morrison) appears to be on a blind date with a handsome rogue. Turns out she's really a bonds person, taking down a creep who skipped out on bail. She arrives home to celebrate her birthday alone with a cupcake when her doorbell rings. There she finds young Henry (Jared Gilmore), a 10 year-old who claims to be the son she gave up for adoption. Begging her to come home with him, Henry explains that Emma holds the key to saving him and everyone else in Storybrooke, Maine from the curse. He says his adoptive mother, the town's mayor (Parilla) doesn't really love him and he knows why. After dropping Henry home, a wolf in the road leads to an accident which keeps Emma in town and after some poking around, she decides to stay for a week at Granny's Bed and Breakfast. There she runs into Mr. Gold (Carlyle) who, Granny explains, owns the town.

Jumping back and forth between the two worlds, "Once Upon a Time" does it's best to create a cohesive story. And because Disney owns ABC, the show uses the Disney character names (Doc; Sleepy; Grumpy; Jimminy Cricket, etc.) with abandon. But try as they may, the writers ("Lost" and Tron: Legacy writers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis) just don't cut it. While the fairy-tale land is gorgeously rendered in terrific CGI with beautiful and elaborate costumes, the whole thing is just too damned silly to be taken seriously. It might have worked if they had taken the characters and set them in the modern world as an allegory, but making them the actual fairy tale characters trapped in the 'real' world, is just ridiculous. 

And before you say "Enchanted" (a movie I loved) to me, I have to say that there is not a hint of comic irony to "Once Upon a Time." We're meant to view this nonsense as a serious dramatic take on the genre. I'm hoping that NBC's upcoming competing fairy-tale series "Grimm" does a better job of it, though I'm dubious.

I'll probably watch "Once Upon a Time" a few more times before I give up on it entirely, but I don't anticipate the show making it past it's first season.

The real losers here are the talented cast, forced to take part in the most ridiculous series in recent memory. while retaining straight faces. *(One Star Out of Four).

And here's the trailer for NBC's competing series, "Grimm"

 

At least they have the good taste to use a Eurythimics song...

More, anon.

Prospero