Even Nomi's Laughing

Okay -- first things first: Why is Cher not billed on this poster? She's without a doubt the biggest star in the movie. And it's not like I'm some fawning Cher queen who thinks she is the be all to end all. Far from it. Yes, we all love her for who she is, but really... she's Cher, bitches. How do Xtina, Veronica Mars and some dopey bint of boyflesh actually rate their names on the poster for what will obviously be one of the worst movies ever made, and poor Little Miss One Name gets no credit at all? All I can think is, she doesn't want any.

Really? A movie about a burlesque theatre in 2010? Writer/director Steven Antin (whose only other directorial credit is the straight-to-video sequel Glass House: The Good Mother) must have been smoking something really good while watching Showgirls to come up with this cinematic shipwreck-in-waiting. I can only think that Joe Ezterhas and Paul Verhoeven are laughing their asses off every time they see the trailer for this movie.

I'm sure you must have seen this trailer before (it's been out for several weeks, now), but take a look again and see if you aren't laughing like a giddy hyena by the end of it:

And what the hell are Stanley Tucci and Alan Cumming doing in this movie? I can't imagine either of them needs the money. I know that work is work, but still...

Uncle P may very well get very wasted and see this movie, if only for its camp value. And I honestly hope that I am proven wrong and Burlesque will turn out to be an amazingly entertaining film... but I'm not counting any chickens, if you know what I mean.

If you want to see a really good, funny movie about Burlesque, put The Night They Raided Minsky's into your NetFlicks queue. I promise you will enjoy it.

Or take a trip to Vegas for Cirque du Soleil's take on Burlesque, Zumanity.

More, anon.
Prospero